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Joey shuffled into the kitchen, bare feet scuffing across the wood floor as she ran her fingers through her fuzzy halo of mussed hair and let out a long yawn, attempting to blink her eyes into fully conscious vision.

Oh, good Bessie glanced up from where was standing at the open refrigerator, reaching over to place a sippy cup full of milk onto the tray of Alexanders highchair before she let the door swing shut. Youre finally up. I was just about to come and wake you.

Finally? Joey squinted in the bright rays of the morning sun spilling in through the windows, waiting for the haze of confusion to burn off, her brain still foggy with slumber. Its barely even 8:00.

Yeah. Bessie raised her eyebrows and made a slight scoffing noise before giving her a brief, though pointed, stare. And I have an appointment in Falmouth at 9:00to meet with our insurance people to go over the fire damages. Remember?

Oh. Joey replied quietly as she dropped her head a bit, her stomach sinking a little as well. Right.

She moved over to the counter where the coffee was brewing, reaching up into the cabinet above to pull out a ceramic mug. Running her finger absently over the sharp groove where it was chipped along the rim, she glanced back over her shoulder to watch her older sister, noticing that she seemed to be avoiding direct eye contact.

So, I have no idea how long this is going to take... Bessie continued humorlessly as she rushed around the kitchen, wearing an old, faded tank top over a more business-appropriate black skirt, stopping here or there to wipe up dry flakes of oatmeal from the breakfast shed prepared for Alexander, And I just need to go finish getting ready She glanced up at the clock on the kitchen wall, muttering as she hurried away towards her bedroom. Oh, greatand now Im going to run straight into traffic on 28.

She hesitated, stopping to barely look back at Joey, who did not miss the rather dour expression of disapproval on her tense face.

And youre too young to be drinking so much coffee, you know that?

Joey frowned slightly as she lowered her eyes to the steam now rising from her mug, carefully placing the pot back, but she didnt bother to reply as Bessie disappeared around the corner.

Sighing, she turned to walk over to the table, slumping miserably into the seat across from Alexander. She plucked the plastic cup from his tray, unscrewing the lid to pour a few drops of milk into her coffee before returning it to him with a small smile as he held his hands out and laughed. Lifting the mug to her lips, she raised her weary eyes over the mug to gaze in the direction of her sisters room.

She, of course, understood how stressed Bessie must be at this point, but she still couldnt help but feel there was certain accusatory tone in the way she spoke to her lately. When she spoke to her at all, that is.

The weighted silences around the Potter household had grown so heavy in these past couple of weeks, in fact, that Joey felt the need to escape the pressure as often as she could.

Sadly enough, she was then forced to the realization that she had no place else to go. That the place she used to have was gone.

Gone to her, at least.

Dawson was leaving this morning for Philadelphia with his mother. Hed probably be gone most of the summer, according to her one brief conversation with Jen. And Joey had considered the possibility of calling him about a thousand times in the past few days. The times she subsequently rejected that possibility, however, numbered about a thousand and one.

There was a part of her that felt like she never needed him more than she did right at this moment. That he was the only one who could offer her any comfort or support at this particular time. There was another part of her, however, that felt like he was the last person she could ever turn to.

More than anything, she wanted to take back those five minutes, that last conversation between them. But there was a lot shed like to change about that day.

The fact it ever happened, for one.

But it did happen, and there was nothing she could do about that now. It was a little late for Joey Potter to start dwelling on the whys and what could have beens, because that would pretty much encompass her whole life by this point.

And maybe that was what was bothering her the most. Dawson had been there for her through all of that. So, she could admit, if only to herself, that there was a tiny part of her wishing that he would understand shed just been hurt and angry, that hed realize she needed him, and shed look up to see him standing there, at her door, to tell her he wasnt going to let her push him away. That he was sorry for the way everything had to go so horribly wrong, but that none of it mattered. That she was all that mattered.

That he still loved her, despite everything.

Bessie finally emerged from her room, wearing a short-sleeved blouse with her skirt now, her purse tucked under her arm as she headed directly for the door.

All right, like I said, Im not sure how long this is going to take or when Ill be back.

Okay. Joey called after her quietly. Bye.

She stared absently at the screen door long after Bessie had disappeared through it, wondering how she would actually feel if Dawson did suddenly materialize there. She realized she couldnt guarantee that the anger was completely gone.

It was confusing to acknowledge that the reason she thought she needed Dawson right now was that he was the only one who really knew her, when the reason he wasnt here was that shed basically felt like he didnt understand her at all. Hed disappointed her and hurt her with how little he seemed to actually get her, or her life.

Maybe she just wished that, for once, Dawson would actually get it. But again, she supposed that was the story of her life, too...the story of her life where he was concerned, anyway.

So, now what? Dawson was probably already on his way out of town at this point, and she wasnt sure if shed even have a way to reach him after this. While he went off to travel and meet new people, have new experiences, she was once again stuck here in Capeside. Maybe he was even relieved to get away from her at this point. She couldnt say she blamed him there. Shed like to get away from herself, too.

And then there was her sister, possibly the only other person even in her support network, who was barely talking to her these days. There was her father, who Joey wasnt sure she would ever talk to again. Her familys restaurant, their means of financial support, was gone, and Joey knew they hadnt even really begun to deal with the ramifications of that.

There were times in the past when Joey was feeling especially melancholy, and would wonder if her life could get any worse. She supposed this answered her question.

Sighing again, she leaned forward to prop her elbow on the table and rest her chin in her hand, when suddenly something wet and mushy hit her forehead, right above her eye.

Reaching up to wipe the offending substance off with a mild grimace of disgust, she glanced over in the direction from which the projectile oatmeal had traveled to see Alexander laughing with delight, his fingers and face covered in the lumpy beige sludge as he dipped both his chubby baby hands into the bowl in front of him.

Joey rolled her eyes with a smirk, muttering under her breath as she stood up from the table to get the paper towels.

What I did on my summer vacation





Pacey stepped out of the General Store into the summer sunshine, grabbing his bike from where hed left it resting against the side of the building to walk it only few feet down the road before he stopped to crack open the coca-cola bottle he purchased inside.

Tilting his head back, he had just lifted the bottle to touch it to his lips when the loud whoop and wail of a siren from directly behind startled him, making him jump so that he nearly dropped his soda, spilling half of it down the front of his shirt.

He turned around, his look of surprise shrinking into an irritated scowl as he wiped the front of his t-shirt off, seeing that it was actually his brother Doug sitting behind the wheel of the police cruiser that had snuck up on him.

Oh, Im sorry, little brother Doug opened the door to climb out of the drivers seat, feigning an apologetic tone although his words were still punctuated by laughter. Did I scare you there?

Pacey only gave him a weary smirk as he shook his head.

Dont you have better ways to be wasting the taxpayers money? He shrugged. Isnt there a Dunkin Donuts around here you could be staking out or something?

Im actually following up on a APB that was issued. Doug explained, moving to sit on the hood of his car and folding his arms across his chest.

For your heterosexuality? Pacey offered. Because Im afraid that is long gone.

Doug narrowed his eyes with his own smirk. No, I was actually looking for you. At dads request.

Pacey felt an immediate and inexplicable sense of dread settle in the pit of his stomach, a completely involuntary reaction since he had no reason he could think of offhand as to why his father would want to talk to him.

He didnt think that he'd done anything wrong lately.

Or had he?

Why? He shifted uneasily. What does he want?

I believe he may have lined up some gainful employment for you this summer. Doug shrugged dismissively. Something at the marina down on Front Street?

A job? Pacey lowered his gaze to the ground, feeling some of the apprehension drain from his body only to be replaced with some mild confusion.

Well, you were complaining about being broke last time I was over at the house. Doug reminded him. And you only work that joband I use that term loosely, by the wayat the video place a few nights a week, dont you? He tilted his head to appraise him as his voice changed, softened slightly. I kind of thought, under the circumstances, that you might welcome the opportunity to keep yourself busy this summer.

Pacey raised his eyebrows, still staring at the ground as he let out a long sigh. Yeahyeah, I guess youre right. That might not be such a bad idea.

And how are you holding up?

Eh, right now? Pacey glanced up at his brother with a hollow chuckle. Id have to say my level of teenage male angst is not so much at John Cusack in Say Anything as it is in the vicinity of John Cusack in Better Off Dead. You know He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. Except for having some really hot French exchange student to keep me company in my time of need.

Doug smiled a little in amusement before asking, So, have you talked to her?

Once. He dropped his head again, the corner of his mouth almost involuntarily tugging up into a sad smile as he remembered that moment he picked up the phone to realize it was Andie on the other end of the line. She called a couple of nights ago. But, shes entering that inpatient treatment center tomorrow so, ah, I dont know He found he had to clear his throat, shrugging his shoulder dismissively. It might be a while before we can talk like that again.

Doug watched him a moment before replying quietly. Well, hopefully this will be what she needs to feel better.

Pacey shrugged unconvincingly as he glanced away. Yeah.

Well Doug pushed off the front of his cruiser with a sigh, walking back around to open the door and pausing before he actually got behind the wheel. Give her our best wishes if you talk to her again soon, and I guess Ill be seeing you around. Dont forget to stop by the station and see dad.

Okay. Pacey responded absently, his thoughts now a million miles away.

He watched Doug turn the cruiser around to head back towards town, lifting the cola bottle he still held to take a couple of long swallows before tossing it away in a nearby trash receptacle.

Grasping the handlebars of his bike, he swung his leg over the metal bar to begin pedaling slowly in the direction Doug had just gone.

Pacey had woken up this morning doing relatively okay. The aftereffects of her phone call on his psyche, hearing her voice when it sounded so very far away, had started to diminish and wane. But it was like it was always there, hiding just under the surface, and, like anything, simply ignoring while he went about the business of everyday living did not make it disappear.

He still missed her so much it hurt. That hadnt changed. Maybe he was just forgetting what it felt like before this. What it felt like not to hurt.

But it wouldnt be like this forever. He had to believe she was going to get well and come back to him.

And the reason he had to believe that was that the alternative was something he was not ready to even consider.

Pacey could admit now, with a little bit of distance and perspective on the whole situation, that it had been pretty foolish and nave of him to think if he just loved her enough, that would be all she needed to feel better. What was wrong with Andie was a serious medical condition, and needed to be handled by serious trained professionals. He, of course, understood that intellectually.

Yet still that feeling, that guilt, that sense that he hadnt been able to do more nagged persistently at Paceys conscience.

Only now he wasnt so certain as to whether it had been that he couldnt love her enough to help her...or was it that he didnt love her enough.

Pacey didnt like having thoughts like that, his imagination getting the better of him when he had too much time on his hands to sit and mull things over. Honestly, hed been quite happy living the unexamined life up to this point. Like his own personal Socrates, he left all the analyzing and deconstructing in the more capable hands of his good friend Dawson Leery.

But he had to admit time certainly messes with memories in strange ways, and the things that seem to rise to the surface of our minds when we reflect on the past may not always be the things we expected.

Because, with all the shades and variations of sadness, loneliness and regret Pacey had experienced in these past couple of weeks since Andie had been gone, he had to acknowledge that there was another part of him that was feeling something else altogether.

And maybe what had really been eating away at Paceys conscience was the fact it felt an awful lot like relief.





Joey trudged dejectedly down the driveway, the sand dusted gravel crunching under her feet, before she turned into the yard at the end of the row of azalea bushes. Pausing to remove her sandals, which were so worn out the frayed strap had broken along the way, she sighed in relief as her toes sank into the thick, soft grass. Which then only reminded her that the lawn desperately needed to be mowed.

She crossed the yard, rubbing distractedly at the light sheen of sweat on the back of her neck, the tendrils of hair that had escaped her ponytail all curling and frizzing in the heat and humidity of the afternoon.

When shed left the house first thing this morning, she was fairly confident she would be returning victorious as the brand new employee of one of the several restaurants or cafs or eateries in downtown Capeside, but shed had no such luck.

While all the area businesses obviously observed a jump in business now that the summer was upon them, they also planned ahead accordingly, and had hired all the help they were going to need months ago. It didnt help matters that there were hordes of summer people and college kids coming here looking to waitress or bartend at night, jobs that allowed them to make some money while leaving their days free for the beach. Employers were probably actually looking for these kinds of applicants, in fact, to save them the bother of having to let them go once the off-season rolled around.

And, of course, then there were the year-round employers who were mostly local Capeside townsfolk, none of them too keen on hiring the daughter of a known ex-con, especially an ex-con whod very recently and very publicly become reunited with his once and former criminal ways.

The fact his criminal ways resulted in one restaurant being burned to the ground probably wasnt a huge selling point, either. Though she imagined they probably secretly appreciated the drop in competition right in time for the tourist trade.

Turning the corner of the house, she slowed to a stop to see Bessie sitting there on the steps, watching Alexander as he played and splashed about in his plastic turtle-shaped kiddie pool a few feet away.

Hey. She smiled tentatively before grabbing a nearby metal folding beach chair to pull it up to the side of the pool.

Dropping down to sit, she dipped her toes in, deciding to give her aching feet an impromptu whirlpool sauna as Alexander continued jumping and spinning about in the eight inches of water.

Hey. How did it go? Bessie tilted her head to watch her, but Joey only shook her head in grim response.

Okay Bessie sighed in what sounded a lot like defeat and a little like irritation, which couldnt help but make Joey feel guilty, even though she knew this one was not her fault. I guess were back to square one.

She ran her hair through her hair, finer and lighter in color than Joeys thick brunette locks, as she continued.

Ive been sitting here going over my own options, but then I had to finally realize that day care is so expensive it almost wouldnt make a paycheck worth it. Id basically be working to pay for some stranger to take care of my son. She shook her head in mild dismay before arching her eyebrow, her voice dipping into sarcasm. Because, lets face itwith only my high school diploma and no real work experience besides the restaurant? You and I are about qualified for the exact same jobs, sis.

Have you heard anything more definite from the insurance guys? Joey asked quietly.

Bessie shook her head again with a small grimace, watching as Alexander climbed awkwardly out of the pool. Its going to be months before we see any money from them. Its all tied up in official investigations now.

Official investigations? Joey wrinkled her forehead uncertainly.

The fact it was arson. Bessie shrugged in vague explanation, twisting her body to reach for the bath towel behind her on the steps as she sighed tiredly. I dont knowits all just such a mess it makes me sick to even think about it right now.

She held the towel out and Alexander made a few stumbling steps in her direction, his momentum helping him more than his feet, as he was still getting used to having his little legs under him.

Cmon, baby boy. She murmured as she wrapped him up in the towel, sweeping him up in her arms to start inside the house. Lets get you dressed.

She turned away without another word, walking up the steps and disappearing through the screen door.

Joey remained in her chair, staring down at the pool, the surface ripples around her ankles blurring in her watery gaze, sniffing away the pins and needles sensation tickling the bridge of her nose as she tried her very best not to give in to the threatening tears.

But, as she pushed herself up from the chair, they spilled out on her cheeks, choking her voice by the time she got into the house to see Bessie emerging from her bedroom, Alexander sitting on her hip in a pair of pajamas.

Look Joey raised her hand to her forehead in a gesture of dismay, trying to get the trembling words out. I just want you to knowto know that Im sorry. I know youre blaming me for all thisfor dadbut I was scared and I didnt know what else to do andand

Blame you? Bessie frowned in confusion as she lowered Alexander to the floor, staring at Joey in near disbelief as she straightened to stand. You think I blame you for all this?

Joey only shrugged as she wiped at her wet cheeks with the palms of her hands, her breath coming out in soft hiccups now.

No, Joey Bessie shook her head definitively as she took a step closer with a faint scowl of self-contempt. I blame him. And I blame myself. Ive been walking around feeling so guilty Now her voice was becoming watered down with tears. I promised Mom I would look out for you, and I was too blindtoo nave I let him back into this house to ruin our lives. I let you do something that I should have never allowedsomething I might never forgive myself for. Youre still practically a kid, and for you to have to go through something like that

Her words trailed off as she glanced away, her tone almost pleading as she turned back to face her.

I should have been the one wearing that wire, Joey. Im supposed to protect you, and instead I put you right in harms way andI mean, youre my little sister and I should have never

Joey felt a weight lift off her chest as she took a few steps forward to throw her arms around her, resting her chin on her shoulder as she closed her red, bleary eyes with an aching sigh.

Im the one who is so sorry, Joey Bessies voice softened even more as she reached up to rub her back. Dont you get that? And its going to be all right. Im going to make this up to you and were going to stick together and get through this, okay?

In that moment, either in the gentle octave of her voice or the comforting caress of her hand, Joey was suddenly reminded of her mother in some small way, and her mouth fell open in a silent, shuddering sob as she held on a little tighter, finally giving herself completely over to her tears.





Joey pushed the cart in front of her she strolled along, her gaze slowly drifting over the rows and rows of perfectly aligned can goods, packages and cartons, pausing every so often to consult with the shopping list in her hand.

Tunapeascream of mushroom soup

She stopped short with a mild grimace of disgust, finally realizing what she actually held in her hand was a list of ingredients for Bessies tuna casserole. Wrinkling her nose, she crumpled the piece of paper in her fist, deciding that she would give her older sister, not to mention her stomach, a much-needed break tonight and make dinner herself.

Lifting her head to glance around the market, hoping to gain some culinary inspiration, she couldnt help but notice the two women who worked the cash registers at the front of the store exchanging whispered words and meaningful looks between the stares they were not-so-discreetly aiming in her direction.

She felt her cheeks flush instantaneously, but her face twisted into a scowl as she abruptly returned her attention to her shopping, refusing to let two gossipy old biddies get the better of her today. Because, honestly, if she was the most interesting topic of conversation they could come up with for their afternoon entertainment, then that was just sad.

Finding herself in the rice and pasta aisle, she hesitated when she spotted the familiar blue and white sign indicating a sale item, her eyes falling on the dry boxes of rigatoni, shells and elbow noodles at two for a dollar.

She grabbed several boxes off the shelf to toss them into her cart, deciding that whoever it was extolling the virtues of a low carbohydrate diet these days probably never found themselves in the unique position of trying to make twenty-five dollars worth of groceries stretch out over an entire week.

She made it a point to look the cashiers directly in the eye as she reached checkout, paying for the items with the bills shed folded carefully into the back pocket of her jean shorts.

Adjusting her grip on the bags, she stepped out of the air-conditioned market and was met by a heavy wave of humidity, the sweltering temperatures showing no signs of letting up even as the end of the day was approaching.

She turned to gaze out over the nearby harbor, lifting her chin in the hopes of catching even the slightest relief of ocean breezes as she started down the sidewalk towards home, but then slowed to a stop, squinting her eyes in the hazy sunshine as her gaze fell on a familiar figure sitting on one of the benches across the street.

She studied him uncertainly a moment from a distance, suddenly feeling an unexpected twinge of guilt to remember how dismissive shed been with Pacey the last time they saw each other. Under normal circumstances, she probably wouldnt have even thought twice about it, since thats just the way they were, but she had to begrudgingly acknowledge that it had been sort of nice for Pacey to have been thinking of her and her problems when she knew he had his own to deal with.

Joey had felt for a very long time like she was all sharp edges, a prickly porcupine of emotions, but lately found herself growing very weary of keeping up those kinds of sharp defenses. This latest situation with her father, the disappointment and heartache of it all, had worn her down more than she cared to admit, but it was she was still prone to being very reactionary. She had to acknowledge, however, that keeping people at arms length hadnt exactly helped her out up to this point in life. She still managed to get hurt on a regular basis. And, usually, she did only end up alone.

She crossed the street to slowly approach him, noticing his bike resting against the back of the bench on which he was sitting. He didnt seem to notice her at first, his gaze focused on the drawbridge that traversed this small inlet of the harbor, which fed into the mouth of the river. It was currently in the up position to let a large commercial fishing vessel pass by underneath, coasting over the currents on its way out to open ocean, seeming to only inch along as it observed the Slow, No Wake signs posted all over the area.

Narrowing her eyes as she heard the impatient sounds of horn blasts, she peered across the water to see there was a long backup of vehicles on the other side, some, in all probability day tourists and vacationers, trying to pull out of line to get around the other cars as if their SUVs had aquatic capabilities that were going to somehow allow them to go anywhere, subsequently causing an even greater mess of traffic by then blocking any access to side streets.

She dropped to sit on the bench next to him, and he simply shook his head, letting out a weary sigh.

You know, its not the heat He tilted his head towards her. So much as it is the stupidity.

Welcome to summer on Cape Cod. She smirked in agreement.

He nodded his head, only making a small sound of acknowledgement.

Joey watched him out of the corner of her eye as he returned his attention to the harbor. So, umwhat have you been up to?

Why, no good, of course.

Well, yeah, I figured that. She arched an eyebrow with a sardonic murmur. I just meant how and where youd been accomplishing that outside the walls of Capeside High.

Well, as you can imagine Pacey took a deep breath and let it out in a rush of air, that familiar humorous lilt of sarcasm in his tone. My vacation thus far has been the typical whirlwind of boating and beach parties, sun and fun. He glanced over at her. How bout you?

Oh, pretty much the same. She concurred without missing a beat. Nonstop excitement.

Arching his eyebrow with a skeptical smirk, he motioned towards the grocery bags resting at her feet.

So, I see.

Hey, its two-for-one coupon day! She protested with more seriousness than shed intended.

Pacey nodded his head and Joey felt her own reluctant smile tugging up as she watched the amused grin spread slowly across his face. Despite his status as their resident goofball, she realized it had been a long time since shed seen Pacey in a laughing mood.

Remembering all hed been through, too, she softened her voice gently.

So, have you talked to Andie recently?

Ah, not recentlyno. The grin immediately faded as he dropped his head to stare at the ground, kicking at a pebble with the toe of his sneaker. The general consensus is that she needs to focus on her therapy right now and so, you knowI guess that means Im out.

Joeys forehead wrinkled in concern, feeling bad that she so quickly deflated his mood, the hurt in his voice unmistakable. But she couldnt help herself, really only knowing one way to relate to Pacey.

Well, you do pose a threat to the general mental health and well being of most people, so...I guess I can understand that.

He seemed to hesitate, and she instantly felt like a complete moron for being so insensitive.

But when he then lifted his head to gaze out at the harbor, the grin had returned in full force, although it twisted into an amused smirk as he chuckled.

Joey smiled in some relief, feeling an unmistakable yet bizarre sense of connection with him in that moment.

You miss her. She acknowledged quietly, knowing almost exactly how he must feel.

Yeah, you could say that. Paceys chuckle softened before it trailed off and he glanced over at her. So, how bout you? You missing anyone these days, Potter?

Joey turned her head to gaze out at the water, realizing that the list of people she missed in her life nearly matched the list of people still here in it.

Paceys voice changed, adding a trace of apology to his tone, as if hed practically read her thoughts.

Sorry. Dumb question.

No. Joey shook her head to reassure him. Its just that I dont spend a lot of time these days dwelling on my feelings regarding the current state of my life. She tilted her head towards him with a wry smile. Ive found its sort of counter-productive to actually living it.

Yeah Pacey sighed with another nod of his head. I hear that.

The both sat in a sort of contemplative quiet for a moment, a distinct lack of awkwardness in the silence that lapsed between them.

So, I thought I might have seen you the other day. Joey finally turned to watch his face as she suddenly recalled her recent spotting. I was applying for a waitress position down at that new restaurant on Front Street? I thought I saw you down on the dock in the marina, but I was too far away to be sure.

Ah, yes. Pacey acknowledged with another faint chuckle. My former employers.

Former? Joey narrowed her eyes curiously. When were they ever your present employers?

Ohas of about 10:15 this morning they gave up rights to that particular title, Pacey explained with a shrug of his shoulders as he reclined slightly to drape his arm over the back of the bench. Since thats when they fired me for showing up late three days in a row. And my father set the job up for me He tilted his head to give her a meaningful look. So I think we can safely say any recent dtentes reached between us there are going to quickly fall by the wayside.

Sorry. Joey mumbled as she lowered her gaze to the sidewalk in front of them, the mention of Sheriff Witter reminding her of her own father, her stomach swaying with that familiar queasiness.

But she was almost surprised to realize that, for a moment before the unwelcome reminder, sitting here with Pacey, shed actually been able to take her mind off of all that.

Eh, what are ya gonna do? Pacey brushed it off dismissively, squinting his eyes to regard her in the warm glow of the afternoon sun. So, youre going to be working at that restaurant, huh?

Ahno. Joey replied shortly with a small, self-deprecating laugh. They told me theyd keep my application on file, but they hired a full summer staff way back in April. And, of course She gave him another reluctant smirk. Back in April I already had a waitress job.

He smiled sadly, lifting the hand that had been resting on the bench rail behind her to touch it just briefly to her shoulder. A simple, unassuming gesture of reassurance that affected Joey more deeply than she could have expected. She stiffened against the wave of sadness that washed over her, not needing someone like Pacey be witness to any embarrassing displays of wallowing.

He immediately shifted away, moving to lean forward and rest his elbows on his knees, and she watched him thoughtfully for a moment.

So, what exactly does this marina job you just got fired from entail?

He glanced back at her over his shoulder with a chuckle, immediately understanding what she was asking as he feigned offense, gesturing with his hands.

Can you at least wait until the bodys cold? Women he shook his head dejectedly, though still with a joking tone, as he returned his gaze to the harbor. Im telling ya.

Seriously, Pacey Joey sighed in resignation. Im in dire need of employment here.

Well, I have to warn you. He sat up straighter in his seat with a dubious sigh. There was some extensive manual labor involved. Fueling the boats, washing down hulls

Well, when the alternative is going broke and losing our home, being tossed out onto the street so that the state can come in and potentially remove my minor ass from my sisters custody, I think I can handle it. Joey blurted out rather harshly, surprising even herself with the sudden outburst.

But she supposed it could be said she was a little on edge these days.

Paceys face fell a little, blinking just once as he stared at her with a blank expression, and Joey had to glance away as she felt herself start to bristle with irritation again, uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of anyones pity and angry that it seemed there was always a reason that put her in that exact position.

But he didnt offer any apologetic remarks, only responded quietly and seriously to her original query.

You should try to get there first thing in the morning and ask for Rob. Just tell him youve got experience working a boatyard and youll probably have no problems getting hired.

But I dont have exper

Doesnt matter. Pacey cut her off with a shake of his head. Just tell them you do.

Yeah, but what if

They wont.

Okay, well She took in a deep breath of ocean air to release it slowly. I should be getting home to help Bessie with dinner.

Oh, right. Pacey nodded his head accordingly, but didnt exactly meet her eyes as he cleared his throat. I should probably get going home, too. Its about that time.

Okay. She moved to stand, adjusting her grip on her grocery bags as gazed down at him and shrugged uncertainly. I guess Ill see you around.

He tilted his head with a small, teasing grin, squinting up in the sun.

Not if I see you first, Potter.

Oh, hardy-ha-hah She muttered tiredly with a roll of her eyes as she turned to walk away, but then laughed in spite of herself, a part of her oddly relieved that he wasnt treating her differently now, even after she felt the inexplicable need to lay out her familys private problems right in front of him.

Besides, the sound of his chuckle could be somewhat infectious at times, even if it did usually accompany him being a doofus.

Waiting for a momentary break in the light traffic that began to congest downtown Capeside at this time of day, she crossed the street, heading back in the direction of her house once she reached the sidewalk on the other side.

But something made her hesitate, and she glanced back over her shoulder, slowing to a stop when she narrowed her eyes to notice that Pacey hadnt moved from the spot shed left him in

Letting out a soft sigh, she lowered her eyes to the ground as she chewed absently on her lower lip.

She supposed she never considered the fact that, with all of the personal problems Pacey had experienced of late, like her, hed also lost the safe retreat of the Leery household when Dawson left for the summer. Even though, as with most things, he turned his job firing into a joke, Joey had been around long enough to know that the situation with Pacey and his father wasnt always a joking matter.

Thats when it finally dawned on her that Pacey probably had no intentions of going home any time soon.

Hey.

She watched as he glanced up in surprise from his seat on the bench, his face falling a little to see her standing there in front of him again.

I was just, ah She wrinkled her forehead and swallowed as she tried to think of what to say, being at a loss with Pacey sometimes when it came to anything but a sarcastic retort. I was just walking home and it suddenly occurred to me that I never really thanked you for, umwell, for being there for me when everything was happening with my father. And the night of the fireeverything.

She hesitated, glancing down at the grocery bag in her hand. Its also occurred to me I just bought way too much pasta because it was on saleso, um She lifted her eyes tentatively to meet his gaze. I was wondering if you might like to come over for dinner?

Paceys mouth looked like it was going to fall open, but he caught himself, only a hint of surprise and confusion in his response.

What? You mean to your house?

Well Joey tilted her head with a smirk as she narrowed her eyes, unable to resist even when she was feeling a little sorry for him. I was actually thinking maybe you could just sit outside, if thats okay, since we recently had the carpets cleaned and all, butyeah.

His face softened with a slow grin.

Well, nowhow could I refuse an offer like that?

Cmon, then. She grinned as well, motioning with a nod of her head.

Pacey jumped up from the bench to grab his bike, pushing it along to fall in step with her a while before he reached over to try to take the bags from her hand.

She hesitated with a frown and her grip instinctively tightened, not immediately understanding what he was doing.

Relax, Gloria Steinem Pacey rolled his eyes with a smirk, finally extricating the bags from her hand to drape them on the handlebars of his bike.

Oh. She mumbled contritely and they continued walking. Thanks.

Youre welcome. He grinned, leaning a little closer towards her with an expectant smile, laughing when she then shoved him away with a smirk.

And youre an idiot.

You know, Potter, one of these days His sighed dramatically, but the amusement still infused his words as he touched his hand to his chest. Youre gonna have to just admit it. Over all these many long years weve been forced into each others company by default, my charm has started to grow on you a bit.

Yeah, youre right. She agreed without missing a beat.

I am? Paceys eyes widened as his voice cracked in mild surprise.

Mm-hmm. She tried not to smile. Just like a fungus.

Oh, hardy-ha-hah.

Pacey wheeled his bike through the doors of the shed in the backyard, turning to glance up at his house, the faint light of the moon filtered through the surrounding tree branches casting dark and somewhat ominous shadows across the wood siding.

The windows were open, so he could hear the low murmur of the television drifting out through the screens, though it was nearly drowned out by the insistent chirping of crickets and the night breezes ruffling the leaves all around him. He could see that the light in his parents bedroom was on, which probably meant his mother had already retired up there to read one of her magazines or romance novels. His father would probably be settled into his easy chair in the den, planted in front of the television by now with a beer or two. Or three.

He rounded the corner of the house and slowly trudged up the front steps, hesitating on the porch to let out long, shaky breath. To say that he wasnt looking forward to this would be a bit of an understatement.

Turning the knob to push open the door, he eased his way inside as unobtrusively as possible, glancing over in the direction of the kitchen first. The lights were off, but he could see from here that the stove was barren. That didnt really surprise him, however, since his mother wasnt in the habit of saving him anything if he wasnt home on time for dinner. He supposed she just assumed hed have dinner at the Leerys, just as if he hadnt come home at all, shed probably have assumed he was staying the night there. This even despite the fact Pacey was fairly certain hed already informed her several times that Dawson was gone for the summer.

Pacey sometimes couldnt help but wonder, especially on nights like this where he found himself pedaling his bike along the dark and deserted streets of Capeside, if he happened to be met with some terrible fate, how long it would take anyone around here to notice.

His best guess had it around two to three days. Of course, thats not taking into consideration the time he went up to New Hampshire to go skiing with the Leerys for four days in seventh grade, only to get back and discover that no one on his house had even realized he was gone.

He closed the door behind him as quietly as he could, his hands clenching and unclenching into fists by his side as he swallowed nervously and turned to start in the direction of the blue flickering light emanating from the den, hearing his fathers gruff voice as he muttered something unintelligible at the television screen.

He took a few steps, pausing in the doorway and cringing slightly to see that the Red Sox were currently being beaten, and beaten badly, by the Yankees. Yeah, that should just do wonders for his fathers mood at this point.

Ah He cleared his throat as he turned to glance at him warily. Hey, Pop.

John Witter barely even turned his head in Paceys direction, only giving him a nod of acknowledgement and a disinterested murmur of greeting in return.

The familiar planes of his face were outlined in the glow from the television screen, shadowed in the dim light from the small lamp on the end table, everything about his features slightly distorted, blurred, as they always seemed to be whenever he had more than a couple of beers. Even his hair seemed to show the effects of the alcohol in his system, the strands he carefully combed and smoothed across his head when he left for work now mussed, sticking up here and there in sparse, graying tufts. And then, of course, his eyes always gave it away. Sober, they matched the exact blue of Paceys, especially when they shone brightly with some joke he was telling. But now they were dull and bleary and shadowed. He looked very, very old when hed been drinking.

Pacey found he had to swallow again to speak, shifting uneasily where he stood.

I was, umI was hoping I could talk to you a minute. Its about that marina job.

His father actually gave him his full attention then, barking out roughly, Oh, yeah? What about it?

Well, I, umI sort of got let go today.

Let go? His father arched a skeptical eyebrow with a harsh laugh. Or were you fired?

Fired might, um, be a better choice of wordsyeah. Pacey agreed, bracing himself for the inevitable fallout.

Goddammit. His father shook his head with a scowl. What the hell did you do now?

Pacey would have taken some offense to the fact his father immediately thought it was his fault, had it not actually been his fault, and had he not been so used to it.

Uh, I think they said something about me showing up too late Pacey brushed it off, speaking more rapidly now and gesturing with his hands as he tried to get out what he came to say before he lost his nerve. But what I actually wanted to talk to you about was the fact that I have a friend who could really use the jobwho is going down there tomorrow to apply for itand I was really hoping that you could give Mr. Logan a call, since you know him and all

Paceys voice trailed off uneasily, watching his fathers face fall in disbelief, landing somewhere pretty close to shock, as he stared back to him.

Oh, sure He finally overcame his surprise enough to scoff in sarcasm. And I guess I should just assure him that this guy is more hard-working and trustworthy than my own kid, although we all know thats not much of a stretchheh. He chuckled humorlessly as he rubbed a hand over his face in distraction. So, who is hethis friend of yours?

Its a her. Pacey replied quietly as he lowered his gaze. Its Joey...Joey Potter.

His father seemed to be momentarily taken aback before his face relaxed slightly, and then he lowered his gaze to the floor, seeming to carefully contemplate this.

And she could really use the job. Theyre, umtheyre obviously having some financial problems right now. Pacey continued at a low mumble. And Im afraid those guys down there wont give her a chance unless someone puts in a good word for her. That they might not hire her otherwise.

His father looked back to the television, not to him, as he shook his head with a weary sigh, relenting. Fine. Ill call him in the morning and see what I can do.

Thanks. Pacey let out a silent release of breath in relief as he nodded his head, turning to go, but his fathers voice stopped him cold.

But sooner or later youre going to have to learn the meaning of responsibility, you hear me? Youve got to realize that you only have two years left in that high school of yours, and before you know it youre going to be out making your own way in the work force.

Pacey dropped his head to hide his tired smirk, realizing that his parents had never even considered something like college to be an option where his future was concerned.

And, in all honestly, it wasnt really an option Pacey had considered all that much either, but only because Pacey had never really seriously considered a plan for his immediate future beyond getting out of Capeside High. Of course he imagined himself in various professions when he grew up, and in all probability had envisioned a few spring break type scenarios in his day, but it was all sort of in passing or to amuse himself when he was bored.

But thats one of the things that Andie had changed about him. She had forced him to see his future with a little more clarity and a healthy dose of reality, and urged him to strive for more.

Unfortunately, sometimes pointing out to people what goals you think they are capable of achieving only serves to highlight for them all that is out of their reach, and telling someone you can do this might then leave them pondering things like but what if I cant?

Things that theyd been perfectly happy not to ponder, in other words.

So, Im telling you right now His father continued, pointing at him with one finger in an accusatory manner. Youd better have something else lined up for yourself by the end of the week, because Im not going to have you hanging around all summer like some kind of bum. Understand?

Yeah. Pacey replied tightly as he edged away, trying not to acknowledge his rising sense of irritation, and the inexplicable and sudden urge to point out to his father the similarities between a bum and a drunk.

But he didnt want to jeopardize the fact hed gotten his father to agree to help Joey, since her problems right now were a little more serious than his own. And he knew by now it really didnt matter what he said to his father when he had gotten to this point, because what was the likelihood hed even remember it?

Alcoholism wasnt really a word that was used in the Witter household. The standard accepted belief instilled in them for as long as Pacey could remember was that his father had a serious, stressful job, and there was nothing wrong with the fact that every so often he would come home to relax and toss back a few beers after dinner. The understanding was that the kids would all stay out of his way during these times, but Pacey finally realized that was probably more for their own benefit than his.

All he knew was that hed recently gotten glimpses of the man he always wished his father would be, secretly hoped that he could be, but all signs of that man seemed to disappear into the bottle he lifted to his mouth.

And take out the trash before you go up to bed!

Pacey crossed the dark and quiet house to the kitchen without another word, removing the overstuffed plastic trash bag from the barrel and grimacing in annoyance as a few empty beer bottles fell out, clattering noisily to the tiled floor but thankfully not breaking. It was also accepted in the Witter family that containers of alcohol didnt go into the recycling bins, to sit out in front of their house on display for the whole neighborhood come trash day. Picking them up quickly, Pacey shoved them back inside the bag, twisting the flaps into a knot before dragging it outside.

He hesitated as he started back towards the house, his eyes slowly drifting over it again. Suddenly, he turned to walk to the shed, dragging his bike back out and swinging his leg over to hop on as he pedaled away in the direction of the beach, deciding he just wanted to sleep somewhere he could breathe tonight.





Joey jutted her hip out to rest her weight on one leg, hosing down the side of a Grady White at its slip. This was her last boat of the day, and then it would be time to punch out, thus ending her first week at her new job.

She had to admit it had been a little more than shed bargained for, and everyone here had seemed understandably skeptical when she first showed up to apply, but they hired her anyway, putting a temporary end to her financial worries to at least know theyd have some money coming in.

Shed have to remember to thank Pacey for being such a slacker. If he hadnt gotten himself fired, she might still be without work.

The sounds of shouts and bursts of laughter pulled her attention away and she glanced over to see a loud and boisterous group walking down the dock towards her, all looking tanned and windswept like theyd probably just come in from a day out on the harbor.

Squinting her eyes a little in the suns glare, she realized she recognized a few of them from Capeside High. Cassidy Martin and her crew. Joey quickly turned away, feeling her cheeks heat up a bit.

Cassidy was in her grade, a vivacious blonde who was both pretty and popular. She was a cheerleader who seemed to only date boys from the senior class, drove a fully-loaded Ranger Rover and lived out in one of the mansions in the Capeside Bluffs area of town.

In other words, she was exactly the kind of person you didnt want to see when you were washing down other peoples boats.

Joey turned her whole body away as they drew closer so as not to have to face the humiliation of possibly being recognized, hearing them excitedly making plans for some party that night.

But suddenly the conversation seemed to stop, replaced by hushed whispers and snickers of barely concealed laughter as they passed by her.

Joey only focused her attention on her work, her eyes darkening. It wasnt too hard to figure out what they were talking about. Especially since the volume of their conversation returned to its normal level once they were a safe distance away.

She went to move around to the other side of the boat, tugging angrily at the hose before she realized it was stuck, wrapped around a piling. She bent over to untangle it, the hair rising up on the back of her neck with that prickly sensation, feeling as if she were being watched.

Turning around, she saw Rob Logan was now standing on the dock directly behind her, not missing the fact his eyes had been focused in the general region of her ass.

Nice view out here. He grinned in his smarmy way.

You know, Rob, she smirked, trying to keep her voice light although her mouth was set to a thin, sharp line. Its not really advisable to be giving me a hard time when Im armed.

He-heh Rob laughed dismissively as he moved to continue on his way to the marina office. You wouldnt dare.

Joeys forced smile slowly faded into something close to a sneer as she watched him depart, narrowing her eyes in the glare of the summer sun to aim the hose nozzle at dead center of his back, muttering to herself.

Go aheadmake my day.

Robs father was the owner of Logan Marina and had put him in charge of overseeing the day-to-day operations. Which meant Joey had to deal with him and his typical lewd remarks on a daily basis. Not exactly the most pleasant of experiences.

Once she finished up, she slipped into the office as quickly and as covertly as possible to punch out, wanting to avoid any further run-ins with him.

She was finding it exceedingly difficult to bite her tongue where Rob was concerned, but as her familys sole means of financial support right now, she couldnt really afford to lose this job. She realized she would just have to grin and bear it. Okay, so maybe it was more like scowl and bear it. And, of course, whiling away her time by imagining various misfortunes befalling him helped a little, too.

Trudging up the wooden boat ramp to begin her trek home, Joey slowed to a stop, the corner of her mouth curling up in a faint smile of surprise to see Pacey suddenly pull up in the Witter Jeep.

Leaning over to the passenger side, he pushed opened the door, motioning with his head for her to hop in.

Need a ride home?

Joey pulled herself up into the seat and closed the door, smiling over at him tiredly.

Yeah, thanks. She adjusted her position to fasten her seatbelt. That was good timing.

Pacey glanced up at his rear view mirror as he swung the wheel to maneuver his way out of the marina parking lot.

It just so happens that I was getting off work now, too.

Oh, yeah? Joey replied nonchalantly, turning to gaze out her open window as she draped her arm on the truck door. I didnt realize the carnival was already in town.

Well, if they didnt call, thats probably only because they decided to discontinue the freak show attractions this year. He tilted his head to grin at her, slowing to a partial stop at the exit before pulling out onto the street. Something about it not being considered politically correctI dont know

His words trailed off with a chuckle as she turned to meet his gaze, narrowing her eyes humorlessly.

Im working for that boat mechanics place over on the other side of marina. He shrugged in explanation.

Doing what?

Well, Id think it would be obvious, but He reached up to quickly scratch at his chin and then gestured with the hand. Fixing boats. Only Im not so much fixing them right now as carting around parts and tools for other people to fix them, but pretty soon theyre gonna let me have a go at it.

And how did you get that job? She arched a skeptical eyebrow as she nodded towards the dashboard. Were they impressed with your ability to hot wire an ignition system?

Nah, I just told them I had some experience. Pacey shook his head as he drove before glancing over to meet her eyes again. And, for your information, my father is being a little more generous with the Wagoneer now that Im employed full time.

And actually having your license now? The corner of her mouth tilted up in a wry smile. Was that a factor at all, ya think?

Might have played a small part now that you mention it, yeah. Pacey squinted his eyes thoughtfully to concede, and then returned his attention to her. So, as a recent graduate of the Pacey Witter School of Bogus Credentials, what do you think after your first week? A little more hard labor that you envisioned for yourself there?

Nope. Joey tilted her chin up almost defiantly, even though muscles she didnt even realize she had before were aching right now. But she wasnt going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that, especially since hed initially doubted her abilities. A girl has to have her pride, after all.

Pacey was only smiling rather skeptically in response as he studied her a moment, but let it go at that, turning his eyes back to the road.

Have you talked to Jack or Jen recently?

Joey shrugged, shifting uncomfortably as her gaze drifted out the window again.

No, but I think Jen may have called the other day.

Shed been home at the time, soaking in the tub after work, and asked Bessie to just take a message. Never quite found the time to get back to her, however. But Joey didnt really have a lot to say to people these days. She just didnt feel like she had the energy for it.

Yeah, she left me a couple of messages, too. Pacey nodded his head. I might swing by there later and see what theyre doing tonight. You interested?

Joey shook her head slowly as she continued to stare out the window, folding her arms across her chest.

Im not really up for socializing. But, thanks.

Okay. He sighed quietly, and again she was grateful when he didnt press the matter at all or try to convince her to change her mind, only tapping his hand on the top of the steering wheel in rhythm with the music on the radio as he continued to drive.

Only a few moments later they were pulling into her driveway, and he let the truck roll to a stop.

Thanks again, Pacey. Ill see ya. She mumbled as she pushed the door open to hop to the ground, slamming it behind her before starting across the yard.

But shed only taken a couple of steps when she heard the volume of the radio lower, his voice calling after her in a comically feigned accent that fell somewhere between the Crocodile Hunter guy and Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter.

Watch as she moves stealthily through the underbrush to stalk her prey, camouflaged in the lush foliage of her natural habitat

Joey stopped short, placing her hands on her hips to turn around and smirk at him.

Is that your way of insinuating our grass is getting a little too long, Pacey?

A little too long? He laughed through the open truck window as he pointed past her shoulder. I think I just saw a squirrel over there wielding a machete.

So Ive been preoccupied. She shrugged with a frown. Mowing the lawn hasnt exactly been a priority on my list of things to do, okay?

Well, I think you might need a new list then.

You knowyoure absolutely right. She narrowed her eyes as if careful contemplation, with a little bit of menace thrown in for good measure. And guess who just made the top of it.

Ah, I knew it was only a matter of time before you came around to appreciate me, Potter.

Yeahits not that kind of list. She practically snorted in irritation as she turned back towards the house.

See ya, Joey!

She raised her arm in response, and Pacey chuckled to himself again as he pulled away down the driveway, pretty certain that only one finger extended in the air wasnt exactly a wave of goodbye.





Joey rolled over, pressing her face into her pillow with a soft, barely-cognizant murmur of annoyance, having been pulled unwillingly from her slumber by noises outside, some sort of motor or machinery in operation. Hoping it would just go away and thinking only happy sleep thoughts, she groaned when it only grew louder instead, grabbing the pillow to cover her head with it.

Finally giving up, she threw her covers off to get up, practically stumbling towards the kitchen as she rubbed at her eyes.

Bessie was standing by the window in her pajamas and a robe, leaning against the counter with both her hands wrapped around a ceramic mug.

What the hell is that noise? Joey grumbled and muttered, her voice still rough and scratchy from sleep.

That noise would be your friend Pacey. Bessie replied matter-of-factly. Mowing our lawn.

Joey hesitated with a confused scowl before walking over to stand next to her sister at the window, repeating. What?

Her face softened and she felt the surprised smile tugging involuntarily at the corners of her mouth as she peered out into the yard, folding her arms across her chest as she shivered in the light morning breezes drifting in through the screen.

Sure enough, there was Pacey, pushing a power mower along that looked nothing like the circa 1970 model they had out back in the shed. His t-shirt was off, tucked into the back pocket of his khaki shorts, the summer sun beating down on his back as he followed a grid-like pattern across their lawn.

Bessie glanced over at her. He just showed up here about a half hour ago with that mower in the back of his truck. He said he was picking it up from the repair shop for his dad and figured hed give it a trial run on our lawn. And I wasnt exactly about to say no to that kind of offer.

Joey shook her head slowly, almost needing to blink her eyes to make sure she wasnt seeing things before she turned away from the window, the small smile still lingering.

Lured towards the aroma of fresh coffee brewing, Joey moved over to the cabinets to retrieve a mug while Bessies attention was still focused out the window.

I have to admit She murmured thoughtfully as she raised her own mug to her lips. Pacey Witter certainly is growing up nicely.

Oh, you did not just say that... Joeys shoulders slumped as she went to pour herself some coffee, grimacing as she glanced over at her sister and lifting one hand to touch it to her brow in a gesture of dismay. I think something inside my head just exploded.

What? Bessie shrugged dismissively as she turned away from the window. So hes got a nice body.

Joey closed her eyes with a soft groan. And now I think Ive gone deaf.

Its not a crime to notice. Bessie shook her head with a short laugh. Your sister may be getting old, but Im not dead.

No, but youre obviously either very ill or very drunk.

Bessie smirked as she tilted her mug for Joey to see inside. Its coffee.

Then I suggest you go lay down because you may be coming down with a dangerously high fever, and you have a child to think of. Joey nearly shuddered.

You watch Bessie laughed again as she tossed the remains of her coffee down the sink drain before moving to head towards her bedroom. It was always right around the summer of sophomore year that the boys Id grown up with seemed to change the most, and for the better. Youd come back to school in the fall and hardly recognize them, and start to wonder whatd youd been missing out on all those years. Unfortunately, it didnt take long to realize that, while they may have changed physically, the fact they could be juvenile and clueless hadnt changed at all.

Joeys gaze lowered to the floor as Bessie walked away, her thoughts once again inevitably drifting to Dawson.

It had always been one of her greatest fears growing up, that as they got older, they would change to the point Dawson would no longer want or even need her friendship as much. That the place she held in his life would become less important, or worse yet, obsolete. Shed seen the initial signs of these changes in him when Jen had first arrived on the scene last year, and that was the first time Joey got a real glimpse of just how powerless she was to stop it all.

She was the one always telling him, warning him, that change was inevitable, but she had been the one who couldnt deal with it when it actually happened, even though she was watching it happen right in front of her.

She couldnt even begin to imagine the changes Dawson would experience in this time away, changes that she would never be witness to and never get a chance to share in. How different would things be between them when he returned home at the end of the summer?

Would it ever be the same? Or had their relationship finally changed for good, and forever, no matter how much shed wanted to hold on to what it once was.

Sighing, she turned to pick up the coffee shed previously abandoned, the loud buzz of the lawnmower pulling her from her thoughts. Joey tilted her head to peek out the window once again, acknowledging that Pacey was sort of looking tan and muscular in this morning light.

But, of course he was going to be sporting a good tan by now, when he was out in the summer sun almost every day. He didnt have the kind of skin that burned easily. And it just stands to reason that when one is employed in a manual labor job, theyre probably going to develop some good muscle definition. And, okay, maybe it was true that Pacey already had sort of a nice build, with his height and the fact he had those broad shoulders and

Waitwhat in the hell was she doing?

Shaking her head in mortification, she hurried away from the kitchen, deciding that maybe she was the one who needed to go lie back down, since she was obviously becoming delusional from sleep depravation.





The sunset stained the sky, leaving ripples of color and light playing across the surface of the creek, as Joey stepped out of the house, letting the rackety screen door swing shut behind her.

She crossed the short distance to where Bessie was sitting with Pacey, passing him the bottle of hot sauce hed requested as she took her seat at the picnic table to sprinkle her slice of pizza with the grated parmesan cheese shed grabbed for herself.

The temperatures were still holding strong in the nineties, even at this time of day, creating an oven-like atmosphere inside the tiny, cramped house, so theyd decided to eat outside in the hopes of catching some relief from the breezes blowing in off the water.

Pacey had happened by the marina in his truck again just as her shift was ending this afternoon, and had offered her a ride home. She, in turn, invited him over for dinner, wanting to do something to express her gratitude for this morning, especially since hed taken off nearly as soon as he was done mowing the lawn.

And, since she was in receipt of her first paycheck and it was far too hot to cook, theyd stopped for pizza on their way, arguing and bickering over what to order once they got there for a solid fifteen minutes before deciding to go half and half on the toppings.

Bessie was now furrowing her brow skeptically as she gazed across the picnic table at Paceys choice of pepperoni, onions, some things that appeared to be pineapples and a few other assorted items that she couldnt quite determine to be meat or vegetableor something else altogether.

That looks like a really disgusting combination. She commented dryly, and with Potter-style tact.

He frowned as he chewed. So keep your eyes on your own side of the pie, woman.

I want to, she replied, shaking her head in mild dismay. But I justcantlook away.

Oh, really? Pacey arched an eyebrow as he finished chewing, dropping the slice back onto his paper plate to reach for the small bowl of sliced bananas and applesauce Alexander had left behind when she took him in to bed. Scooping some of the dessert mush onto his pizza, he then topped it off with several splashes of hot sauce before glancing back up at Bessie with a sly grin. How bout now?

Bessies mouth fell open with an amused gasp. Oh, please tell me you are not going to eat that!

But he only lifted in to his mouth, holding her gaze to take a huge bite, smiling widely as he chewed.

UghPacey! Joey rolled her eyes in disgust, shoving his arm from where she sat next to him.

That is so gross. Bessie groaned, but still laughed with him.

Suddenly she hesitated, tilting her head to narrow her eyes, and Joey also caught the faint, distant sound of Alexander crying on the summer evening breezes.

Sounds like theyre playing my song, Bessie smirked over at them both before pushing herself up from the picnic table and starting towards the house. You guys need anything while Im in there?

Yes. Joey threw Pacey a look, her eyes drifting over him as he continued to eat, parts and pieces of toppings sliding off onto his plate, and onto him. I think he could use some table manners.

And do you keep personalities on stock? Pacey queried as swiped at the corner of his mouth. Because your sister here could really benefit from a new one.

Bessie only rolled her eyes before disappearing into the house, causing them both to laugh lightly.

It takes forever to get him to go to sleep lately. Joey sighed, having immediately dropped the antagonistic tone shed used with him only seconds before.

Pacey chuckled as he reached for a napkin to wipe his hands. Well, I have to say I feel for the little guy. I can still remember how hard that was as kid, to have to go to up to bed in the summer when it was still light outside. Especially being the youngest. I always felt like I was missing out on something.

Joey smiled thoughtfully, turning to gaze out at the creek as she mused. Hmmand remember the summers when we got a little older, how we would play out in Dawsons yard until 8:00, sometimes even 9:00 at night

Until the stars came out. He finished for her as he raised another slice of pizza to his mouth.

Joey quickly turned to stare at him with dark, questioning eyes, her face falling.

Pacey seemed to hesitate as he swallowed, staring back at her uncertainly.

Thats what your mother would tell you, right? He offered in a small, tentative voice as he furrowed his brow almost apologetically. I remember you always saying you had to get home before the stars came out.

Yeah. Joey let out a release of breath, her features softening into a smile. Yeah, she did used to say that.

She then narrowed her eyes with a faint smirk to regard him, a hint of surprise in her tone. Weve known each other a long time, havent we, Pacey?

Longer than Ill admit to, thats for damn sure. Pacey dropped his head with an amused grin, his gaze falling on the bowl of bananas and applesauce as he grimaced and touched his hand to his stomach. Between you and me? That was just nasty.

Joey shook her head with a small laugh before returning her attention to her own meal.

She was quiet for a long moment, casting her eyes down to pick absently at a wayward piece of pepperoni that had ended up on her side, before she lifted her gaze.

So, tell me the truth. She sighed with some resignation as she watched him for a reaction. Have you talked to him?

Nope. Not since before he left. Pacey replied without hesitation, taking a swig of root beer to wash his pizza down and swallowing before he continued with a shrug. But I imagine it would be pretty easy to get his number in Philadelphia from Mitch.

About as easy as it is just to dial mine. She murmured as she arched an eyebrow.

He may not think thats what you want. Pacey offered with another shrug. To hear from him right now. You did sort of leave off that way, after all. He reminded her gently.

Joey shook her head, reaching up to brush her hair back off her forehead as she gazed out at the light fading over the water, admitting softly, I dont even know what I want right now.

I know. He replied without missing a beat. You just want him to know what you want.

Joey turned slowly to shoot him a smirk.

Admit it. Pacey laughed as he gestured with his hands. Most girls expect guys to be able to read their minds.

She narrowed her eyes to slits. And can you read my mind right now, Pacey?

Pacey squinted his eyes as he pretended to study her intently, slowing chewing a bite of pizza before he mumbled around it in response.

You kiss your nephew with that mouth, Potter?

She only rolled her eyes in weary amusement.

I was so angry with him at the time. She sighed again as she lowered her eyes to the table. But I think what I was actually angry about was that hed been right about my fatherand I didnt want him to be right. But thats no reason to blame Dawson. She finished sadly.

Pacey was watching her with an unreadable expression on his face, but then he responded almost dismissively.

Eh, but I wouldnt worry about it too much. Im fairly certain the world has not seen the last of the Dawson and Joey show.

You make us sound like a cheap nightclub act. Joey smirked, quickly adding with a frown. Forget itdont bother to respond to that.

Pacey only smiled in quiet amusement as he finished eating his pizza.

Suddenly Joey reached down to slap at the side of her leg. Oh, greathere come the mosquitoes. She started throwing their discarded napkins and paper plates inside the now empty pizza box. We should go in before we get eaten alive out here.

Yeah, I think Im just going to hit the road. Pacey moved to stand, taking the pizza box and picking up the rest of the trash. I was actually going to try to call Andie tonight.

Oh. Joey hesitated, staring after him as he went over to dump it all in the covered trash barrel. Is that allowed?

Im not really sure. Pacey shrugged as he came back to stand in front of her, digging his keys out of his pocket to gaze down at them in his hand. I guess Ill find out.

Joeys face softened with some concern. This was the first time Pacey had brought up Andie in a while, and she felt bad that shed been so absorbed in her own problems that shed momentarily forgotten he had his own to deal with.

But she had to admit that every time she did stop to realize that fact, it made her feel an odd sort of kinship with him.

So, how have you been doing? She shrugged as she watched him carefully, reaching up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. I know you sort of had a lot on your plate these past couple of months.

No more than theyre serving around here, right? He glanced up to meet her eyes with a half grin.

She held his gaze a beat, smiling sadly in acknowledgement.

He then abruptly dropped his head, turning to go. Ill see ya, Joey.

Okay. She replied softly. See ya.

She slowly started towards the house, watching as he got into the Jeep to drive away.

Even though he rarely mentioned Andie these days, Joey knew it had to be on his mind. And, in her less oblivious moments, she could tell where his mind probably went whenever he fell into one of those uncharacteristic lapses of silence.

Despite the fact Pacey could grate on her nerves like no one else, she also knew he was someone she could talk to about Dawson, so she wished hed know that he could also talk to her. But, then again, she didnt want to make mistake of overestimating this tentative and shaky friendship they seemed to be forging as of late. Things between her and Pacey were very different than say, her and Jack. Or even her and Dawson, for that matter. Long, serious, heartfelt talks werent exactly their thing. Throwing insults and sarcastic barbs, sometimes even barely veiled threats? That was more her and Pacey.

Besides, she knew from all those years of hearing about his family issues from Dawson, while Pacey never showed any indication on the outside things might not be so great at home, that it was in his nature to go stoic, or play it off with humor. Joey firmly believed in whatever helps you get through in life, and she wouldnt want to ever infringe upon that where Pacey was concerned to put him on the spot or make him feel uncomfortable. Still, sometimes she wished she could just let him know she was here to lend an ear.

Joey stepped into the house, careful to be quiet in case Bessie had just gotten Alexander to sleep.

She also had to acknowledge that she could be mistaken in thinking she and Pacey were getting closer or putting to rest old animosities. Maybe he was only spending time with her because Dawson wasnt around. Maybe he only felt bad for her because hed been witness once again to her family life falling apart. Maybe she wasnt someone he would even want to talk to about his problems.

She poured herself a glass of water and sat down at the kitchen table, listening to the sounds of the crickets on the light breeze drifting in through the windows.

But hed sure been right about being alone.





Pacey tugged his t-shirt off over his head, flinging it in the general direction of his dirty laundry pile as he dropped down to lie on his bed with a weary sigh. Whenever he was home now, which wasnt often, hed just go straight up to his room, avoiding contact with his father at all costs. That way he wouldnt have to completely trade in that image of a man whod been kind and compassionate and sympathetic for that guy sitting down in the den. It was something Pacey wanted to hold onto for just a little while longer.

He tilted his head to gaze over at the cordless phone hed brought up with him, studying it where it sat on top of his dresser. Sometimes, he wished hed gotten to hear the conversation Andie had with his father that day.

Turning back to stare up at the ceiling, he lay there for a long while before he reached down to absently brush his hand back and forth over the prominent bulge in his shorts, a unconscious gesture that was almost one of reassurance. Sort of like a buck up, little camperonly directed towards his dick.

Shifting positions to rest his hand flat on his bare stomach, the tips of his fingers tucked into the waistband of his boxers, he frowned faintly as he continued to stare at his ceiling, feeling that familiar restlessness and faint sense of urgency slowly beginning to build and trying his best to squelch it.

He really, really needed to get laid.

Pacey wasnt quite sure if the teenage male body was physically equipped to be given sex on a regular basis, only to then suddenly and abruptly have it taken away. It was like giving a puppy a rubber ball to play with, and then holding it up in the air just out of his reach. It was just kind of mean, in his opinion. His somewhat frustrated opinion, to be more exact.

Of course, there was the guilt that came along with even thinking in these terms. After all, it could be construed as being just a tad selfish to be lamenting over the fact your physical needs were not being gratified, when your girlfriend was currently hospitalized and battling a mental health disease.

He loved Andie and would, of course, wait for as long as it took her to get well and get back to that place where they could be intimate again. He figured he had enough control over his raging hormones to at least be able to promise that much.

But still, he could admit that sexin general, nonspecific terms? It was something he definitely missed. And it was something he would definitely like to engage in again someday. Sooner rather than later would be preferable, but whatever.

He sighed tiredly as he turned his head to gaze out at the glimpses of twinkling stars he could see in the portions sky framed by the tree branches outside his window.

Smiling a little, he suddenly recalled the amused look on Joeys face during a story Bessie had been telling them earlier about something Alexander did. Pacey remembered it had been really nice to see her laughing like that with her sister after all the crap theyd been through.

Waitwhat the hell kind of segue in his thought processes was that? From his sexual needs to Joey Potter?

Yet Pacey still couldnt help but smirk in mild amusement, imagining what her reaction would be to hear that, the shock and horror and moral outrage. For a minute he entertained the idea of actually telling her, and making it sound worse than it was, just because she was so easy and the reaction would be so priceless, but then he realized he and Joey just did not go there.

There had been a part of him tonight, however, that really wanted to open up to her when shed asked how he was doing, feeling like maybe shed understand what hed been feeling since Andie had been gone. It had been the first time he really wanted to talk about it.

Jack, of course, was always there as a sympathetic shoulder to lean on, and Pacey considered him to be a good friend by this point, but sometimes he felt like admitting all the things hed really been feeling to Jack would present a unique sort of conflict of interest in this particular situation. Then there was Jen, who had always played a sort of confidante role to him. But, in all truthfulness, Pacey felt like she had enough of her own crosses to bear this past year and he almost felt like shed be too fragile right now to take on the burden of listening to his problems, too. Besides, she and Jack were inseparable as of late, with him living at her grandmothers house. Pacey could talk to them both at length about all his hopes and well-wishes for Andies recovery, of course, but anything else beyond that just didnt quite feel right to him under the circumstances.

He supposed one could assume Dawsons absentee status would remove him as Paceys most obvious choice in ears to bend, but that wasnt necessarily how Pacey saw it.

Knowing your closest buddy, your compadre, your life-long pal, possibly felt the best part of your friendship was how you made him feel good about his life only because yours was so comparatively shitty? Well, despite the fact Pacey decided to let it go at the time, lets just say thatsince then? He hadnt exactly felt like running to Dawson with his problems, nor did he feel like jumping at the chance to be forthcoming with him about his inner feelings.

There was just something about Joey, however, that made him feel like he couldnt keep up the faade around her. Made him feel like he didnt want to, actually. Putting on a happy face when youre miserable inside could be very exhausting, and ultimately only made Pacey feel like a fake. Yet he also didnt see how wallowing in his own self-pity could ever be a preferable option. Seemed to him it would only be more defeating.

But that Potter girl seemed to have some sort of built-in bullshit radar where he was concerned, and whenever he was with her, he was struck with the annoying urge to be completely open and honest, which only forced him to keep up the endless back-and-forth volley of sarcastic banter instead.

Maybe theyd known each other too long. Maybe theyd been nicked and scratched through life in similar ways. All he knew that every so often hed catch something in those eyes of hers that somehow reassured him she would get it, and he felt some of that undefined restlessness and nagging tension start to dissipate, setting him at ease by simply being in her proximity.

Which was kind of funny, if you thought about, considering proximity to one another had been something they both seemed to be totally adverse to for as long as he could remember.

He pushed off the bed with another sigh to grab the phone, picking up the scrap of paper next to it to punch out the number Jack had given him the other day.

His heart was pounding against his chest wall as he listened to the distant ring, his throat tightening, but Pacey didnt really know what he had to be so nervous or anxious about. It was only a phone call.

Finally someone picked up, answering with the name of the facility, but Pacey almost had a hard time hearing it over the blood rushing through his ears.

Ah, yeah, he cleared his throat as he lowered his eyes to the floor. Id like to speak with a patient, please. AndieI mean, AndreaAndrea McPhee.

Im sorry, sir, but visiting hours end promptly at 8:00 pm and we do not accept personal phone calls into the patient wards after that time.

Um, well, its only like 8:30, right? Pacey chuckled hollowly with a weak attempt at charm. Its not that late, is it? And, I know shes probably still awake, so

Again, visiting hours ended at 8:00. The woman on the other end of the line cut him off abruptly. They begin again tomorrow at 11:30 am.

Yeah, but

Thank you.

Pacey pulled the phone away from his ear to scowl at it, realizing hed just been hung up on.

Clicking it off to toss it aside, he furrowed his brow as he stared absently into space. It bothered him to realize that some nameless, faceless stranger had the power to decide whether or not they were allowed to talk, someone who had no idea who he was or what they were to each other.

He dropped his head back onto his pillow with a heavy sigh, staring at his ceiling again.

It wasnt that long ago that Andie was lying here with him, but the total and complete lack of contact lately almost made that seem like it was another lifetime. Pacey wanted so badly to talk to her, to hear her voice, but then had to come to the sad realization that he really wouldnt have known what to say. And that scared him.

He had to admit that what he missed even more than the sex was that sense of being connected to someone else. Like in the moments just afterwards, how Andie would always snuggle her head into the crook of his neck, pressing her body to his with a contented sigh. Moments like that, when you could be left so vulnerable and exposed, yet the connection extends beyond the physical, and you find a sort of comfort, a sort of home, in just being close to another person. Thats the thing Pacey wanted to feel again. That was what he was so afraid of losing, and never getting back.

Because, while all he wanted was what was best for Andie, he couldnt help but wonder in what ways and to what degree she might change in this time apart, considering all the things she was going to experience that he could not be a part of.

Pacey also wondered if, and how, this time and experience might change him.

And why sometimes he felt like that had already started to happen.





When Joey heard the alarm clock next to her head go off, she was almost sure she must have been dreaming. Or rather trapped in the throes of some horrible nightmare. Morning couldnt possibly be here already, when she felt like shed only just closed her eyes to sleep.

Even though she brought out a small fan to aim it directly at her body, the level of humidity in the air was close to oppressive, and shed tossed and turned uncomfortably for hours last night before she finally drifted off from sheer exhaustion. And now it was time to get up.

She pulled herself up to sit, pushing the hair back off her face, and felt a small stab of pain in her shoulder with the movement, a muscle shed pulled yesterday while hauling a heavy fuel can out to one of the boat customers.

Sighing as she reached up to rub at the spot, she got up to head towards the shower, feeling the stickiness from last night still lingering in the air. Peeking out the bathroom window, she saw that the skies were overcast, dark clouds accumulating on the horizon.

She showered as quickly as possible, feeling like she might fall asleep again if she stood too long under the relaxing, pulsating spray of water, and grimaced as she got dressed, realizing that she was already starting to perspire in the damp heat.

Dropping onto the couch to tie her tennis sneakers, she glanced up at her sisters closed bedroom door. Sometimes if she was awake with Alexander, shed give Joey a ride down to the marina, but today was one of those rare occasions her nephew seemed to be sleeping in. Which meant Bessie got to sleep in. Which meant Joey was on her own.

She slipped the Logan Marina uniform shirt on over a tank top, which seemed to smell of diesel fuel no matter how many times she washed it, and headed towards the door, realizing that she was probably going to have to jog part of the way if she wanted to get there on time, so stopping for a bagel or coffee was out of the question. She didnt want to give Rob Logan any ammunition to use against her today. She just wasnt in the mood for it.

Stepping outside, her shoulders slumped to realize that the skies had the potential to open up with rain at any moment, and she was most likely going to get caught in a downpour on her way.

Taking a deep breath as she started down the front steps, she suddenly heard the sound of gravel crunching under tires and glanced up to see Pacey pulling into her driveway.

She stopped short, almost startled to see him out and about this early in the morning, but then crossed the yard to pull open the passenger side door as he lifted his hand in a small wave of greeting.

Hey. She climbed up into the seat, wrinkling her forehead curiously. What are you doing here?

I had to be in work early today, so I figured Id swing by and see if you needed a ride. He shrugged with a yawn, looking very much like hed just rolled out of bed.

Yeah. She raised her eyebrows appreciatively as she closed the door and he went to pull back out onto the street. Thanks.

You want coffee? He barely glanced over at her, his rough voice sounding deeper than usual as he rubbed at one eye with the palm of his hand. Because I definitely need to stop for coffee.

Coffee sounds perfect. She sighed, relaxing back into her seat.

They drove without speaking for a few moments until he glanced back over at her.

So, what are your plans tonight?

To go back to sleep. She muttered tiredly.

Pacey made a noise that sound like the buzzer in a game show, although with a little less enthusiasm than hed usually employ in his attempts at humor. Ehhhwrong! Tonight youre going to the movies.

I am? She lifted an eyebrow with a sarcastic murmur.

Yep. He assured her confidently. Because, as Im sure you are aware, summer is upon us, and that only means one thing. And do you know what that is, Josephine?

The suns rotational axis perpendicular to the Earth's orbital plane has the northern hemisphere tilted towards its rays?

Nope! He raised a finger in the air. It means that its time once again for Will Smith to save the universe.

Joey only rolled her eyes, tilting her head to gaze out the window at the passing scenery.

Hey, there will be no eye rolling, Pacey admonished her. This is the Pacey Witter movie experience were talking about, which is far different from that which you may be used to. There will be no dissertations to follow on themes or metaphors or subtext. There will be no drawn out analysis of the filmmakers intent or the directors choice of lighting. There will simply be lots and lots of things blowing up, air-conditioned seating and industrial-sized vats of greasy, salty popcorn to be washed down with flat soda.

Joey considered this a long moment before tilting her head back towards him to ask quietly, What about Raisinettes?

Pacey squinted his eyes as he contemplated this. That could be negotiable.

She only shrugged and sort of nodded her head in acquiescence.

He continued to drive, leaning over after a moment to adjust the volume on the radio as he threw her a look.

Raisinettes, huh? I always preferred Goobers myself.

Well, as they say, she drawled. You are what you eat.

He leaned back, chuckling as he adjusted his position in his seat.

In that case, Id figure your candy of choice would be something more along the lines of Sour Patch Kids.

Hmm She turned to regard him. And I see you more as a Milk Dud kind of guy. Emphasis on the dud, of course.

No, I assure you, He grinned slowly. I am both Good and Plenty.

Oh, please She groaned, turning away again.

Cmon... He laughed with a shrug of his shoulder. You had to have seen that one comin, Potter.

I just woke up. She frowned, mumbling defensively. My mind isnt set to Pacey yet.

And where, pray tell, would the Pacey setting be exactly? He rested one hand on the steering wheel to watch her expectantly, furrowing his brow in confusion.

Somewhere right around the portion of my brain that allows me to discuss poop at length with Alexander and still laugh at reruns of The Simpsons Ive seen a hundred times. She shrugged.

He nodded his head slowly as he absorbed this information.

You know what? He shrugged as well as he turned his eyes back to the road. I think Im oddly okay with that.

Neither one said anything for another minute until he glanced out his window to yawn again. Looks like were gonna get some rain.

Yeahlooks that way, Joey murmured in response.

But, as she glanced out the truck window as well, peering up at the gray and gloomy skies above, she found herself smiling for the first time since shed woken up that morning.

The summer sun glowed in the pale blue sky, outlined by a shimmering ring of heat in the haze and humidity of the day. Joey lifted her hand to push her hair back off her forehead, dotted with tiny beads of perspiration, trying to then tuck the damp tendrils stuck to her neck back up into her ponytail clip, squinting tiredly over at Pacey in the glare.

He, on the other hand, appeared unaffected by the sweltering temperatures as he hummed some crazy, indistinguishable tune under his breath, every so often pausing his unhinged melody to exchange a few pleasantries with local people he knew as they passed by.

You sure you dont want one? He glanced back at her where she was leaning against a dock piling, waiting for him.

You sure you do? She called back in faint irritation.

He was currently ten people deep in line for one of the freshly-squeezed lemonades at Sea Smoothies, a pushcart frozen drink vendor whod set up shop on the pier near the marina. The drinks were actually very good, as they made them all to order with real fruit, but at four bucks for a medium sized cup, Joey was perfectly happy to wait until she got back to the water cooler at the marina offices.

Is that one of those rhetorical questions? He countered, a grin hovering around the corners of his mouth.

She only rolled her eyes in response, noticing other people in line glancing between them with faint traces of amusement at their exchange.

Finally the line made a surge forward and Pacey was able to place his drink order, walking over to join her a few moments later and easily falling in step beside her as she started in the direction of the marina.

So, Jack and Jen want us all to get together on Friday night, He mumbled around his straw. They figured we could meet at The Rockfishget a bite to eat or whatever. I told them Id talk to you. He paused to glance at her. You up for that?

Joey shrugged, looking off towards the harbor. I dont know.

Cmon, he urged her. Itll be fun.

She turned to throw him a sly sideways grin. So youre not going to be there, then?

Pacey tossed his head back to let out a quiet shout of comically feigned laughter.

Hah! If thats the way its gonna be, Ill make you a deal, Potter. He tilted his gaze towards her with a smirk. I promise not to speak to you, or even acknowledge you, if youll just do the same for me.

Id be more than happy to ignore you, Pacey, She assured him with exaggerated geniality. You dont even have to ask.

Oh, no, trust me, he returned the sentiment graciously, the pleasure is all mine.

She couldnt help but let out a small laugh, and he chuckled as well, returning his attention to his frozen lemonade.

Pacey? Hey!

They both glanced up to see a scantily-clad female approaching them at a brisk pace, the sun bouncing off the copper and gold highlights in her shiny auburn hair, her wide, perfectly white smile offset by her lightly bronzed skin and the light raspberry shade of her lipstick.

Ohhey, Allison.

Joey thought she detected a small, strange squeak in Paceys voice as he returned the greeting, almost as if his air supply had been cut off somewhere. Or maybe it was just all the oxygen in his blood was now rushing southward.

She arched an eyebrow, her gaze discreetly drifting up the long lines of her toned legs as she grew closer, to the shorts that barely covered the round curve of her ass, the exposed slope of her tanned abdomen, all the way up to her globe-like breasts, expanding the material of her tiny athletic top in a manner that defied all reasonable laws of gravity.

Are you on your lunch break now? Allison let out a small, breathless sigh as she reached them, resting her hand on Paceys arm as she leaned towards him with a playful lilt to her words. Or just playing hooky?

No, nolunch. He chuckled a little too loud and a little too long in response to be genuine, so that Joey was forced to roll her eyes at his display.

We just grabbed some take-out from the Sand Bar. He explained.

The we must have tipped her off that Joey wasnt merely standing there to catch some rays and eavesdrop, and Allison finally turned her smile on her, her voice sounding pleasant enough, but Joey noticed her gaze narrow as it drifted over her from under dark tufts of mascara that passed for eyelashes.

Oh, and is this your girlfriend?

Pacey nearly choked on his lemonade.

My girno, no, no. He recovered to drop his head with another chuckle.

There cant be enough nos, Joey murmured in sardonic agreement under her breath.

This is Joey Pottermy friend, Joey. He specified as he gestured in her general direction before actually turning towards her. Allison works the service desk at the mechanics shop.

Nice to meet you. Allison extended a hand.

You, too. Joeys smile tightened with the grip of her handshake.

Well, Id better get going. She stepped away, squinting in the bright sunshine. I try to get in at least a two-mile walk on my lunch hour every day.

Oh, good for you. Pacey congratulated her as if shed just told him she won the Nobel Peace Prize instead of improved her aerobic conditioning.

Ill see you back there. She lifted her hand in the flutter of a wave, glancing at Joey as she departed. Bye.

See ya. Pacey smiled after her.

Joey opted to only return the farewell wave, though she forced a smile, but that quickly faded as she glanced over at Pacey to see his gaze still lingering.

Moving away with a weary roll of her eyes, she shook her head to mutter, Just when I thought there was some hope for you...

What? He exclaimed defensively, throwing a hand up in the air as he followed after her. Im not supposed to notice when someone is that well put together? Dont worry he assured her as he reached her side and they continued walking, It has nothing to do with my feelings for Andie. Im just appreciative of the natural scenery, if you will.

Joey smirked, mumbling under her breath. Looks more like paint-by-numbers to me.

Excuse me?

Nothing. She shook her head dismissively, pausing a moment before she glanced over at him to ask, Is that really what guys want? Someone soso She struggled to find the word, settling on one close to what she actually meant, Obvious?

I didnt say I wanted her! Paceys voice rose in exasperation. I simply

I know, I know. She cut him off with a frown to explain in a more muted tone, Im just asking in general. What most guys wantI mean she began to gesture with her hands, as if to catch her words as they tumbled precariously out of her mouth. Thats what is considered sexy, right? Her outfit andand everything?

No, not necessarily. Pacey furrowed his brow, calmer now as he seemed to give her question some serious consideration, finally realizing she wasnt just being difficult.

Despite the fact I know youd love to lump us all under the category heading of lecherous horndogs with one-track minds, he chuckled as he continued, Every guy is different. For a lot of guys? He raised his eyebrows as he motioned in the direction in which Allison had gone. Yeah, that might be exactly what does it for them. But for others, it can be something a lot more simplethe way a girl laughs or smiles, for example, little things she does, habits she has His voice was softening with something undefined before his words trailed off and he quickly cleared his throat and shook his head to finish abruptly. Stuff like that.

Guys notice things like a girls sense of fashion a lot less than you might imagine. He glanced over at her with a small smile, gesturing with the lemonade in his hand as they continued to stroll along the pier. I mean, you have to admit Andie dresses pretty conservatively, yet the clothes she was wearing had nothing to do with the fact I was attracted to her.

Joey offered a reluctant smile in return, acknowledging that it was a rather sweet sentiment on his part.

Because, under all that, he sighed dramatically, I could still tell she had a great rack.

Joey stopped short, her mouth falling open before she scowled at him to continue walking.

Youre disgusting.

What? He laughed as he held his hands up in a gesture of innocence, watching her start to storm away. You asked!

I know. Its my own fault. She muttered. I was under the mistaken assumption I was talking to another human being.

Okay, okayyou want to know the truth? Pacey caught up to her again, resting his hand on her arm just briefly as he spoke in more conspiratorial tones. And dont tell anyone you heard it from me, because Im breaking all kinds of male codes of honor here, butevery girl has the power to reduce a guy to putty in her hands, should she choose to use it.

Because for the teenage male species? He glanced over to watch her face. The mere fact a pretty girl throws even a remote amount of kindness or interest their way could prove to be the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world. He touched his hand to his chest in a gesture of capitulation. Sad, but true.

And, I know you may not believe this, he chuckled softly as he continued, But guys are capable of having feelings, too. And if you have feelings for a girlwell, just her saying your name in a certain way or doing something as innocent as resting her head on your shoulder? Those can become the most amazingly sexy things, and just completely wreck youif its the right person, of course. Trust me, for a female of the persuasion such as yourself, he raised his eyebrows, There is relatively little effort that needs to be involved.

Slowing to a stop as they reached the boardwalk, he turned to face her, placing his hand on her shoulder as he lowered his voice solemnly.

So, rememberuse your power for good, not evil.

She smirked, shaking her head as she move to go. Ill see ya, Pacey.

Okay. He chuckled a little under his breath before calling after her. Oh, and Joey?

She turned around with an expectant smile.

Should you run into one of those other kind of guys? He called out. The ones with the one-track minds?

Yeah? Her forehead wrinkled with mild confusion.

Hey, then look at this way, he shrugged with a slow grin, motioning with the lemonade still in his hand towards the general vicinity of her breasts. Your powers just increased two-fold.

She stared at him, her eyes narrowing menacingly.

I hope you choke on an errant lemon rind, or a seed lodges in your esophagus to asphyxiate you...and that its an excruciatingly slow and painful death.

With that, she abruptly turned to go, trying not to even acknowledge the sound of his laughter departing on the wind, and trying even harder not to smile in spite of herself.





Pushing through the door of Screen Play to emerge out onto the sidewalk, Pacey was met by a rush of warm evening air. There was only a faint wind blowing in off the harbor, ruffling the storefront awnings, carrying with it the muffled sounds of music and low murmurs of conversations from all the bars and restaurants in this neighborhood, full to capacity on a Saturday night at the height of the summer season.

There hadnt been many people in looking to rent videos this evening. A few families with young kids wanting the latest animated release and then a couple trying to agree on what film constituted appropriate date night viewing, their back and forth bickering eliciting a small, sad smile from him as he pretended to busy himself with cataloging returns, reminding him a little of his own former date nights. But that was it for customers. He supposed the majority of townsfolk werent interested in hunkering down in front of their televisions on a night like tonight, and were out and about enjoying the near perfect weather instead.

Many of them were leisurely strolling along this very sidewalk as he made his way towards the Wagoneer parked at the end of the block, some gazing into the windows of shops and galleries as they drifted in the direction of the pier, the bronze of summer tans offset by their crisp linen whites. Others hurried by as if on a mission, probably en route to dinner or meetings friends for drinks, the buzz of excitement evident in their animated conversations punctuated with bursts of laughter.

He felt like there was almost something tangible in the air on nights like this, with balmy breezes whispering through the trees, the sky lit up with stars, awash in the glow of the moon. Maybe it was that recall back to childhood, when a summer night seemed almost magical, full of boundless possibilities that the structure and regimen of the school year, the sleepy hibernation state of winter, didnt allow for. It was as if you could almost sense some strange electrical charge in the wind, filling you with this undefined, yet undeniable sense of anticipation, a restlessness bordering on longing.

Almost like you knew there was something amazing out there waiting for you, but you had no idea what it was.

He had just dug his keys out of his pocket, aimlessly wondering if it would be too late to swing by Joeys house to see what she was doing tonight, when he glanced up to see a Capeside police cruiser pull up to the curb behind the Jeep, and his shoulders almost involuntarily slumped, the wind immediately taken from his sails.

Hey, little brother Doug opened the drivers side door to climb out of the seat, his usual smirking tone edged in something else, a faint weariness to his voice. You just getting out of work?

Yeah, Pacey narrowed his eyes curiously. Whats going on?

I, ahI got a call from Mom. Doug dropped his head, lowering his voice to a more discreet level as he approached him, since he was unable to help but draw at least one or two curious glances his way while standing there in uniform. She needs you to go pick up Dad.

What? Pacey furrowed his brow in confusion, and a certain amount of irritation. Why me? Where is he?

Bass River Anglers Club. They had their annual striper tournament today. Doug shrugged before placing his hands on his hips as he cocked his head to the side. Hes apparently been down there all afternoon.

Greatjust great, Pacey muttered, needing no further explanation as he shook his head in near disgust before glancing over sharply at his brother. So, why dont you go get him? No room in the drunk tank tonight?

Doug only looked away with a tired sigh. Im working until midnight. I told her Id find you and send you over there. I really dont want her to have to be sitting at home worrying.

Pacey also sighed in resignation as he lowered his gaze to the ground, reaching up to pinch at the bridge of his nose as he felt a tight strain, the beginnings of a headache.

Fine, he replied in defeat. Ill go now.

Doug reached out to pat him just once on the shoulder before he turned away without a goodbye, and Pacey only lifted his dark eyes to stare after him a moment before yanking open the door of the Wagoneer to climb in and get behind the wheel.

He pulled away from the curb, making his way through weekend traffic clogging the downtown area, the quaint shops and restaurants and art galleries gradually disappearing behind him as he picked up speed.

Rolling the windows down, he took a deep gulp of ocean air as he finally emerged out onto the road by the public beach, the sculpted dunes and scrub pines flying by in his periphery as he focused on the thin milky-white line of the moon reflected in the dark ripples of tide.

Before he knew it, he was swinging into the parking lot of the Anglers Club, the floodlight mounted on the side of the building illuminating the huge wood-carved blue fin tuna mounted over the front doors.

There were a few guys smoking cigarettes on the outside deck as he trudged up the stairs, the glow of red embers like tiny beacons in the darkness, and he could overhear their muted conversations, but he made sure to keep his head low to avoid being recognized. Following a direct path over to the bartender once he got inside, he only met his eyes with a silent nod of his head over the noisy din of the function room.

The bartender, in turn, merely pointed towards the tables in back, and Pacey made his way through the crowd to find his father holding court at one of them, telling some joke to the group of men gathered around him.

He stepped into their midst, lifting his hand awkwardly to get his fathers attention.

Hey, Pop.

His father paused, the sort of delayed, slightly confused, slow motion reaction youd expect of someone whod probably been drinking the better part of the day away, and then turned to look over at him with a blank expression.

Knowing he probably didnt even recognize him right now, Pacey only brushed it off, moving forward to squeeze around the edge of the table.

What dya say we get you home now, huh?

Well, look who we have here!

The slow grin of familiarity spread across his fathers face, rough with razor stubble, a days worth of beard. He reached up to pat Pacey on the arm he was extending with the intention of helping him up, but then grasped at him, trying to pull him down into the closest available seat instead.

You here to have a beer with your old man? He guffawed, more of a joke for the benefit of his drinking buddies than an actual invitation.

Pacey smiled tiredly and let out a sound similar to a chuckle, but not quite.

Yeah, ah, rightmaybe some other time. We should probably get him now, dont you think? Moms gonna be wondering where we are.

Aw, jees His fathers shoulder shook with rumbles of laughter, the others around him joining in. Shes sending out the troops to round me up, huh? Is it that time already?

He pushed himself up out of his seat then, losing his balance almost immediately when he reached a standing position so that he tipped and lurched to the side, but Pacey quickly grabbed his arm to right him.

All right, fellascarry on, he saluted the men still sitting there as they called out their own farewells, letting Pacey guide him towards the doors with relatively little trouble.

Until they got outside, that is, and he suddenly felt the need to become uncooperative and nearly belligerent as Pacey tried to get him down the front stairs and over to the Wagoneer with as little as commotion as possible, already having acquired a small audience of those still standing out on the deck, and not needing to draw any further attention their way.

Although part of Pacey would have been happy to just leave him there, practically legless, to fend for himselfembarrass himselfdrink himself into oblivion for all he cared.

His fathers weight was resting so heavily on him by the time Pacey got to the passenger side door that he had to practically hoist and heave him up into his seat. Crossing around the front of the truck to the drivers side, he climbed behind the wheel, letting out a noisy release of breath as he pulled out of the parking lot to head home.

This had previously been Dougs job, the few times a year it became necessary to go and escort their father home from whatever local watering hole hed ended up in with his fishing buddies. Of course, the fact his father sang Dougs praises on a daily basis probably made it a little easier for him to take on that particular duty. Pacey knew the chances of his father even remembering this next time he started in on him were slim to none.

John Witter didnt usually drink heavily at any public social events, at least not to the point where there was the potential for him to make a spectacle of himself. Places like the Anglers Club were another story, however. Sort of like the Vegas of Capeside, Pacey musedwhatever happened there, stayed there. Since it didnt escape his attention that the majority of the other inebriated patrons in his fathers company pretty much made up the Town Council and Assessors office.

His father was slumping in his seat, swaying dangerously close to passing out as Pacey turned into their driveway and hit that familiar dip in the road. He let out another weary sigh as he threw the Jeep into park and cut the engine, climbing out of the drivers seat to go around and get him out to lead him into the house.

Cmon, Pop. He murmured quietly, his jaw tightening with irritation, his movements stiff and tense as he attempted to assist him out of the seat, slinging his arm over his back to help him up the steps to the front door.

Rounding the front of the truck, Pacey glanced up when he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye, his face falling in dismay as he stopped short to see that it was actually Joey walking across his yard to the front door.

Hey.

It was hard to see her face as she moved through the shadows, but then she finally stepped into the illumination of the porch light and, for a moment, all he could see was her eyes, round and dark and uncertain. And maybe just a little bit wary.

He-hey. He stammered in chagrin, his face feeling hot as he quickly and shamefully averted his gaze.

Growing up, his house had never been the kind of house you could just bring friends home to unannounced, because you never knew quite what you were going to get. What kind of mood his father would be in. Whether or not hed been drinking. Pacey would just never even take the chance, knowing that the end result would most likely be humiliation. The only variable would be to what degree.

His father grunted and snorted and grumbled nonsensically next to him, trying to move forward but not having much luck without Paceys assistance.

Herelet me get the door.

She was in motion then, nearly bounding up the front steps to open the door, and Pacey closed his eyes, letting out a silent, miserable sigh as he helped his father up the stairs and into the house, mumbling to her as they passed by.

Thanksjust give me a minute, okay?

Okay.





Joey shifted positions where she sat on the front steps of Paceys house, wrapping her arms around her bare knees as the wind started to take on just a slight chill.

It had been warm and balmy earlier, near perfect summer weather, as she sat on her own front steps, listening to the breeze whistling through the marsh grasses, the hum of the June bugs giving way to the songs of the crickets. It was a full moon, the stars shining down like diamonds, and Joey inhaled the sweet, sultry air, letting it fill her lungs to the point she felt like she was going to burst.

She wanted to go do something, anything, to calm these strange, restless urges seemingly brought on by the enticing lure of the summer night. Something wild, even reckless. To run as fast as she could through the damp grass until she was breathless, dive into the deep, dark ocean water and let it toss her aroundanything but sit still for even one minute, one second, longer.

Finally, she leapt up from the steps, her heart inexplicably doing a small flip inside her chest at the same time as she called in through the screen door to Bessie, telling her that she was going out for a little while, figuring maybe Pacey would be home from work by this point. He was usually up for doing something.

Shed seen the Wagoneer pulling into the driveway from a distance as she walked down his street, figuring that it was good timing on her part. One look at Paceys face when he saw her approaching, however, and she realized she couldnt have been more wrong.

It seemed so weird to think that the last time shed been here, she had come seeking help, comfort, guidance, and that Sheriff Witter had seemed to be her only hope. Hed seemed so strong and steadfast, so protective, so official that night. A reminder of everything that her own father was not.

Once again, she supposed she and Pacey had a lot more in common than shed ever realized.

She heard the door click open then, the creak and groan of the porch floorboards behind her, and she turned to smile up hesitantly at him.

So, um, he chuckled in a quiet, hollow voice as he rubbed his hand over his hair in nervous distraction, seeming to look everywhere but directly at her as he descended the steps to stand in the yard, Now that youve been witness to such a heartwarming father-son moment, ahwhats going on with you tonight?

The corner of her mouth tugged up responsively, feeling sort of foolish now, for a lot of different reasons, as she admitted, I was, umI was actually coming over to see if you felt like getting an ice cream or something.

Pacey laughed sadly again, looking away as he shrugged, Yeah, I think Ill have to take a rain check on that, if its all the same to you.

Of course, no problemI understand. I was just really bored tonight, so She fumbled her words a bit as she moved to stand up, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Im just going to go, then, I think.

Pacey finally looked directly at her, his brow furrowing in mild concern, as he seemed to hesitate.

Well, what are you doing? Are you just going home? Cause its getting latewhy dont you let me give you a ride?

Oh, no, no She gestured with her hand dismissively as she took a step away. Im fine walking. You dont have to do that.

He met her eyes through the darkness with a quietly desperate reasoning that Joey understood all too well.

I actually wouldnt mind the excuse to get out of here right now.

Joey nodded her head. Okay.

They walked over to the Jeep and he got her door, holding it open as she climbed in, before walking around to return to the drivers side. He slung his arm over the back of the seat as he maneuvered his way out of the driveway, only glancing over at her to speak when they were halfway down the block from his house.

Just so you knowhe doesnt drink like that every night. His voice dipped with a tilt of his head, a weakened attempt at humor. Just every chance he gets.

The corner of Joeys mouth curled up in a sad smile of acknowledgement.

Pacey shrugged, looking away as he mumbled in vague explanation, He was at some fishing tournament all day

She took the opportunity while his attention was on the road to let her eyes drift over him, her forehead creasing in mild concern.

Pacey, I certainly hope you dont think you have to be embarrassed or anything like that as far as Im concerned, she began in a soft, gentle tone before shrugging her shoulder carelessly. So, he overindulged a little. I mean, lets face itthats not exactly a crime. She threw him a confidential smirk. You want to feel better about your father, all you have to do is hold him up next to mine.

Paceys shoulders moved as if with a laugh, but he made no audible sound, only glancing over to meet her eyes again.

You know, its not even so much the drinking, its he cleared his throat with a concentrated frown, appearing to be struggling to find the words for a moment, Well, when I brought him in, and got him over to the couch to drop him there? He, ahhe sort of reached up to pat me on the head. His voice drifted off to a murmur. Said something about my sonthat I was one of the good ones.

Joey waited, watching him from her seat, sensing her was poised on the verge of telling her something important, and wanting him to know she was listening.

Im not quite sure how to explain it, he finally continued in a distant voice. But its almost like a part of me would rather never hear him say something like that sober, than have to listen to him say it when hes drunk. Its just such a jokeI dont know

He let out a long, weary sigh, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter.

Just one time, once in my life, I want him to look at mewith complete clarity and without someone else having to point it out to himand have it feel like he really sees me.

Having spent a good chunk of her young life imagining herself to be similarly invisible, Joey had to admit that, in this moment, she knew exactly how Pacey must feel.

And she felt for him.

I think some people she offered tentatively after a moment of quiet, well, they might have a hard time letting their loved ones know how much they mean to them. They might show it in strange ways, or keep it close to their heart, bottled up inside them, because they dont know how to express it.

But why? Pacey asked with a certain amount of quiet exasperation, lifting one hand from the wheel to gesture with it. Why does he have to be like that? What reason does he have to be such a hardass all the timein his own house?

Honestly? She shook her head morosely to admit, I dont know, Pacey.

They drove without talking for a few more moments, the only sound breaking the silence was the sigh he let out as he turned the wheel to pull into her driveway. Joey glanced over at her small house at he slowed to a stop, but made no move to get out.

Ive been thinking thatthe things we learn as we grow up? She lowered her eyes to stare down at her hands in her lap. Sometimes it feels like youre eagerly striving to find the answersto be let in on what seems to be some great secret, as if unlocking the key to a mystery. She lifted her gaze to him with a wry smile. And then there are the times where you realize you would have been perfectly happy remaining indefinitely in the dark.

There seemed to be just the shadow of a smile on Paceys face as he listened, but his eyes were unreadable in the shroud of night.

One thing Ive learned by this point is that people arent perfect, theyre all kind ofI dont knowbroken, I guessin different ways. Her hands fluttered up in a vague gesture as she continued. And, no matter how hard you might try or how desperately you might hope, you cant fix them. Just like I couldnt do anything to change the fact my mother was sick and not going to get better, I finally realized I also couldnt do anything about the fact my father fought a losing battle with his own personal demons.

And that is not to say that Im comparing your father to my father at all, Pacey, because its two totally different situations, she rushed to assure him, before her voice softened tentatively.

But still, I think there is a certain frailty in the human condition that doesnt reveal itself, or that were especially unable to recognize in our own parents, until we start to grow up. She paused to narrow her eyes thoughtfully, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she shrugged her shoulder. And I think maybe I just got a glimpse of it a little sooner than most.

Pausing momentarily, she turned in her seat so she could watch his face and lowered her voice with meaning.

So, Ive already had the time to come to terms with the fact that the things with my fatherthat they may be beyond my control, but more importantly, theyre not my fault.
See, I already stopped asking the whys of it all, Pacey, because I realized it doesnt have to be my burden to bear. The fact that people whom you love may have their problems, their issueswell, maybe theyll fix themselves, maybe they wont. I think all you can really do is keep on loving them in spite of it all. And remember the fact they may be brokenit doesnt have to break you.

She held his gaze evenly, the shine of the distant porch light reflected in his eyes as he stared back at her, and her voice dropped to a whisper then. A request. A plea.

So, dont let itokay?

Pacey only nodded his head slowly, and even though she couldnt really see his eyes, she thought she noticed something change in those dark blue depths all the same.

Or, maybe she just felt it change.

Turning away, she reached for the door handle, pushing it open to hop to the ground as she heard Pacey cough to clear his voice behind her.

Umdo you need a ride a work in the morning?

Ah, yeahsure. She shrugged as she glanced back at him. If youre going in early.

Yeah, Ill be by around 7:00.

Okay. She nodded her head as she closed the Jeep door.

Shed only taken a couple of steps towards the house when he called out through the open Jeep window.

Hey, Joey?

Glancing back expectantly, she thought she could faintly detect his smile in the pale light of the moon washing down over the yard and his Jeep.

Or, maybe it was just that she heard it in his voice.

Thanks.

She only smiled as well, standing there a moment to watch him pull away down the driveway before finally turning to go into the house.





Joey slipped outside, holding the screen door so it wouldnt slam on its hinges, and lowered herself to sit on the top step, gazing out at the ripples of sunset reflecting off the currents of the creek. She tilted her head, and could hear the gurgles of delight and soapy splashes of Alexander playing in the tub drifting out through the open bathroom window, but what she was actually listening for was the low murmur of her sisters voice as she spoke on the telephone inside.

It was a call from Bodie, and those had been few and far between these days. Joey hadnt wanted to ask about the apparent breakdown in their lines of communication. A part of her didnt want to know. The circle of people in her life had already grown far too small, and despite the lack of official status as recognized by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, in her heart, and in her home, Bodie was like an older brother to her. At times hed even been more of a father figure than the man who actually bore that title.

If she were going to lose him, too, shed rather not even know right now.

She heard the click of the door latch and glanced up uncertainly as Bessie came out of the house to join her on the steps, the warm glow of the setting sun illuminating her face but not lifting the shadows from her eyes.

Heywhat are you doing out here?

Going out to eat. Joey replied as she studied her, noticing in this close proximity that the corners of her eyes were red. Im waiting for Pacey to pick me up now, and were meeting Jack and Jen downtown. I thought I told you that?

Oh, right. Bessie nodded her head absently as she stared out at the creek. You did tell me that.

Joey felt her throat inexplicably tighten and had to swallow to ask, Hows Bodie?

Hes good. The corner of her sisters mouth twitched up, but her voice wavered.

Bess, are you okay? Joey frowned as her own voice softened in concern. Do you want me to stay home with you tonight?

No, no Bessie sighed, waving her hand in the air dismissively to assure her. Im just missing him a little bit, thats all. She patted her on the arm. You go have some fun with your friends. You deserve it.

Joey nodded reluctantly. Okay.

But I have to tell you, Bessie sort of laughed as she quickly swiped at the corner of her eye. It has been kind of nice for me to have my little sister home more these days. Usually I feel like I never see youwhen youre over the Leerys every night with Dawson. She reached up to stroke the back of Joeys long hair, twirling it between her fingers. Although I imagine youre probably missing him right about now, too, huh?

Joey only offered a half smile and a shrug in response, currently more concerned with, and affected by, the fact shed never realized her sister felt that way.

Since they were just kids, even before her own home life went to hell and it became her safe haven of sorts, Joey had always felt more comfortable going to Dawsons house rather than having him come here. For one thing, the Leery house always seemed like such a wonderful, fun place to her, full of love and comfort, seemingly endless supplies of snack foods and games. And, she always figured, if shed rather be at his house than at her own, then Dawson would probably feel the same way. It was just one of those things between them that was assumed. Never questioned.

She could also admit now that she was embarrassed a little by the differences in their lifestyles, how tiny and ramshackle her house looked, how shabby the furnishings here seemed after coming home from a day there. How there always seemed to be something slightly depressing in the air here that wasnt present at the Leerys. She sometimes wondered how it all looked through his eyes, and just how much the gritty edge of her reality encroached upon his perfect life.

Did he ever leave here and think how glad he was to be home?

His words to Pacey the night of his birthday party came back to haunt her every so often, not only because had she felt for Pacey in that moment, but also because she kind of wondered how much that drunken admission might apply to her.

Did Dawson ever feel better about his own life in comparing it to hers?

She also couldnt help but wonder how often Pacey thought about those words. Was he unaffected by things like that, or did he just choose not to show it?

She supposed that was the difference with Pacey, who seemed perfectly content to never leave the Potter abode. It kind of make her feel good to acknowledge, albeit in a weird way, that he seemed happy to just hang out here, to the point where he could play for hours with Alexander or joke and laugh with her sister Bessie in ways that Dawson had never done in the entire time shed known him. That Pacey looked upon her house as a home, in the best sense of the word. And that hed somehow helped her to see that way, too.

Maybe shed always been far too concerned about Dawsons opinions of her. Maybe it was that sense of being so preoccupied with what he was thinking that first made her realize shed started to confuse her thoughts and ideas with his. Maybe the reason shed felt like he partially invented her was because she had never been herself with him. Not entirely, anyway.

After all, how can you honestly be yourself with someone if youre more concerned with how they see you, than you are with how you see you?

Did he ever really see her at all?

Id better go check on him. Hes probably flooded the whole bathroom by now. Bessie stood up from the steps as they heard the sloshing and laughter from inside getting louder.

Joey nodded her head, tilting her smile up. I wont be late.

Bessie only smiled as well, then glanced up curiously in the direction of the thumping beat of music as Paceys Jeep suddenly pulled into the driveway, his hands pummeling the steering wheel as if drumming along to the rhythm.

God, hes such a goofball. How do you stand it? Bessie laughed good-naturedly, giving him a wave of greeting and shaking her head in amusement as she went back into the house.

Joey rolled her eyes with a weary laugh of her own, pushing up off the steps to walk over to the Wagoneer and climb into her seat.

Wait, wait Pacey shushed her as she opened her mouth to speak, in the midst of his best Keith Moon impression, minus the drug taking and property destruction, of course.

Can you please refrain from using my head as a cymbal? She murmured with a sigh, moving to fasten her seatbelt as they pulled out of the driveway.

No, but can I buy your Magic Bus? He grinned, only reaching over to turn the music up a notch louder.

They made their way downtown relatively quickly, noticing that a lot of people were still lingering down by the beach, jogging and strolling along the boardwalk, even with less than an hour of sunlight left in the day. The tourist invasion caught up with them as soon as they hit Main Street, but they were still lucky enough to find a vacant parking spot on the harbor side of the street, right across from the restaurant.

The Rockfish was a popular hot spot for the college-aged and twenty-something crowd, with open air seating on the roof deck, a tiki bar theme in the lounge and surfboards mounted on the bathroom stall doors. After a certain time, theyd clear out most of the tables from the restaurant floor and feature local reggae or blues bands, and the place would pack them in like sardines.

Sardines with proper ID indicating they were of legal age, that is.

But, at this hour, they were only seating for dinner, so legality was not an issue. And they still had access to all the many arcade games in the bar, which was a main attraction of the place for their under-aged peer group.

They stepped into the midst of people standing in the foyer waiting to be seated, needing a moment for their eyes to adjust after the bright glare of the setting sun in the sky outside. As she then started forward towards the hostess podium, Pacey grabbed her arm to stop her.

Cmonone game?

Joey let out a small sigh, but relented as she allowed him to guide her towards the bar.

Okay. Just one.

They by-passed all the video arcade and trivia games to make a direct line for the bright red bubble hockey table. Pacey assumed his position behind the Canadian team while Joey took control of America, rolling her eyes and glancing around in mild embarrassment as he insisted on singing along to the Canadian national anthem and making up his own words in regards as to how he was about to kick her ass.

They finally faced off, spinning the control knobs to maneuver their players around on the simulated ice, and Pacey almost instantly got a shot into the net.

She frowned, slightly perturbed, and glanced up at him as he shrugged.

Heydont hate the player, Jo. Hate the game.

Cant I just hate you both? She mumbled as she began to put a little more effort and concentration into it, finally scoring a goal of her own, the smile slowly spreading as she heard the electronic cheers of the imaginary crowd.

On her second goal, her smile was even wider, chanting a soft, teasing, USA, USA under her breath as the game continued, Pacey muttering some random grumbles from the other side of the table until he scored again.

They both looked up at each other across the bubble dome, pausing a moment to narrow their eyes in playful competition.

Scrambling to then get their men in position as the puck reappeared on the ice, Pacey took a slap shot that sent it flying across the whole table, slamming right into the net.

A-ha! He laughed triumphantly, but his face immediately fell as the hard plastic disc only hit the side to careen back out.

Hah! Joey laughed louder, pursing her lips as she animatedly worked her team. Oh, you are so going down, Witter.

They were so involved with the game by that time they didnt even notice Jack and Jen approaching until they were standing right there beside them.

Um...hey, guys.

They both looked up, laughing, to see Jen smiling at them quizzically.

We didnt even know you were here. She motioned towards the hostess waiting in the lobby. Theyre saving us a table but wont seat us until we have all our party members together.

Butbutwe just made sudden death overtime! Pacey protested.

We can finish this later, Joey shrugged, moving away from the table and glancing at him over her shoulder with a laugh as he pressed down the boooo. button in response.

He fell in step behind her as they all journeyed across the noisy and crowded restaurant floor, but when they reached their destination, the hostess who was their self-appointed tour guide frowned in concern.

Oh, sorry. It looks like they took one of the chairs away here. I dont know if you guys will all fit.

Joey saw there were two chairs on one side of the table and then one small bench mounted to the wall on the other side that looked like it was only meant as single seating.

Oh, Jack and I can both squish in here. This is fine, thanks. Jen waved her hand dismissively as she immediately dropped down to take one corner of the bench.

Joey took a chair along with Pacey as the hostess then walked away, and Jack slid onto the other side of the bench, laughing as Jen cuddled up close.

He doesnt mind a little forced intimacy. Do you, Jack?

Joey smiled accordingly as she picked a menu, watching them from across the table. It was plainly evident how close Jack and Jen had become in what seemed like such a short time.

She had to admit that a part of her had been missing the heart-to-hearts she and Jack had been able to still share even after the demise of their short-lived romance, the comfort level theyd achieved that allowed her to turn to him when she really needed someone to talk to.

Someone who wasnt Dawson.

She also had to admit shed been wondering if Jack missed their conversation as well, but it was pretty obvious now that Jen had sort of taken her place in that regard.

It was a realization that had an annoying ring of familiarity to it.

Pacey had immediately picked up his menu to only glance inside, placing it down just as quickly to announce. Thats it! Im getting the barbeque ribs.

Their waitress stopped by at that moment, offering them a rushed and breathless smile.

Ill be with you guys in just a minute, okay? She moved to go, but stopped short, taking a step back to inform them, Oh, and just to let you know? Were out of the ribs tonight.

Pacey dropped his head in defeat as she left, making a noise that sounded very much like a whimper.

If it means anything, Jack sighed sympathetically from across the table. Im here for you, brother.

It doesnt, Jack, Pacey lifted his head to pick up his menu again. But, thanks.

We could always just order a bunch of different appetizers and split them, Jen offered as she perused her own menu.

I dont know. Pacey murmured with some amusement, redirecting his gaze to the appetizer selections. Because that would mean Joey would have to share, and she has a strange aversion to things like that.

Oh, but you have it all wrong. She took a sip from her water glass and glanced over at him nonchalantly. I have an aversion to things that are strange. Placing the glass back down on the table, she narrowed her eyes in feigned contemplation. And yet, still I find myself sitting next to you

He reached for his own water glass, turning his head to meet her eyes with a shared smirk of amusement.

So, we were going to see if you guys felt like taking the ferry over to the Vineyard one day next week. Jen spoke up, leaning across the table towards them. We could knock around there for the day, go to one of the beaches, have lunchmaybe even rent some of those little scooters and cruise around up-island. She squinted curiously at Joey. What are your days off?

Joey felt her stomach sink a bit, realizing that a little jaunt over to Marthas Vineyard to knock around for the day would actually be a rather expensive venture, all things considered.

Expensive for someone like her, that is, who didnt really have a lot of money allotted for things like fun and relaxation, when there were other, slightly more important things that required funding. Like food and electricity.

Oh, um, my schedule varies week to week, so She replied vaguely, instantly wishing Jen had never even suggested it, so that she wouldnt have had to find herself in this awkward position, hoping they could just drop the subject.

But Pacey somehow felt the inexplicable need to interject and drag it out.

Yeah, but you usually have Thursdays off. He glanced at her expectantly. Dont you?

She lifted her eyes to shoot him a weary, pointed look as she mumbled, I suppose.

Jen sat up a little straighter in her seat, her face brightening. Thursdays? Theres disco bowling up in Provincetown on Thursday nights.

Pacey guffawed softly under his breath as he returned his attention to the menu. If disco wasnt already dead, that might be reason enough to kill it.

Jen gave him a little comical pout. Well, we should at least plan a day trip up to Boston.

Jack joined in this time, giving Pacey a knowing grin across the table. Get bleacher seats for a Sox game?

Oh, now Id definitely be up for that. Pacey agreed, placing the menu aside to lean forward and rest his elbows on the table. While Im probably gonna end up with money in my bank account by the end of this summer, and for the first time in my life, Id like to think I did a little more than work, you know? Anything to say it didnt completely reach the lowest depths of suck as far as suckage goes.

Joey glanced over at him in mild surprise, feeling a slight sting upon hearing this particular admission.

She hadnt realized up to now that Pacey felt his summer was such a complete waste. She knew, of course, that he was missing Andie and had been, at times, preoccupied with his concern for her, but she kind of thought, in between all their commiserating, theyd managed to have at least a little bit of fun here and there. After all, shed been able to take her mind off her own problems now and again.

Perhaps shed misinterpreted Pacey having absolutely nothing else to do with his free time for Pacey actually enjoying her companyher friendship.

Apparently she couldnt exactly offer the same kind of fun and excitement that Jen could.

Again, the story of her life.

First Dawson, and then Jen had somewhat usurped Jacks friendship and now even Pacey seemed like hed rather be hanging out with her. Why was it when Joey started to feel like she might have something for herself, someone always came along to snatch it away just like that?

Whatever. She should have figured Pacey would be that shallow.

You know, what Id really like to do is go to New York for a weekend. Jen smiled slowly and secretively as she continued. My parents are away in the Hamptons for the whole month of August, and their apartment in just sitting there, vacant. I dont know if theyd go for it, but theres enough space there for us each to get our own room, were in walking distance of everythingshopping, great restaurants. Theres even this unbelievable indoor pool right on the rooftop of the building. They light it up at night, and you have an amazing view of the city.

Joey felt her grip tighten on her menu, realizing if she couldnt even afford a day on the Vineyard, she certainly couldnt afford a weekend in New York City.

She suddenly found herself at the height, the very summit, of irrationality, imagining Jen was just throwing these suggestions out there so that shed have to humiliate herself in front of everyone and admit she was too poor to take part.

That sounds like the place to be. Pacey replied, his interest definitely piqued, somehow further piquing Joeys frustration and irritation.

Absolutely, Jack agreed whole-heartedly. A little midnight dip in the pool sounds very nice, indeed.

Hmm. Just as long as theyre not serving champagneright, Jen?

The words left her mouth before Joey had even realized what shed said, only watching from across the table as Jens smile retreated painfully and an awkward hush fell over the table.

The waitress suddenly made her reappearance then, smiling down brightly with her pen poised in the air as she asked if they were ready to order.

There was some fumbling with menus, a few appetizer suggestions thrown out by Jack and Pacey to which everyone quietly and unenthusiastically offered murmurs of agreement, and then it was just the four of them again.

If youll excuse me, Joey abruptly pushed her chair back from the table to stand, feeling like if she sat here one more moment with them she might actually cry. I have to go to the ladies room.

She hurried through the restaurant without even glancing back, following the signs for the restrooms, but heard Paceys voice directly behind her just as she reached the ladies room door.

Hey He reached out to grasp onto her arm. Hold on a minute, will ya?

She glanced back sharply, shrugging off his grip. What do you want?

What do I want? He raised his eyebrows incredulously, motioning back in the direction of their table, but kept his voice at a discreet level. I want to know what possible reason would you have to treat her like that? Especially now, at this point. I mean, Im well aware you have this need to make everything in your life somehow come back to Dawson, and maybe you carry this grudge, thinking that she came between you two in the past or whatever He raked his fingers through his dark hair in distraction before gesturing with his hands. But if you could find it in yourself to look beyond all that for just one second, youd realize that all shes ever wanted was to be your friend.

She folded her arms across her chest with a scowl, not needing this from him right now, when she felt bad enough as it was.

Look, I know you think Im a bitch, Pacey, but

No, I dont. He cut her off abruptly, his voice changing, losing its angry edge. Thats exactly the opposite of what I think. What I think, Joey, he sighed as he held her gaze evenly, is that you are better than that. Youre a better person than that, and why cant you see that? Thats what I think.

With that, he shrugged his shoulders, turning away to head back in the direction of the table.

Joey bit down hard on her lower lip, slumping against the restroom door as she closed her eyes in defense against the stabbing assault of tears.

Turning away, she pushed through the door, going over to the row of sinks to splash some cold water on her face, needing a few minutes to compose herself before taking a deep breath to return to the scene of the crime.

As she approached, she could see that Jen was now sitting alone at the table, absently twirling her straw in her iced tea.

Hey. She carefully eased herself down into the seat across from her.

Jen glanced up, but her expression didnt hold any viable emotion. Hey.

Although their drink orders sat on the table, Paceys and Jacks remained untouched.

So, where is everyone? Joey cleared her throat to glance around.

The boys went off by themselves, Jen shrugged. I overheard them discussing something about balls and holes and shafts She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. But Im pretty sure they only meant that video golf game we saw on the way in.

Joey dropped her head with a small smile of amusement before meeting her eyes again.

So, um she began quietly and contritely. Im sorry about that, Jen. It wasnt necessary for me to make a comment like that, it was totally out of line, and

Its okay. Jen assured her, but lowered her gaze to the table.

No, its not okay, Joey insisted, sighing as she then admitted, I honestly dont know why my first instinct is to react to you in such a combative or adversarial way.

She paused before continuing with a certain amount of resignation. But I realize that its due in part to my own insecurities, which I know factored into all our past petty rivalries. And its not behavior Im particularly proud ofor that I want to continue. She softened her voice gently, tentatively. Especially when Ive always thought you made a much better friend than an enemy.

Jen slowly lifted her eyes to meet her gaze, the corner of her mouth tilting up.

Right back at ya, Joey Potter.

Joey smiled, shaking her head to explain, Ive just sort of been a little tense and preoccupied lately, I guess. Not that its an excuse She let her voice drift off sadly.

I know we havent gotten to see much of each other this summer, Jen pursed her lips in concern. But weve been thinking of you. How are things going? Do you think youre going to rebuild the restaurant?

We havent gotten that far. Its too much to think aboutuntil our finances are in order. Joey shook her head before glancing away. Just sort of taking it one day at a time right now.

Well, wed love to have you and Bessie and Alexander over for dinner. Jen shrugged as she took a sip of iced tea. Ever since Jack moved in Grams has been cooking and baking in mass quantities. Not even he can keep up with her. Maybe one night next week we could put it together?

Yeahyeah, that would be nice. Joey replied softly as she smiled again. Thanks, Jen.

Jen smiled as well, bowing her head to take another sip of her drink, and Joey gazed past her shoulder to survey the restaurant, finally spotting Pacey and Jack in the bar area.

Jack was in the middle of playing the video game, but Pacey glanced over at that exact moment to catch her gaze, holding it intently for a couple of beats before they both looked away.

She could admit she wasnt exactly sure what it was she saw in Paceys eyes right then.

She just knew he saw her, too.





Pacey pulled down the driveway, letting the Jeep roll to a stop as the gravel crunched under his tires, and gazed out through the windshield at the soft glow of the porch light.

His windows were rolled down, but all he could hear was the ever-constant chirp and hum of the crickets, the evening breezes lightly ruffling through the branches of the pines and the occasional splash of the creek against the dock pilings. The small house only sat quiet and still in the night.

He wasnt sure why he was here. No, that wasnt entirely true. He knew why he was here, he just wasnt sure what drove him here. Okay, yeah, to be completely accurate, he actually drove himself here, he just didnt know why, or when, seeing her on a regular basis had developed into almost a need.

He needed to see her. He just needed to know that things were okay between them.

Opening the Jeep door to hop to the ground, he shoved his hands into his pockets, bowing his head as he crossed the yard.

He didnt know why he had reacted in the way he did the other night at the restaurant. He had witnessed the antagonism, the rivalry that existed between Joey and Jen for a long time now. It was usually his policy to stay out of personal matters that did not involve him, and besides, why interfere with the potential for a perfectly good catfight, right?

But hed grown tired of it all. Hed grown tired of the reason for it all. Hed grown tired of watching her think that every other girl that came into Dawsons life somehow posed a threat to her. And hed grown tired of watching Dawson seem to be perfectly content to let her think that way.

If she were his girlfriend, not a day would go by where shed have to feel like that.

Of course, Pacey was self-aware enough to admit that this subject perhaps touched off a sore spot in him. A very small sore spot. Miniscule even, bordering on microscopic, but a sore spot none-the-less. Because, like Jen, at one point in the not-so-distant past he had also been a victim of Dawson and Joeys tortured angst. Granted, his was only like a drive-by rejection, while Jens was a landfill-sized dumping, but he still knew what it felt like. Lets face ithe knew how Joey and Jen both felt.

He knew what it felt like to have feelings for someone who was in love with someone else. And he knew what it was like to have those feelings summarily dismissed, as if it didnt matter that you had them. As if you didnt matter.

Sitting behind the counter at Screen Play tonight, whiling away the hours until closing, he let his mind drift back to that night last year when Dawson came in to talk to him about Joey. About the fact hed decided he didnt want him to kiss Joey. And how Pacey told him he already had.

Except Pacey lied and told him shed kissed him back.

All he really intended to do was have a little fun at Dawsons well-deserved expense, but then he saw that look in his eyes. It was skepticism bordering on disbelief, but with just a touch of arrogance. It was a look that said, I know she wouldnt kiss you, because youre not me.

Because youre Pacey.

Hed subsequently let his anger, his frustration, his hurt show a little too much that night. Not that Dawson seemed to notice, because Dawson had a little difficulty seeing beyond his own nose at times. He still took his own sweet time making up his mind as to whether it would be the blonde or the brunette, oblivious as ever to Joeys feelings and continuing to use Pacey as his trusty sounding board where she was concerned.

Never once considering the fact, or seeming to even remember, that Pacey had come right out and admitted it to him.

Admitted that he liked Joey.

Dawson could wax and wane and whine for years about the girl down the creek, and that was perfectly acceptable. But it would seem that he expected Pacey to get over it all, get over her, inside a week, and go back to what he did best, which was make Dawson feel good about his life when Paceys was supposed to be worse.

Glad I could help you out there, buddy.

He had to admit that the small, miniscule, microscopic part of him had been glad when Joey turned to Jack this year, happy that she found someone who seemed to be good for her, especially when he himself had found something similar with Andie. And, for a moment there, he thought that maybe shed finally, finally gotten over Dawson.

Hed never been quite so disappointed to be wrong. And hed been wrong a lot.

Pacey hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, gazing up at the door as he chewed distractedly on his lower lip.

Maybe he was actually overestimating how much she may have been affected by his words. Maybe she had already forgotten about it. They had conflicting work schedules for the past two days, meaning they wouldnt have seen each other regardless, so he couldnt say that there was any kind of avoidance going on here. And when she left The Rockfish that night, she made it a point to say she felt like walking and he was in the middle of a video game with Jack. Under the circumstances, it would have been just a little odd if hed dropped everything to insist on driving her home. So, he let her go.

The possibility also existed that it didnt matter to her, what he said. What he thought.

But he wanted it to matter.

Taking a deep breath to release it slowly, he trudged up the steps to knock on the door.

It opened almost immediately to reveal her standing there in a small white t-shirt and cotton boxer shorts, her face expressionless.

Hey.

Hey. He swallowed to continue speaking, not quite sure why he was so nervous right now. Um, so I was in your neighborhood and realized that I still owed you an ice cream from the other night, and, ahI was wondering if you wanted to make good on that rain check?

She sort of shrugged uncertainly, WellI actually just got into my pajamas, Pacey.

He glanced briefly at her outfit again, noticing that her boxer shorts, instead of having the usual manly plaid, were dotted with tiny pink and blue flowers, and realizing with some disconcertion that he found that to be unimaginably cute.

Oh, right. Okay He went to move away from the door but then hesitated, his voice seeming to take on a life of its own. Well, no ones gonna be paying any attention to what youre wearing if you just stay in the Jeep, right? He prompted her before continuing, jokingly touching his hand to his chest. I mean, if you want, I would be willing to go up to the window and place your order for you, because thats just the kind of guy I am.

Her face seemed to soften, the corner of her mouth quirking up in that crooked smile.

I suppose that might work. She replied quietly, admitting, I am sort of in the mood for ice cream.

Pacey felt an inordinate amount of relief wash through him, his own smile slowly spreading across his face as she grabbed a pair of flip-flops, slipping them on to join him outside and follow him over to his Jeep.

They didnt say much as he pulled out of the driveway to head towards Capesides premiere ice cream stand known as Scoops, the ocean wind blowing the warm summer air through the truck as he cruised down the beach road, tapping lightly on the steering wheel to the rhythm of the song on the radio.

He pulled into one of the closest available parking spots to the take-out window so she could read the menu, giving her a moment to decide before he hopped out to go and place their orders.

When he returned, armed with napkins, they ate their ice creams in silence a while, Pacey gazing absently at the dwindling line of customers at the window. As Scoops was located close to both the public beach and the little league baseball park, most warm summer nights it would be swarming with families, hundreds of little kids running around. But now, twenty minutes to closing, it was only a handful of people. A group of older women probably looking to appease a late night sweet tooth after dinner downtown and then a couple of teenagers, about their age, looking just awkward and uncomfortable enough for Pacey to assume it must be a first date.

The girl was an attractive blonde, but her hair was slicked back with some styling product that gave it an all too perfect flip at the ends, almost as overdone as her make-up. Her unnaturally bronzed legs were accentuated by spike-heeled sandals that looked like they could do some damage, the short hemline of her slinky, form-fitting skirt only brushing the tops of her slender thighs.

A bit much for a place that offered crunch coat or cherry dip at no extra cost, served up in waffle cones with plastic utensils, under the ambiance of fluorescent lighting and weathered wooden picnic tables.

He then glanced over with a small smile to watch Joey out of the corner of his eye, her attention currently absorbed in her mint chip cone.

Her long hair had been pulled back in loose ponytail, but tousled, silky strands had escaped all over the place in the sea breezes, only some of which she had bothered to tuck back behind her ears. Shed brought her feet up to prop them against the dashboard, the strong muscles in her tan and slender legs flexed, and her t-shirt and boxers were rumpled and faded in the way any really comfortable pair of pajamas should be. Her face looked freshly washed, her soft, round cheeks having that sort of pink translucent glow against the highlight of her golden tan, and her dark lashes fluttered against her skin as she bowed her head to eat her ice cream.

He supposed it was one of her most attractive features. The fact that she had absolutely no idea just how gorgeous she really was.

Clearing his throat, he turned his head towards her.

Did you hear the one about the old man who went shuffling into an ice cream parlor, all hunched over, using a cane for support, to order a hot fudge sundae?

The faint smirk appeared almost instantly on her face as she threw him an expectant, though wary, look.

So, he places his order, Pacey continued, And the girl behind the counter looks at him and asks, Crushed nuts?And he replies, Noits arthritis.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head in an attempt not to laugh, though he did get at least a small snort of amusement out of her.

You have a lot of problems, Pacey. She murmured as she smiled.

Dont I know it? He sighed, but grinned as well.

And, just like that, everything seemed to be back to normal.

There was something about knowing he could lose his temper, even lash out in an anger or reprimand her in the way he had done the other night, yet there never seemed to be any lasting damage incurred. It was times like these that he sensed that the respect he had for Joey, and for her friendship, might actually be returned. There was a sort of validation in that for him, knowing that she did not give such things away easily or randomly.

Driving her home, maybe it was an aftereffect of the ice cream, a sugar high, but Pacey realized he was hours away from sleep, and so he nearly jumped at her invitation to come in when they reached her house.

They both dropped onto the couch once inside, and Pacey picked up the remote control to aim it at the television, making sure to keep the volume low as he flipped through the channels, since Bessie and Alexander were both sleeping only one room away.

Hey, look! He sat up a little straighter. What About Bob? is on. He threw her a quick glance. Have you ever seen it?

No, I dont think so. Joey shook her head as she folded her arms across her chest with a small yawn.

Well, were watching it then. Pacey placed the remote onto the back of the couch to settle in. Its probably one of the funniest movie of all time.

She arched a skeptical eyebrow. You said the same thing about Happy Gilmore.

And your point is?

That you obviously have very questionable taste. She reached for the quilt draped over the arm of the couch next to her to pull it onto her lap.

Youre questioning my taste? He raised his eyebrows. Well, coming from someone who makes a fashion statement in pajama attire, thats really not gonna cause me to lose a whole lot of sleep. He paused reflectively to murmur. Nor will it you, apparently, since youre already in your pajamas.

She smirked as she bumped her shoulder against his with playful force, and her voice lilted in soft protest. Shut up and watch your funny movie.

They both shifted positions to get comfortable, and Pacey glanced over after a moment to catch her yawning again.

If you want to go bed, just say the word and Ill leave. He offered with a small chuckle.

Good to know. Ill have to remember that for future reference. She gave him a half grin, pulling the quilt up a little higher. But now youve got me curious and I need to know just exactly what it is about Bob.

He smiled as turned back to watch the movie, listening to her sleepy murmurs of laughter here and there, glancing over again after a while when he realized shed fallen silent.

Her head had dropped against the back of the couch, her dark hair spilling across her face, and her mouth was just slightly open in a soft, almost inaudible snore.
Pacey bit back a chuckle of amusement, carefully twisting his body to reach behind her head for the remote he placed there on the couch, intending to turn off the television and leave. But, at that very moment, she shifted positions as well, sliding forward in sleep so that she slumped against his chest.

He froze, not even exhaling, trying not to move a single solitary muscle so as not to wake her as he figured out the best way to extricate himself from this situation. But, as he glanced down at her resting on him, he suddenly realized he couldnt breathe.

And that it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact he was holding his breath.

It was as if those last defenses, the armor she wore in the light of day, faded and melted away in sleep, leaving everything about her soft and sweet and vulnerable. Pacey could only stare down at her a moment, enthralled, enraptured. Petrified.

Finally, he slid out from under her as carefully as possible, grabbing a nearby pillow to ease it into the spot below her head where his body had been.

He glanced back at her once as he moved towards the door to leave, noticing that she had sunk comfortably into the downy cotton folds without even the slightest disruption of her slumber, as if shed always been resting in that exact spot, on that pillow instead of on him.

He had to admit it was sort of typical, representative even, of their relationship over all these many years.

Shed never know the difference, or even realize he was thereand yet a part of him would never be the same, remembering her here.

Joey placed the baguette on a breadboard, slicing through the crusty loaf with a serrated knife shed found in one of the drawers in Mrs. Ryans kitchen. Next to her, Bessie lightly tossed the chopped salad theyd brought with an oil and vinegar dressing that was Bodies original recipe, the aroma of spices reminding Joey of the dinners they used to have before he left.

She thought she heard the sound of a car engine and quickly glanced up, almost instinctively looking out through the kitchen window in the direction of the Leery house, but it remained still and quiet in the dark, closed in shadows.

Mrs. Ryan had found some strings of lights and old paper lanterns in her attic and, with Jacks help, had strung them up along the rows of lilac and rose bushes, their warm glow illuminating a portion of her yard as they gently swayed to and fro in the summer evening breezes.

A cotton tablecloth was draped over the picnic table, held down at the corners by fat mason jars stuffed full of wildflowers that grew along the creek, and Joey could see Jen was out there setting down plates and napkins around the citronella candles that served as a centerpiece.

Suddenly, she heard the creak and bang of the front screen door followed by murmurs of conversation filtering in from the living room, almost immediately recognizing Paceys voice. Although she could not make out exactly what was being said, the corner of her mouth still curled up in a reluctant half grin at the way he was saying it, the comical inflection of his tone and the infectious rumble of his laughter. Such a doofus.

Hello, fine ladies of Potterdom.

Joey glanced up to appraise him as he appeared in the kitchen doorway.

You know, Pacey, its really amazing how you have this uncanny ability to show up right when the food is about to be served, Bessie joked, moving away from the kitchen counter with the salad bowl in her hands.

What? I help! He insisted, his voice cracking defensively. Here, let me get that for you.

He leapt over to grab the back door, holding it open for her to pass through with a triumphant grin. See? Im helping.

Gee, thanks, Bessie smirked sarcastically, but laughed as she descended the steps to the yard.

And how quickly we forget who took all the trash to the compost this week, and who dealt with the spider in the bathtub yesterday, Pacey called out after her before letting the door swing shut.

So, by dealt with, you mean shrieked like a little girl? Joey murmured drolly as she arched an eyebrow.

Hey, you didnt see it! Pacey exclaimed as Jack joined them in the kitchen. It was freakishly huge. I didnt know whether to kill it or throw a leash on it and tell Alexander he had a new pet.

Joey only shook her head in amusement, placing the sliced chunks of bread into a basket to carry them outside as they followed after her.

Mrs. Ryan was out there with a pitcher filled with a light amber-colored liquid, the ice cubes clanking lightly against the glass as she lifted it in her hands.

Would anyone like to try some mint tea? She smiled generously. I made it fresh from the herbs in my garden.

MmmGrams grow some good stuff, Jen added, raising her eyebrows with a small teasing smile. High-grade.

Oh, Jennifer Mrs. Ryan rolled her eyes wearily, which Joey found even more amusing, to think that she actually was able to pick up on the joke.

She supposed that Jen was rubbing off on her grandmother in much the same ways her grandmothers influence had seemed to having a calming, stabilizing effect on Jen. She could now, in retrospect, view Jens behavior over the past year as a certain cry for help, for love, for belonging. Perhaps Joey had been unable to really recognize it before because she was so busy keeping her own similar cries so hidden and silent.

It was truly amazing to see what a difference it could make to know that there was one person who was going to be there for you no matter what, to love you unconditionally. And Joey was happy that Jen had found that.

They had a discussion earlier, curled up in the wicker chairs on the porch, watching Alexander play while Bessie helped Grams prepare the roasted chicken, about the fact they both had these similarly strong women in their lives. Both who had taken on so many responsibilities without a man currently around to help them, both providing a good home to children that were not actually their own, both role models worth emulating.

Joey would actually go as far to say it was sort of a bonding moment for her and Jen, a sorely needed acknowledgement of girl power they both could probably benefit from, considering their shared history.

Everything looks wonderful, Bessie smiled as she pulled up on old highchair Mrs. Ryan had in storage for Alexander to join them.

Grams is very big on entertaining lately, Jen linked her arm through her grandmothers. She had her church friends over for tea last weekend and they said her croissants and finger sandwiches were even better than the ones at the Hannaford Bed & Breakfast downtown.

Well, thats because she uses real fingers, Pacey joked under his breath to Joey, using a comically spooky tone, grunting in quiet pain as she then elbowed him sharply in the gut.

I think thats what she should do here, He coughed, placing his hand on his stomach as he tried to cover, nodded in the direction of the house. You could run your own B&B, Mrs. Ryan.

Im a little old to be taking on a professional business venture of that sort, She smiled, giving Jack a teasing wink of her eye. I think Im quite happy to retain my amateur status.

As Im happy for you to do so, Jack laughed in agreement.

They all gathered around the table then, taking their places to eat. Alexander giggled and bounced with delight when Pacey took the seat next to him, entertaining him throughout dinner, which gave Bessie a chance to socialize and relax.

Joey found herself grinning throughout the meal as well, laughing and talking and realizing how nice it was to be surrounded by people, by these people in particular. Only once or twice did her smile fade, and that was usually when her eyes were inevitably drawn towards the Leerys, and to Dawsons dark bedroom window.

Before she knew it, they were all clearing the table to bring everything inside, everyone grabbing at least a couple of cookies from the batch Grams had baked and left warming on the stove.

Joey wandered back outside while the others milled around in the kitchen, the sweet summer air still thick with lingering humidity even though the temperatures had dropped.

She had intended on cleaning up whatever had been left behind, but sank down to sit on one of the wooden benches of the picnic table instead, listening to everyones voices drifting out the open window but only hearing Dawson in her head as she realized she had never gone this long without talking to him.

Suddenly, in the midst of this gathering, she felt the sharp, acute sensation of loneliness stab at her gut, her eyes misting as she tried to imagine where he might be at this very moment.

And if he missed her, too.

Joey?

She glanced back over her shoulder, quickly and covertly wiping at her eye and forcing a smile as she saw Jack standing there behind her, his face registering some concern.

Oh, hey, Jack.

Are you okay? He softened his voice, taking a seat next to her as he rested his hand on her back in a comforting gesture.

Yeah, yeahIm fine. She assured him quickly, but he didnt appear to be easily convinced.

Well, you didnt really look fine, he sighed, glancing up towards Dawsons bedroom window as well. And I can probably guess why that might be.

She dropped her eyes with a sigh of her own to admit, I, umearlier tonight, I kind of overheard Dawsons name pop up in a conversation you were having with Jen, and I guess it got me thinking of him. She lifted her eyes to watch Jack. So, hes going to be home soon, I take it?

Jack nodded his head in acknowledgement. Next week. But Im sure youll be hearing from him soon, he added quickly.

I dont know about that. Joey smirked sadly before she inhaled a deep breath of ocean air, gazing off into the distance towards the ripples of moonlight on the creek. If he hasnt called by now Her voice trailed off with a shrug of her shoulder. Besides, I dont really have any idea what to say to him anyway.

Itll come to you.

Yeah, she murmured unconvincingly.

They sat there in silence a moment before she glanced over at him, arching an eyebrow.

So, Dawson told meafter we, um, got back together, I guessthat he had a really good talk with you one night. She narrowed her eyes in mild contemplation, her voice lilting up into a question to jog his memory. A talk about relationships, soul matespeople who have that kind of connection?

I think I recall something about that, Jack replied carefully.

See, I think the reason he told me was that he wanted to assure me he was going to be there for me, with what was going on with my father suddenly reappearing in my life at the time and everything, Joey explained before letting out a soft, sad laugh at the irony of it all.

He said he was trying to follow your advice, she continued, That you told him sometimes its necessary to sort of force that connection?

Jack frowned in response, I guess I dont remember my exact words, but

Oh. Joey sighed quietly

What? He glanced at her curiously, obviously catching something in her tone of voice.

Well, its just stuck with me for a while, thats all, Joey sighed again before pursing her lips uncertainly. And I wanted to ask you about it, if it was what you meant or only Dawsons interpretation of it.

Well, you can still feel free to ask, Jack gave her a small, teasing grin. I cant promise a profound or meaningful answer, but I can promise to try to do my best to make one up.

Joey smiled in amusement before growing more serious and thoughtful.

If two people really have a connection, she began hesitantly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear before gesturing with her hands, a soul mate bond, then why would anything ever have to be forced between them? I mean, the connection is there or its not, right? If you have to force it, she looked up to meet his eyes questioningly, wouldnt that just mean it doesnt fit?

I guess I never thought about it quite like that, Jack replied slowly, looking rather perplexed.

Ive just been thinkingif you force a connection, Joey continued, or say its there because you want it to be, or think its supposed to be, thenwell, then how can you know its the real thing? Is it supposed to be that difficult to achieve, rather than just happen naturally?

Jack was starting to regard her strangely, Joey, what are you

You know what, dont mind me, she cut him off before he could finish, realizing with the amount of time and effort and analysis she and Dawson put into declaring themselves soul mates, her now questioning that concept was beginning to border on schizophrenic. Especially since she was talking about this with Jack, of all people.

Im rambling. Ive had like four or five of Grams cookies and I think its the chocolate chips talking by this point.

Ah, well, he sighed in comical understanding. Ive been strung out on Nestles Toll House morsels all summer, so I feel your pain.

He reached over to take her hand then, squeezing it gently.

You watch, his voice softened reassuringly. Dawson is going to come home and you guys are going to work this out. You always do.

She returned his smile accordingly, more for his benefit, because right now she and Dawson seemed further away than ever from that place where they could be together.

Wherever that place was.

I should go see if I can help clean up, she moved to stand up from the picnic table, hearing the sounds of running water and clinking dishes from inside.

Jack got up with her to follow her back into the house, and she found Bessie talking with Grams in the kitchen, Alexander in her arms, his head lolling sleepily on her shoulder.

I need to get him home and into bed, Bessie kept her voice hushed. Can you go gather up his things?

Yeah, sure, Joey nodded her head as she started towards the front porch in the direction Jack had gone.

She found him already sitting out there with Jen and Pacey, all of them laughing in a sort of tired way that usually accompanied one of Paceys bad puns, those kinds of jokes he specialized in, where you just cant help but laugh no matter how hard you try to resist.

Here, Joey, Jen shifted positions on floral cushions of the wicker couch for her, have a seat.

We actually have to get going. Alexander is almost passed out in there, Joey explained, her eyes darting around the porch. I just need his diaper bag.

Got it. Pacey stood up, picking the vinyl bag up off the floor next to his chair, but instead of handing it to Joey, he slung the strap over his shoulder.

I think I can handle it, Pacey.

Well, since Bessie is going to have her arms full with him and youre going to be toting out all the goodies Mrs. Ryan is compiling into doggie bags as we speak, why dont you let me take this out for you.

Joey wrinkled her forehead in confusion. What

Before she could even get her response out, Mrs. Ryan was there next to her with no less than three different Tupperware containers in her hands.

Here, dear, she held them out, practically forcing them into Joeys arms. Theres more leftovers than well know what to do with here, and its a sin for food to go to waste.

Mrs. Ryan, we cant Joey tried to resist but she was interrupted again.

Well, of course you can, the older woman smiled and clucked her tongue, gently urging her towards the door.

Joey looked helplessly to Pacey, who was only grinning with a look that said, I told you so plastered across his face.

Well, thank youthanks for everything, she stammered uncertainly, glancing back over her shoulder to exchange goodbyes with Jack and Jen.

Bessie had slipped out the back door and was already adjusting a drowsy Alexander in his car seat, and Pacey reached over her to carefully place the diaper on the truck floor at his feet.

I take it youve been the recipient of some of these leftover care packages, Joey raised her eyebrows as he turned towards her.

Eh, once or twice, he admitted with a sheepish grin before lowering his voice conspiratorially. And, between you and me? Im no longer missing Gales cooking all that much.

Well, Im sure shed be disappointed to hear that, she smirked. Since your free-loaders rating is right up there with Zagats and all.

Aw, dont be jealous, Jo, he pulled open the passenger side door of the truck for her. Forget the good food and the good wine, its the good company thats the most important factor in any enjoyable dining experience, and where else would I find that but at your house?

She hesitated, narrowing her eyes.

When youre not home, that is, he finished with a grin.

Bite me, Pacey. She rolled her eyes as she climbed up into her truck seat.

He shut the door behind her, chuckling in amusement under his breath

Goodnight, Pacey. Bessie called over quietly as she took her place behind the wheel, and he gave them a wave before heading back to the porch.

Glancing up towards Dawsons window one last time as Bessie pulled down the driveway, Joey considered how their arrangement might have seemed odd to some, specifically a neighbor like Mrs. Ryan, who must have seen her climbing up and down that ladder countless times over the years. But Joey felt it was unique to them, almost like a symbol of their relationship.

But that didnt stop her from acknowledging that a ladders whole function, its very purpose, is for something that is out of ones own reach.





Pacey adjusted his position in bed, grabbing his pillow to prop it behind his head as he reclined against the wall, wearing only a pair of boxers, his hair still slightly damp from the shower as he tucked the phone into the crook of his neck.

So, remind me never to take Jack up on an invitation to do anything remotely athletic again.

Whys that?

Her query was but a vague murmur, and he realized her attention was probably focused on her painting right now, clearly imagining how she must look on the other end of the line, to the point he could visualize the tiny creases that formed in her brow when she concentrated.

He asked if I wanted to go for a jog down to the beach, Pacey explained, before reiterating, To the beach. He never said anything about running the whole length of it once we got there. He frowned mildly. I think Im still having heart palpitations from the stress and exertion.

The beach is maybe a mile and a half long, Pacey, she sighed patronizingly. Youre sixteen years old, not sixty. Suck it up, wuss.

Youre right, he smirked in response, resting the hand that hed been rubbing over his chest on his bare stomach. Its probably just my heart all aflutter from being on the receiving end of your charm, Potter.

He heard the soft sound of her attempt to stifle her amusement and smiled, So where did Bessie go tonight?

Shes doing another one of those home parties. You know, with the kitchenware shes been selling?

Oh, right, right he murmured as his voice trailed off, narrowing his eyes in recollection. So, you remember meeting Allison? The girl who works the front desk at my job?

Mm-hmm.

He heard muffled sounds of movement now, the rustle of fabric, a release of breath, and imagined this was the point shed probably taken a few steps back from her easel to sit on the couch, tilting her head as she squinted to appraise the colors swirled across the canvas in front of her.

Well, she came out back yesterday afternoon when I was working in the shop, he began to relate his tale of woe, and talked my ear into a bloody stump about her new boyfriend, who she thinks is cheating on her because he broke plans two Saturday nights in a row, saying he wasnt feeling well and going to bed early. She claims she didnt believe him, and insisted on dragging me into it to ask what I thought, so I suggested that calling him or stopping by to see if he was there would probably be the easiest and quickest way to find out, right?

Without waiting for her to respond, he continued with a stifled chuckle, his voice taking on a conspiratorial edge.

So, get this. She says to me oh, I cantIve never been to his apartment because he has some crazy roommate who is always there and hates to be disturbed, which is also the reason why I can only call him on his cell phone.

So, that answers her question, Joey replied in a matter-of fact tone. There is another woman involved. It just so happens to be her.

Exactly! Pacey raised a triumphant hand in the air in a demonstrative gesture. Thank you. Im telling ya, I thought my sisters took the prize when it came to finding these kinds of jerks. And theyre always coming to my mother to complain, like shes going to have any sound advice to offer on that subject. They need look no further than the chair planted in front of the TV in the den to get a clue that she aint exactly Oprah.

His voice then slowly trailed off into a contemplative murmur, almost as if he was talking to himself.

Although how cool would that be? To have Oprah for a mom? Do you ever see the kind of loot she gives away to perfect strangers in her audience? Imagine the haul youd take in on birthdays and Christmases as her own kid. I wonder if shes one of those celebrities who might be interested in adoption, because

I, umI used to sometimes wish my mother would leave my father.

Pacey abruptly fell silent, caught so off-guard by this kind of unsolicited admission that for a moment he wasnt quite certain that he heard her correctly, not knowing what to say.

She used to love to paint, too. He heard her voice tremble just slightly as she continued, whether with emotion or maybe from embarrassment he wasnt sure, and she let out a small nervous laugh, obviously feeling like she had to now explain herself. And every so often I would imagine what it would be like for her if she could run away from her life heremaybe to Europe, to become an artist.

Her voice softened with something Pacey had never heard before, and his throat suddenly felt like it was constricting.

Be happyfree from everything that made her sad, and sick, Joey sighed shakily. And then Bessie and I could go visit her, and shed waiting for us on her terrace, looking out over a flower garden, in front of an easel with a paintbrush in her hand. And wed all go have pastries in some little caf. Sometimes Isometimes I still like to think maybemaybe thats where she is. Her voice changed then, the softness leaving it and being replaced by a hard, dull tone. But, like Dawson said, thats just me escaping realityclinging to a child's false hope.

Pacey struggled to reply, needing to swallow to find his voice.

I dont know, he furrowed his brow uncertainly. It all sounds pretty nice to me. Sounds like an image thats kind of worth holding on to, if it makes you feel good to think of her like thatespecially if its something that wouldve made her smile, too.

His frown deepened as he felt an unexpected sense of irritation rising up inside, imagining how easy it must have been for Dawson to sit up on that golden pillar and sagely proffer advice on things he knew absolutely nothing about.

Was considering himself to be so superiorly right and wise really more important than taking a minute to consider the feelings of the girl he claimed as his soul mate?

I mean, wheres the harm in that, right? He finished, careful not to let the edge he felt sharpen the tone he used with her. Reality is always going to be there when you get back.

Yeah, I suppose.

Pacey could detect a trace of a smile on the sigh of her reluctant response, and once again was at a complete loss as why Dawson wouldnt do anything and everything he possibly could to hear that sound every chance he got.

Speaking of images that make you feel good He sensed from her words, the brightness level increasing in her tone, that she wanted to change the subject now. Did I tell you Rob Logan fell off one of the slips today, fully dressed, while trying to help someone untie their bow line?

Did he fall? Pacey squinted his eyes as he drew his words out with comical suspicion. Or was he pushed?

I have a watertight alibi! The light laughter bubbled up from under her words. I swear.

HmmIs that so? Pacey chuckled. Interesting choice of words there, by the way. Eh, well, it couldnt have happened to a nicer guy. He shifted positions on his bed, changing the direction of the conversation as well. Hey, so Jack and Jen are in for Wednesday night.

Wednesday night? She sounded confused.

Yeah, theyre saying Wednesday after midnight will be the best time to catch the meteors showers, so I was thinking we could head down the beach and camp out for a while on the jetties with some snacks and supplies, he explained.

Oh, I dont know, Joey sighed dubiously. Thats really late.

Suck it up, wuss. Pacey mimicked her earlier tone. Youre sixteen, not sixty.

Okay, Pacey. He heard her weary laugh and knew she was probably shaking her head at him in reproof. And I should probably get going and clean up this paint mess before Bessie gets home and freaks, so Im afraid youll have to come up with another way to distract yourself until its time to call Andie.

Eh, yeah, Pacey felt somewhat startled, having momentarily forgotten that was the reason hed called her to begin with, but instinctively covered with a joke. Ill probably kick back and watch a little CNN, like I usually do to wind down at night.

And you know thats not the acronym for the Cartoon Network, right?

But Pacey was barely listening now, lifting up from where hed been resting his head to glance over at the alarm clock next to his bed and seeing that the time read 8:23. His heart sank.

Aw, dammit.

What? She asked with some concern.

Its already after 8:00, he sighed, slumping back dejectedly.

Oh, I had no idea it was that late. Joeys voice was gentle now, laced with sympathy and a touch of guilt. Maybe you can still try?

Nah, theyre pretty strict about it. He shook his head dismissively, distracted by his own accountability and disappointment.

Sorry, Pace. I didnt even realize we were talking for that long.

Yeah, neither did I. And its not your fault, he assured her quietly. I can call her tomorrow. Its not that big a deal.

All right, she sighed. Well. Ill see ya.

Yep. See ya.

Pacey clicked off the phone, dropping his arm to the bed as he still clutched it in his hand, only staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, a strange feeling settling deep in the pit of his stomach that he wasnt quite sure he wanted there.

But it wouldnt be too hard to figure out that the feeling stemmed from when hed just said those words to Joey its not that big deal hed actually meant them.

His greatest fear for so long, as soon as she started exhibiting signs of her illness, was that he was going to lose Andie. Hed made her the most important person in his world, to the point he felt like everything would somehow collapse around him if she wasnt here, by his side.

Only shed been gone for two months now and his world was still fully intact.

But Pacey didnt want to be at that place where he felt okay without Andie, because he didnt want to have to think about what that meant. He only wanted to think about what they meant to each other.

He had a couple of bad dreams this summer, all of them with a recurring general theme. Usually hed be hanging from a high cliff or in some equally as precarious position, and holding onto Andie by only one hand as she dangled below him over a dangerous and rocky abyss. Her fingers would be gradually slipping through his, one by one, in that slow motion way they employ for dramatic effect in the movies, and Pacey was powerless to do anything to keep his grip.

He supposed that one wouldnt really require a whole heck of a lot of psychoanalysis. His dreams of waterfalls before he woke up and realized he had to urinate in the middle of the night were probably more complex and introspective.

Andie would be coming home soon. Shed been given a tentative release date that almost coincided with the start of school, and would miss only those first couple of days. And when she came back, it would be as they promised: happy, healthy and more in love than ever.

More in love. Now why would you need to be more in love with someone? Wouldnt the connotations be that how much you loved them to begin with wasnt enough?

It was something that had been nagging at Pacey for all these months. How Andie could come into his life and put into effect all these changes for the better, yet all his presence in her life had seemed to do was make it worse. How can someone seem so right for you, when youre obviously so wrong for them?

Pacey had all kinds of assorted hopes and fears running through him this summer, waiting for Andie to get well enough to come back, but there was one concern that stood out among all the rest, whenever he considered their promise.

He didnt know how to love her more than he already did. And he didnt know if that was a good or a bad thing.





Joey sighed impatiently, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes with the exhalation of breath, which the ocean breezes promptly blew right back in her face.

Lifting her hand to shield her eyes from the suns glare, she squinted over to see how far Pacey had advanced in line at Sea Smoothies, acknowledging with some relief that he was already pulling his wallet out of the back pocket of his khaki shorts to pay.

She started to walk down the boardwalk as he approached, knowing with his long strides hed fall in step with her momentarily, but was surprised when she glanced over to see him holding a frozen lemonade in each hand, one of which he was extending towards her.

Whats this? She arched an eyebrow.

Must be happy hour. It was a two-for-one special, he shrugged with a small grin.

She smirked dubiously, but took it from him with a begrudging, Thank you.

The summer day shined, the surface of the waves constantly changing curl or texture as the currents and winds would shift and blow, the sky giving blueness to the sea as it reciprocated in shimmering aqua hues. The slant of the suns whitewash wrapped around the old lighthouse that marked the mouth of the harbor, and triangles of alabaster sails dotted the horizon behind it.

They reached the end of the boardwalk, heading in the direction of Paceys Jeep parked along the curb, but they both slowed to a stroll when they spotted Jack and Jen perched on a bench near the entrance to the public beach.

Hola, muchachas and muchachos, Pacey called out as they approached.

Did he just call me a ho? Jen frowned over at Jack.

No, youre the one with the cha-chas, Jack informed her.

Whats going on? Joey lowered her lemonade straw from her mouth to smile in greeting as they slowed to a stop.

Not much, Jen shrugged, tilting her face up into the warm rays of sunshine as she gazed out at them through her Ray-bans. Just enjoying the view.

Joey glanced over to see a few rugged and well-built guys about their age tossing a football around on the nearby beach, right in their direct line of vision.

Ill bet, she murmured in amusement.

Hey, you up for maybe shooting some hoops later, dude? Jack squinted over at Pacey.

Well, Id love to, Jack, but you obviously have no idea what its like for me, working for The Man every day. Pacey sighed dramatically. Dragging my ass out of bed every morning, busting my hump, barely able to crack minimum wage

The Man? Joey cut him off, repeating his words with incredulity as she turned her skeptical smirk on him.

Well, yeah, he shrugged innocently, trying not to smile. My bosses name is Manny. He likes to refer to himself in the third person.

Youre such an idiot, she laughed in spite of herself.

Well, I

Paceys attempted rebuttal was suddenly cut off by a melodious female voice carried on the sea breeze behind him.

Hi, Jen!

They all turned to see Cassidy Martin strolling from up the beach, a pink and orange multi-striped canvas bag slung over her shoulder that matched the madras plaid of her short wrap-around shirt, her deep summer tan looking even darker against a white bikini top.

She trudged through the sand until she reached the steps, jogging up to reach them with a bright, perfect smile.

How are you?

Good, Jen smiled politely, her voice losing the ease of familiarity it had just held. How are you, Cassidy?

Im great, she replied without hesitation, all her attention seemingly focused on Jen even though they were all in the same class at Capeside High. Just getting in these last few beach days of the summer.

Joey bowed her head to take another sip of lemonade, her gaze surreptitiously drifting over Cassidy out of the corner of her eye. Her salmon-colored toenails matched the pink plastic flowers on her beach sandals and the tiny glint of a diamond bellybutton piercing reflected the shine of the afternoon sun against the flat plane of her stomach. Cassidy was both a gymnast and a cheerleader, so she was in incredible shape and not at all shy about advertising that to the world in her choice of wardrobe, usually wearing some kind of midriff-exposing ensemble.

So, can you believe its almost Labor Day? That school will be starting in a little over a week? Crazy, huh?

This time she glanced at Joey, who only offered a tight smile in return, not really willing to exert more of an effort to be friendly when she knew that Cassidys sudden magnanimity was rather disingenuous considering what transpired the last time their paths had crossed this summer.

Matt Caulfield and a few other guys are planning a big bonfire down the south end of the beach, by the cove, for next Saturday night. Its going to be the last big party of the summer. You should go. Cassidy abruptly turned her attention back to Jen.

Oh, yeah? Jen raised her eyebrows in only mild interest. Maybe.

Cassidy then glanced at Pacey with a guilty grin. And, by the way, dont tell your father you just heard that, Casey.

Mmmyeah, Ill try not to. And, by the way, its Pacey. He corrected her wearily as Joey covered an amused snort next to him.

But Cassidy was already focused on Jen again.

So, did I tell you my mother found out about that party I had while they were out of town last month? She freaked because she found a used condom in the wastebasket of their master bath, so I had to cave and tell her about the party. But I claimed all these older people from the graduating senior class showed up who werent invited and it must have been one of them, she laughed. But she felt it was appropriate timing for us to finally have the sex talk. Can you believe it? So mortifying. But I sat there and let her go on and on, not really having the heart to tell her that I dont even know anyone who is still a virgin.

Cassidy laughed again, as if it was the most preposterous and absurd concept she could imagine, and Joey had to quickly drop her head as she felt her cheeks flush with heat, her embarrassment heightened by the fact she and Pacey had been exchanging covert eye rolls at that exact moment, and he must have noticed such an obvious reaction to Cassidys comment.

Speaking of my mother, I should get going. Cassidy glanced at her wristwatch before moving away. My dad gave me his credit card and were going shopping for new school clothes.

Oh, okay, Jen nodded her head absently. Well, nice seeing you.

You know, you should definitely give me a call, Jen. We should hang out some time. Cassidy called back to her over her shoulder, only giving the rest of them a departing wave of her hand. Bye.

Buh-bye, Passidy, Pacey muttered under his breath.

Joey watched her walk away before turning towards Jen with a quizzical look.

Dont ask. Jen responded by raising her hands in the air in a helpless gesture. She told me she thinks we have a lot in common. I dont get it either, trust me.

Oh. Joey frowned a moment as she considered this.

It wasnt as if she really wanted a friendship, or to have anything in common with someone as superficial as Cassidy Martin, yet she couldnt help feeling slighted all the same. She didnt exactly need to be reminded yet again that she didnt fit in with the rich and popular kids.

Well, Ive got to get home, so are you going to hang out with these guys? Joey glanced at Pacey, figuring she d release him from the obligation of the ride hed promised earlier.

Nah, I should get going, too. He shook his head, digging his keys out of his pocket with one hand as he took a sip of his lemonade.

So, are we still doing this thing tomorrow night? Jack asked.

Yeah, Pacey nodded his head in assurance as he took a step in the direction of the Wagoneer. I actually have the day off, so well hook up at some point.

Sounds good, Jack agreed, in the typical nonchalant way that teenage guys made plans, requiring none of intricate coordination and synchronization that their female counterparts seemed to.

All right. Well see you guys tomorrow, Jen called out as they departed.

See ya. Joey smiled back with a wave.

When Pacey swung the Wagoneer into the driveway to drop her off, Bessie had just arrived home with groceries, so he hopped out to give them both a hand carrying in the bags.

Just put the vegetables on the counter by the sink. Thanks, Pacey, she called over her shoulder as they followed her into the house.

He placed them down as instructed, squinting his eyes curiously as he picked up a jar on the windowsill, holding its contents up to the light.

Hey, whats this?

Joey had dropped the bags she was carrying onto the kitchen table and scowled slightly as she looked over, not in the mood for his teasing right now.

Can you just put that back where you found it please?

Bessie had been making space in the refrigerator and glanced back distractedly over her shoulder. Oh, its Joeys sea glass collection.

You have a sea glass collection? He turned to her with a slow smile. How very Marcia Brady of you.

Did I not just say to put that back? Joey snapped irritably.

All right, all right, he muttered comically as he returned the jar to its place on the windowsill. Geesh. Its not like I read your diary or something.

Joey shot him a dark look, but couldnt tell if he meant that as a dig towards her and Dawson. But it annoyed her all the same.

Bessie turned away from the refrigerator to pull a large manila envelope out of her purse, which had been sitting on a kitchen chair.

She took a deep breath and smiled, Okay. Guess what this is?

Pacey spoke up brightly, Is the new personality I ordered for Joey finally here?

No. Bessie rolled her eyes as Joey shot him a few more daggers. These are the papers we need to sign so the insurance company can release our check.

Release our check? Joey needed a moment to let it sink in. You mean were finally getting our money.

Yes! Bessie grinned triumphantly as she pulled the documents out to spread them across the kitchen table.

Joey took a few tentative steps closer, her eyes scanning the words and figures as Pacey did the same from over her shoulder.

So, now what happens? She looked over at her sister.

Well, I dont know, Bessie admitted with a small laugh and a shrug. I know we havent really talked about anything in depth. We could maybe look into another commercial property downtown. One that we could lease at a lower rate?

So, we start a new restaurant? Joey chewed on her lower lip distractedly. But how do we do that without Bodie?

Bessie sighed, her smile fading. Like I said, I guess I havent got that far. It just seems that we reside in this community that thrives on the tourist trade, and there has to be something we can do to profit off that, too. We always had the restaurantits what we know. So Ive been trying to consider the easiest and most inexpensive way to get into another property and get it up and running again.

You dont think thatwell, everything that happened, the controversy, Joey began hesitantly, her initial excitement waning as well. You dont think that would work against us at all in trying to get it up and running again? Are people really going to want to come to a place a known felon was using as a front for drug-dealing?

So, what can we do if not the restaurant? What else are we qualified for Joey? Bessie shook her head in mild irritation. This is a lot of money but not enough to sustain us for the rest of our lives, you know? We need to turn it into something, because this is the last check were going to get just handed to us.

Um, I think you two are missing the obvious here, Pacey interjected quietly.

Want to go somewhere and let the grown-ups talk, Pacey? Joey couldnt help but lash out at him in frustration as she raised her hands to her forehead to continue. Maybe it wouldnt be a restaurant. Maybe we could consider something that had the potential to make us money year round, but where we could curtail the kind of expense starting up a restaurant entails. I mean, the equipment and supplies alonepaying a cook, a wait staff

Id say try a business out of the home, but I havent exactly been bringing in the big bucks with my kitchenware parties, Bessie sighed. And we dont even have enough room here to live as it is.

But you could turn this house into a place of business. Pacey spoke up again. You just have to find out if youre zoned for it.

Turn the house into a restaurant, Pacey? Joey smirked dubiously as she folded her arms across her chest. I dont really see the logistics in that.

I didnt say turn it into a restaurant. He mimicked her sarcastic tone.

She stared at him quizzically until it suddenly dawned on her where he was going with this.

A Bed & Breakfast, she smiled slowly, uncertainly.

You could expand your own living space, add a few extra bedrooms beyond that, and charge tourists the ridiculously exorbitant prices all the other B&Bs in town do, Pacey explained. The Hannaford B&B is getting almost two hundred dollars a night now, at the height of the summer season.

Joey turned to look at her sister, who appeared to be considering this.

What do you think, Bess?

I think its worth a shot, she shrugged, her smile gradually reappearing. We could at least look into what it would take.

Joey released a shaky breath as her own smile spread, almost afraid to acknowledge that glimmer of hope she felt. Turning to glance at Pacey, she stepped forward to pick up one of the insurance documents that needed to be signed.

So, lets do this.






We shall claim this land as our own, Pacey announced triumphantly, finally slowing to a stop near the end of the jetties to drop his folding beach chair.

The others had been trudging along behind him and slowed to a stop as well to glance around, all of them squinting warily in the darkness as waves crashed on both sides of them.

Are the waves going to splash us here? Are we in their splash circumference? Jen frowned in concern. Because I dont want to get splashed.

I think it would actually be splash radius, Joey amended for her, which earned her a heavy look from Pacey.

I have a rain poncho thing you can wear if it gets bad, Jack rested his hand on Jens shoulder. Although it looks like the tide is going out.

Pacey glanced up at her with a mild smirk as he set up his chair, positioning it next to
Joeys as the metal scraped against the sandy, flat surface of the rocks. Not much of an outdoors kind of girl, are you, Lindley?

Oh, and I suppose youre a regular Ernest Hemingway. She rolled her eyes with a grin, watching as he dropped down to sit, flipping open the small cooler hed brought to pull out a Coke and a bag of Doritos before propping his feet upon it as if it were an ottoman.

They all got adjusted, setting up camp with their beach chairs to face away from the bright beams of the full moon, which put them facing Capesides inner harbor as their eyes scanned the starry skies above.

I cant believe how many boats they cram in here in the summer. Jen murmured as she lowered her gaze to the water in front of them. Where did they all come from?

She glanced over at Pacey and Joey. Hey, you two are the ones who grew up here, so help a poor city girl out and impart a little nautical knowledge. What kind of boat is that over there, for instance?

Where? Joey narrowed her eyes to peer into the darkness, most of the boats bobbing in the current appearing only as silhouettes against the backdrop of night.

Right past that dinghy thing, Jen motioned with her hand. Its kind of blocking it.

Pacey, didnt you hear her? Joey smiled slowly. Move your head.

He only feigned a weary laugh as Jack snickered under his breath.

Well, I guess youd call it a pleasure craft, Joey finally spotted the boat Jen to which had been referring. Like a small yacht.

But its actually just an old lobster hull they refurbished, Pacey pointed out before taking a long swig of his Coke.

Hmm, Jen considered this before gesturing with her hand again. And what do you call that one over therethat looks almost like a pirate ship?

This time Pacey squinted his eyes. Ahhha frigate?

Jen threw him a jokingly haughty look. I was just asking. No need to get testy.

He chuckled with her, digging out a handful of chips from the bag on his lap before passing it over to Joey.

So, Jack has been considering actually putting this whole gay thing into practice, Jen turned towards them, completely ignoring the fact he was now sputtering out objections next to her, and Im trying not to exert any undue influence on him with my bitter and cynical outlook, since Im pretty much of the opinion right now that all men suck.

Correct me if Im wrong, Pacey sighed thoughtfully. But all things considered? I dont know that he would necessarily find that to be a bad thing.

Jack let out an amused snort as it took both girls a second to catch up.

It nice to know your sense of humor knows no boundaries based on gender or sexual orientation, Pacey. Joey commented dryly with a shake of her head.

Why, thank you, he grinned, sounding overly pleased with himself.

Its equal opportunity in its lameness. She finished with a smirk.

Practicing tolerance with your tomfoolery, Jack added with a nod of his head.

A social conscience to your idiocy, Jen chimed in.

Open-minded, yet half-witted, Joey offered.

Is everyone about finished? He sighed wearily, rolling his eyes.

Sorry. Jen apologized, opening a Ziploc bag of cookies her Grams had sent along before explaining, But you know mocking with us is sort of like an Amish barn raising. If anyone is there, theyre going to jump in and lend a hand.

She passed out the cookies and they all ate in silence a moment, returning their gazes to the stars to see if they could spot any activity.

Suddenly, Jen turned to look at Jack, her lips pursed as she frowned in mild distress.

Uh-oh. I think I have to go pee-pee.

Jack closed his eyes with a exaggerated sigh. What did I tell you earlier when you ordered that second Frappacino?

Um She wrinkled her forehead with a weakened smile. I think you said, go ahead and enjoy that second Frappacino, Jen, because if you have to go to the bathroom once we get to the beach, Ill gladly accompany you to the nearest clean and well-lit facility.

No, that is not what I said. He shook his head as he tried to maintain a reprimanding tone but his laughter snuck through his words.

The closest bathroom is like half a mile away. Just go in the water, Pacey motioned towards the dark and murky ocean surrounding them.

Are you kidding? Jen scoffed as she stood up from her beach chair. Like Im going to hang this sweet ass over the water, dangle it there as an appetizer for Jaws?

Pacey looked to Joey for help in reasoning with her, but she only shrugged nonchalantly.

Well, it is a sweet ass.

He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

Okay, well be right back, Jack gave them a wave as he stood up as well.

Famous last words. Pacey murmured as they watched them depart, heading down the narrow jetty towards the beach, and grinning as Jens Shut up, Pacey drifted back on the wind..

He settled comfortably in his seat, propping his feet back up on the cooler as Joey pulled a heavy gray hooded sweatshirt on over her shorts and t-shirt.

For a moment they were quiet, the only sounds around them the fizzle of spray from the combing waves, sharp fractures of breakers hitting the stone of the jetty wall and the hushed sighs from the ebb and flow of tide against the distant sandy shore.

You know, if you look right out there, he cleared his throat to break the silence, pointing past the arm of the sandbar visible beyond the harbor inlet, and you time it just right, maybe an hour past sunset, you can actually watch the moon come up over the water and its pretty cool. Its not like watching the sunrise, because you dont really see it coming. It doesnt light up the sky first. It just starts out as this white sliver on the horizon, and then the whole thing sorts of looks like its rising up right out of the ocean.

And how did you become so observant? Joey tilted her head to regard him with a faint smirk.

Well, I, ahIve actually crashed here on the beach for the night once or twice, He admitted quietly, his gaze still on that place where the moon would rise.

Joeys face fell slightly as she narrowed her eyes in soft concern. Why did you do that?

Just needed someplace else to be, I guess. He shrugged it off, embarrassed to be possibly setting himself up for ridicule or, worse yet, sympathy.

The funny thing was somewhere in the back of his mind he felt like she was just about the only other person to whom hed tell something like that.

So, did I mention I looked at couple of boats for sale? He changed the subject.

Oh, yeah? Her voice changed as well, lilting up with mild interest.

They were all slightly out of my price range, however, he chuckled in self-deprecation. And by slightly I mean hundreds and hundreds of dollars. But, damn, he sighed, almost yawned, as it had to be getting close to 1:00 am. Id still love to get out there.

He pulled his eyes away from the harbor to watch her, her face cast in the pale, bluish light of the moon.

You ever feel like that? A sort of nagging sense that youre missing out on something you should be doing, yet its something youve never actually done beforeso how can you feel like youre missing it?

Yeah, I sometimes feel like that. She turned to meet his eyes, the starlight dancing in hers. Like youre talking and it should probably make some kind of sense to me, but it never has before, so why should it start now?

Right, he chuckled at the sound of her laugh. Like you probably think you have a sense of humor, but youre actually not very funny and

Hey! She reached over to give his shoulder a shove in amused protest.

No, honestly, she admitted as her laughter subsided, tucking her bare legs up to pull the hem of her sweatshirt down over her knees I think I do know what you mean, Pacey. Her voice softened. Sometimessometimes I regret not going to Paris last year when I had the chance.

He glanced over at her, narrowing his eyes in surprise as his smile faded.

I thought I had my reasons at the time, but after everything that happened since then Her words trailed off on another sigh. Sometimes I think I was meant to go, and I somehow screwed it up or missed out on something great, something I was meant to do, by letting that chance pass me by. That I unintentionally set off an unfortunate series of events to follow, because I didnt follow a path I was meant to. I know that sounds stupid, but

No, no, he assured her quietly when she didnt finish. Believe it or not, it actually makes a lot of sense to me. His cocked his head. Convoluted sense, but sense nonetheless.

They were quiet for another moment before he admitted reluctantly, Sometimes I think Andie and I might have had sex too soon.

It was Joeys turn to look surprised as she turned to stare at him, and he could actually feel her wide, liquid eyes on him.

Although I guess that isnt exactly a secret, he tried to joke, although his chest suddenly felt tight and ached with each intake of breath. Since my emotional life was put on display with the very public revealing of a certain very private note in the kind of circumstances usually reserved for Very Special Episodes of Blossom or Saved by the Bell.

Joey smiled sadly as he turned to look at her.

You have no idea how spot on you were when you made that comment about me maybe needing to catch my breath from it all, he explained, lowering his voice to a more intimate level even though they were out here alone on the jetties. I wondered if sex would change everything before we were necessarily ready for it to change, but then, when everything started to happen with her, it suddenly felt like all I was doing was keeping up with changes, too busy running to catch up to stop and think about where we were at. He sighed, pausing a moment to frown thoughtfully. So, all Im left wondering is what wouldve been differentif anything wouldve been differentif wed waited.

Joey was quiet for a long time, to the point where he almost wondered if hed made her uncomfortable by revealing too much personal information, but then she shrugged with a half guilty grin.

Well, Id try to offer some words of advice, Pacey, but Im not exactly an authority on the subject. She narrowed her eyes almost playfully. But you knew that, didnt you?

I, ah He scratched absently at his temple, fumbling words as he tried to figure out the best way to reply to this. Well, I guess I probably would have gotten some kind of indication from Dawson if anything had changed in that regard, yeah.

Oh, and like he wouldve told you? She almost scoffed.

He only turned to meet her eyes with a faint smirk.

Okay, she sighed in resignation. He would have told you.

Paceys grin broke out in a soft chuckle.

See, with Tamara, he began, tentatively offering a little more, I was nave enough at the timeor rather cocky enoughto believe that it could just be sex. But, ah, the thing isit never quite works out that way.

Not that you can control your emotions either way, he rushed to add as he began to gesture with his hands. But so much of my relationship with Andie in the beginning seemed to happen as a reaction to something else happening thatI dont know, I guess I just wanted to be sure. I knew I was starting to have feelings for her, and then afterwards...well, those feelings intensified, and it was kind of scary. But maybe it was scary because I didnt want us to be about that. Tamara and I started out as sex and it turned into feelings, but I never really did figure out if those feelings were real. Maybe they werent. With Andie, I just didnt want it to go like that, you know? I wanted everything to be different with us. I didnt want to screw it up and lose her, so maybe its just that I kept second-guessing myself all the time.

As an outside observer, Joey assured him gently, I think I can safely say that you and Andie had a lot more to your relationship than sex.

Oh, I know, Pacey agreed without hesitation. The sexwell, thats not even what I miss about her. He timed it a beat before adding, Much.

Joey shook her head in reproof as he chuckled, wrinkling her nose uncertainly to mutter. Cant boys just take care of that themselves?

His chuckle faded but the hint of a smile still played around the corners of Paceys mouth as he slowly turned his head to look directly at her, his expression wavering between surprise and amusement, with a healthy dose of intrigue thrown in for good measure.

Well, so can girls, he arched an eyebrow with a slow, sly grin as he lowered his voice to tease her. And, if thats another area in which you are lacking some expertise, I would be more than happy to show you how.

His grin spread even wider as he received the expected exaggerated roll of her eyes, her whole body seeming to slump with a show of weary disgust, the low murmur of her voice saturated in sarcasm.

Its really incredible how many rungs you can drop on the evolutionary ladder by simply opening your mouth, you know that?

Well, you want to talk incredible things I can do simply by opening my mouth

He chuckled again as he let his words trail off unfinished, unable to resist as he waited for the inevitable retort, having never quite been down this particular road with Joey Potter and curious to see just how far he could travel.

Sure, they joked, they bickered, they teased before, but never with the kind of sexual undertones he could use with Andie, or even with another female friend like Jen. If Joey found his behavior reprehensible, well, then what else was new? He supposed that would only put him right back where he started with her. His only real concern was that he knew she packed a mean left hook.


Hmmhow about you show me how far you can stuff a sock in it? She drawled without hesitation, almost with disinterest, as she played along, seemingly unfazed.

Pacey let out another quiet laugh as he rested his head on the back of his chair to stare back up at the vast cosmos, relaxing with the realization he didnt have to worry about any fists or other unidentified flying objects being hurled from her direction.

It must have been kind of nice to sleep out here, under the stars. She commented quietly after a few moments of scanning the skies again. Theres always been something about looking up there thatI dont know. She shrugged. I guess it makes me feel a little less alone.

Pacey turned to watch her again, his eyes drifting over her face.

Small, trivial, insignificant, maybe, she continued in a soft murmur as she rested her head against the back of her chair, the remarkable dark depths of her eyes reflecting the shimmering radiance of the sky. But not alone.

Pacey reluctantly pulled his eyes away from her, and just how incredibly amazing she looked in that moment, to tilt his gaze upwards as well, almost instantly feeling a sinking sense of inexplicable guilt.

Yeah, he sighed quietly. I kinda know what you mean.

He grew quiet, lost to his own thoughts a moment, trying to think of Andie but only coming up with the fact he couldnt remember the last time theyd had a conversation like this. Which did nothing to assuage his guilt.

Did you see that? Joey sat up straighter in her beach chair. Right overoh, theres another one!

Pacey had also seen the flickering streaks of light darting here and there between the stars like scattered fireworks, but couldnt help but smile to see her so excited, so animated, realizing that he really had nothing to be feeling guilty about. Like hed explained to her just recently, it was simply his way of enjoying the natural scenery.

Fleeting, momentary acknowledgements of just how pleasing to the eye he found Joey Potter to be meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. It was like looking up at the nighttime sky to appreciate the view.

Especially when you had to figure in the fact he probably repulsed her in equal measure. It was the way nature worked, how balance and order was maintained in the world. The world as it existed within the confines of Capeside, to be exact.

He let out a soft, silent sigh as he glanced back at the full moon behind his shoulder. Hed been concerned that the illumination might interfere with their viewing ability, as it was usually recommended to watch meteor showers from a spot in either in the shadows of a tree or a house or a building on nights like this, when moon shone so brightly as to deter from their brilliance. But this far away from the glare of civilization, out on the end of the jetties surrounded only by miles of ocean water and sky, whole constellations could been seen in crystal clear detail.

Joey gasped softly under her breath next to him as she spotted a few more, and he glanced back over at her, allowing his gaze to linger on her for just a moment before he looked up to the distant skies again.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe Pacey had been dwelling in Dawsons shadow for so long that it had made her appear somehow brighter in his orbit, more colorful, more beautiful.

And forever far away, high above what he could ever touch.





Joey frowned as she followed after Pacey, carefully scaling the rocks by the mouth of the harbor, only the faintest glow left behind in the lavender sky of twilight to illuminate their way, and wondered for the umpteenth time in less than twenty minutes just exactly what the hell she was doing here.

The full moon from the previous evening, a blue moon, had brought about a dead low tide, the lowest Joey could ever remember seeing it. The slack water exposed the huge cement blocks of moorings sitting on the basin of the ocean floor and the pilings rose up into the air like totem poles. It had also allowed them to walk right across a sand bar from the end of the public beach over to the area of Capeside where the exclusive summer residences were located, usually only accessible by a small bridge at the end of the causeway.

Which is where they now were, skulking about on a small cluster of sand-dusted rocks on the outskirts of one of the private properties, in a spot that would usually be about six to ten feet underwater if the tide was high.

Pacey, Pacey she whispered furtively.

What? He responded with a certain amount of exasperation.

When are you going to tell me where we are going?

When we get there.

She scowled, but took the hand he offered as he reached a plateau at the top of the rocks, helping her up so she could see in the gathering darkness that they were directly behind a house, although it was more like a mansion, with huge arched windows looking out over sweeping ocean views.

There was some metal fencing along the top of the rocks, as well as a low cement wall, and Joey finally saw that there was an incredible in-ground swimming pool in the backyard, sunken into the ground right at the edge of the property.

Glancing up, her face fell as she saw a black and white sign affixed to the fence.

Private Property.

Um, Pacey She let her voice trail off as she pointed at the sign in explanation.

Yes, I know, he murmured distractedly as he hopped up to walk along the top of the cement wall, extending his arms as if it were a balance beam. And the perimeters of a private property are usually designated by a fence or barrier of some kind. He slowed to a stop when he traveled a few yards, turning back to smile at her, Oh, and look at that. This fence seems to end right here. That was really an unfortunate oversight on someones part.

She watched in mild horror as he slipped around the metal pole of the fencing to end up on the cement patio of the pool area inside. Pacey, we cant.

Oh, no, little engine that could, I think we can. He grinned from the inside, tugging his t-shirt off over his head.

He began to gesture with his hands, the t-shirt still clenched in his fist as he kept his voice hushed and discreet.

Look, no one is around. This is a summer residence only. Theyre only here like every other weekend, never during the week. Trust me, I know which houses that Capesides finest are scheduled to make drive-bys on, I know the nightly timing of those checks. I know no one is here, and I know no one will be coming here. I have eliminated any and all dangerous elements to this little adventure that might cause you to go all skittish kitten on me.

Joey had folded her arms across her chest in protest as she listened, but arched an eyebrow now, almost laughing, Go what?

Listen, Im going in. Pacey brushed her off dismissively as he then kicked off his sneakers. Either youre with me or against me, Potter.

She pursed her lips, her gaze traveling to the crystal clean water, feeling the sticky trickle of perspiration down her back from the hike over here in the heat and humidity.

That is a very nice pool, she murmured uncertainly.

When Pacey had stopped by earlier, she practically pounced on him, she was so happy to see someone. It had been one of those restless summer nights, when she felt like she had to get out of the house and do something. Anything. She probably wouldve been happy to only go for drive somewhere, with the windows wide open to the rush of warm wind, just listening to the radio. Something to take her mind off things like insurance claims and property taxes and rising college tuitions and weekly wages and how love always seems to disappoint but 6:00 am arrives every morning without fail.

Something that made her feel like she was sixteen, or rather how she imagined sixteen was supposed to feel.

Okay, she sighed, relenting as she climbed up on the wall to carefully make her way down to the opening in the fence. The homeowners had probably considered it a secure fortress, seeing as it was only rocks and ocean on that side. But if we get caught, Im claiming you kidnapped me, drugged me and forced me to do it.

Pacey met her to give her a hand in hopping over to the cement patio, smirking sarcastically as he did so.

Yes, just tell them I slipped you the date swim drug. They just had a special on 60 Minutes about it. Horrible epidemic sweeping the nation. The statistics are staggering. Do you know they found that almost one out of every four teenagers has done the backstroke against their will and

Enough! Joey silenced him as she went to tug off her tennis sneakers, but laughed a little under her breath.

Hed told her they were going swimming, so she already had a bikini on under her tank top and shorts, and quickly slipped out of her clothes to fold them onto a neat pile on top of her sneakers.

They had to forgo the diving board since there were neighbors close by, each of them slipping quietly into the pool from opposite sides.

Joey closed her eyes as she stroked smoothly through the chlorinated water for a while, letting the buoyancy carry her along before submerging in its temperature-controlled depths, realizing this one of the few man-made things that could still feel like heaven.

She burst through the surface at the far end to take a gulp of air, and Pacey emerged from the water next to her a few seconds later.

Ah He sighed as he rested his arms on the mosaic-tiled edge of the pool, rivulets of water dripping into his eyes. Now I could definitely get used to this.

She smiled as she pushed the damp hair back off her face, glancing up at the majestic house looming over them and then out at the lights of downtown Capeside across the inner harbor, the wide expanse of open ocean and sky right to their left.

She suddenly realized she didnt miss out on going to the Vineyard or New York City this summer, because right now, in this moment, she felt like she was in a place that was close to perfect.

Theres just one thing, though, Pacey narrowed his eyes pensively, the corner of his mouth curling up in a teasing grin. The whole purpose of coming here was to cool off from the heat, and you just dont look nearly wet enough, Joey.

He slowly slid in her direction along the underwater ledge of the pool.

I swear, you make one more move in my direction, or even think about it, she warned him, and I will have to kill you.

You know, I half believe you, Potter, he chuckled, stopping when hed only got halfway and swiping the lingering droplets of water off his face. But, then again, he shrugged, my day just wouldnt be complete without being on the receiving end of some of your scorn and derision, now would it?

His arms were extended were he gripped the edge, the muscles in his shoulders and biceps defined, and Joey had to glance away when she realized her gaze had been lingering a little too long on the way they flexed under the smooth bronze of his summer tan, somehow fascinated with the beads of water that clung to his skin.

I gotta give you credit though, Jo, Pacey continued with another small laugh, Because no one else I know has ever hated me with as much consistency.

She quickly glanced back at him, wrinkling her forehead. I dont hate you, Pacey.

He only shrugged, looking out at the view they were afforded from this spot. Okay, maybe not now but

I never did. She cut him off gently, her voice seeming to soften off its own accord.

Pacey turned his attention back to her, seeming to study her a moment in the bluish, glimmering ripples of light that reflected off the pool surface, illuminating both their faces from below, leaving their eyes cast in shadows.

You know, he began slowly, resuming his normal joking tone, you had no idea what it was like for me growing up, coming from a house where I was subject to the constant pestering and yammering and blathering of three older sisters, to realize I would be forced to share my time outside the house - my guy time, as it was - with yet another female? To have my best friend betray me to my very core and utter such blasphemy as hey, this girl is cool, lets invite her along? But yeah, as much as I wanted to, his voice softened as well, I didnt hate you either, Potter.

They stared at each other a long moment, and the shimmering light from the pool finally seemed to reach his gaze. Joey was struck by the realization that he probably had the most expressive, intriguing eyes of anyone she knew, and she almost couldnt help but be drawn into their deep blue depths, feeling the same sensation in the pit of her stomach as she did went she first submerged herself in this pool.

Suddenly, all those restless, undefined stirrings shed been experiencing as of late on these warm summer nights intensified to the point where she almost felt a physical jolt, something deep inside her tensing, tightening, before she released whatever it was out into the ocean air on a soft exhalation of breath, letting it slip through her grasp.

At that very moment the flash of headlight beams swept across the side of the house and they could hear the sounds of a car passing on the private beach road out in front.

Um Pacey dropped his head abruptly to break their mutual gaze, his voice sounding thick and heavy as he coughed to clear his throat. I think we might be pushing our luck here.

Yeah. Joey murmured in agreement as she quickly looked away, the wind whispering across her exposed damp skin and leaving a trial of goose bumps as she shivered, realizing with some confusion and surprise that her heartbeat was trembling as well.

But that was most likely a result of being startled by the unexpected sounds of the car, she reasoned, considering they were currently in the precarious position of trespassing.

We should go. Pacey was climbing out of the pool, the muscles in his arms taut as he hoisted himself up onto the edge to stand, his drenched shorts slung low on his hips, rivulets of water dripping, splashing onto the cement as he started to walk away.

Joey pulled up to swing her legs out and over as well, feeling the roughness of the surface scrape against the smooth skin where her bikini bottom rode up over the lower curve of her butt, and got up to follow after him uncertainly. She paused to tug down on the material before hurrying over to grab her clothes, suddenly feeling a tad overexposed.

They dressed quickly and scrambled back down the rocks without another word, their feet sinking into the muck of damp sand, littered with snails and mussels and seaweed and scurrying hermit crabs, as they made their way back across the sandbar to the public beach, where Paceys Jeep was one of the lone vehicles left in the parking lot at this time of night.

Joey had a towel folded on the front seat, and wrapped it around herself as she climbed up to shut the door behind her, still slightly shivering as her damp bathing suit soaked right through her clothes.

Pacey hopped into the drivers seat, glancing over at her to let his gaze linger a moment as he smiled slowly.

You know, Im getting this strange sense of deju vu, here with you right now, Potter.

MmmI dont know, Pacey, she murmured sardonically. Because when Im with you, Im usually trying to develop amnesia.

He laughed as he started the truck to pull away, and Joey glanced out the window as she pulled her towel tighter around her body, realizing that whether or not she recalled a similar time or circumstance, she still couldnt have said she agreed with him

Because, although she couldnt exactly define what that momentary feeling was back there, or where it came from, she knew shed never felt anything quite like it before.

Pacey swept the textbooks off his desktop in one fluid motion, cradling the binders in his hand as he shuffled out of the classroom behind the rest of the students in perfect cattle formation.

Breaking free from the madding crowd once he reached the hallway, he maneuvered his way through the congestion of foot traffic, everyone pausing here or there to confer with their schedules in their post-summer haze, trying to determine where they were supposed to go (while at the same time resigning themselves to the fact this was where they were supposed to be).

He slowed his step slightly as he caught a glimpse of Dawson in the distance, hesitating and glancing around before he took a deep breath to approach.

Although Dawson arrived home from Philadelphia two days ago, Pacey had stopped by only once to see him, and their conversation had been uncharacteristically brief. It was strange to realize that after nearly three months without speaking, once the pleasantries were out of the way and the what I did on my summer vacation topics were sufficiently covered, they didnt have a whole heck of a lot to say to each other.

Of course, Pacey had to admit it might have been him who cut the conversation a little short when it inevitably turned to Joey. He only told Dawson that he saw her around this summer, although he didnt quite know why he felt the need to manipulate the truth like that. The fact of the matter was that hed seen Joey nearly every day, and probably spent more of his waking time in her company, or at her house, than he did with his own family.

He could not deny, however, there was a small part of him that felt like it was none of Dawsons business. It was not information he felt needed to be offered up front. If there was one thing that most definitely changed in their dynamic this summer, it was that Pacey no longer had that tendency to view Dawson and Joey as a single entity. He and Joey had formed the basis of their very own friendship, one that was separate and apart from Dawson and really had little to do with him.

And Pacey kind of liked it that way. He also felt a strange urge to protect it - to hold onto it as well as to respect her privacy. Because thats what you do for a friend. He knew Dawson would quiz him like a game show contestant if he suspected Pacey had even the tiniest bit of knowledge regarding one of the worlds greatest mysteries. Namely, one Joey Potter.

Dawson was in the process of placing some books on the shelf in his locker and glanced over just as Pacey was reaching him.

Hey.

Hey, Pacey grinned on a quiet sigh, slowing to a stop to slump against the rows of lockers, leaning on one shoulder to lapse into his usual persona. So, today is it. The long awaited first day of school. Dawson Leery and Joey Potter havent seen each other in months - in fact, the whole summer has passed, and inquiring minds want to know what's going to happen when those crazy, star-crossed kids actually cross paths.

Dawson only shook his head. Well, then everyone must have missed the headlines, because its over, Pacey.

Yeah, until she speaks to you, Pacey replied with a wry smile.

I dont think thats something I have to worry about, Dawson shook his head with a world-weary sigh as he closed his locker door, considering what was said the last time she spoke to me.

I think you underestimate the healing powers of time, Pacey offered with a tilt of his head, falling in step with Dawson as they started down the hall. Perhaps theres been enough time for Joey to, you know, he shrugged, forgive and forget.

Even if Joey came up to me today, right now, and said I forgive and I forget, I dont know that I could. Dawsons voice was calm and steadfast, but with a hint of resignation. One thing I can't forget that this past year was nothing but a hellish nightmare. One that I think its about high time I woke up from.

Okay, okay... Pacey began to gesture with his hands as they stopped by his locker to drop off his books. Let's say youre walking down the hall today and Joey comes up and starts apologizing. She does that cute little hair tuck thing she does, and locks those truly... remarkable...

Pacey voice faded and waned slightly as he lowered his eyes to the floor, suddenly struck by an image of Joey as she looked sitting on the beach that night, her face lit only by the wash of pale moonlight, her eyes seeming to reflect the radiance of the entire night sky with the shimmering depth of the ocean itself. Except the water was cold, and there was an undeniable warmth in her gaze, a light and a heat that was ever shifting, like the tides.

...brown eyes of hers on you. So, then, my friend, his voice softened with something almost close to sadness. Then what are you gonna do?

Tell her that it's over, Dawson shrugged noncommittally as Pacey slammed his locker door shut and they began to walk again. And that - if this summer proved anything - its that we're better off without each other.

Look, Pacey, he continued with an expression of mild dismay. She didnt call, she didnt write...as far as I can see, she didnt make any attempt to even consider what I might have been going through.

Pacey almost stopped short, startled out his reveries by a stab of irritation to his gut.

And did you ever stop to consider what she might have been going through, Dawson? He stared at him, furrowing his brow in disbelief bordering on mild disgust.

Well, I...

Hey, guys!

Dawsons response was cut short as they both turned to see Jen and Jack approaching from the other end of the hall, and their discussion was quickly lost and buried amongst the greetings.

They all began to move en masse, following the throngs of other students to the auditorium for the junior assembly.

So, theyre breaking in a new principal this year, Jack commented as they all stepped into the hall, glancing around for empty seats.

Oh, yeah. I forgot that last guy quit, Jen murmured thoughtfully. I wonder why he left. She glanced back at Pacey with a small, teasing smile. You didnt sleep with him, too, did you?

He only offered her a weary smirk in response as the others laughed, too busy still muddling over Dawsons earlier comment, and just why it pissed him off so much, to offer any kind of retort.

Youd think hed know better by now than to ever let himself get too involved in the ongoing dramas of Dawson and Joey. Because that particular hourglass that was the days of their lives? It never seemed to run out of sand.

They found an empty row and filed in one by one, Pacey slumping down into the last seat on the end with a heavy sigh. His gaze lightly skimmed the crowd in front of him before he shifted his position forward slightly to glance back over his shoulder, only half listening as their new principal took the podium to begin to speak.

Thats when he saw her, emerging through one of the side doors, those eyes of hers meeting his from across the entire auditorium. He held her gaze, along with his breath, and she seemed to hesitate, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, before dropping to sit in the closest available seat, as the assembly was already underway.

Pacey turned to face forward with another sigh as he exhaled, and stole a glance over at Dawson, whose own eyes were currently darting around the hall.

Guess Joey is in here somewhere, Dawson murmured under his breath.

Yep, Pacey agreed without offering anything more, focusing his attention on the front of the auditorium. Guess so.





Pacey picked distractedly at his lunch, the jumbled din of voices and laughter filling the cafeteria around him. Cassidy Martin had stopped by their table to chat with Jen, only giving him an almost dismissive hello as she stood there, which led him to assume that her advances that night on the beach had all been part of some alcohol induced dementia, one which she now had no recollection of.

Yet still, especially sitting here with Jack right across from him, in the bright light of day, it made Pacey feel a small tinge of guilt to think he placed himself right in harms way. If he really cared for Andie as much as he claimed to, perhaps he shouldnt have lingered so long with some other girl on the beach at night in such a secluded place.

You know, Jen - you should totally try out for cheering.

He glanced up to meet Jacks eyes with a faint smirk, both of them then turning to gaze expectantly at Jen.

Oh, totally, Jack jumped in to agree with mock enthusiasm, nodding his head as he tried to maintain a serious faade.

Mmm, and Im thinking of something else I should totally do right now, Jen muttered in Jacks direction through gritted teeth as she continued to smile tightly at Cassidy.

Aw, Jack leaned in towards her to drop his voice to a singsong whisper, thats all right, thats okay, you can thank me anyway.

Die, bitch. Jen seethed back.

Pacey dropped his head to gaze down at his lunch again, covering an amused chortle of laughter.

Hey, guys.

He looked back up to see that Dawson was joining them, placing his lunch tray down next to Paceys as he claimed the empty seat and cast a curious glance in Cassidys direction.

Hey, Dawson.

So, your dad got hired as Capeside Highs new football coach, huh? Jack smiled from across the table.

Yeah, Dawson nodded his head in acknowledgement, going back to his roots.

We traded a few stories of our glory days this summer, Jack continued with a knowing grin. Ever since he found out about my illustrious Pop Warner career, hes been giving me the hard sell on trying out for the varsity team.

Hes getting pretty into it, Dawson agreed with a shrug. Hes actually at a coaching conference out at Deerfield Academy for a few days. He wont be back until late Sunday, so youre safe until then.

Wait whats that? Cassidy suddenly leapt uninvited into the conversation, her face lighting up with interest. Your dad is out of town for the whole weekend? Oh, you have to have a party!

Dawson furrowed his brow uneasily as he gazed up at her. I do?

Yes! She exclaimed before being interrupted by the musical chime of her cell phone. Uh-oh, she dug it out of her bag as she turned slightly away from them. Excuse me. Im getting a call.

I often wonder, Pacey mused thoughtfully as he chewed a bite of his lunch. Is it really such a great idea to give radiation-emitting devices to teenagers with still growing brains?

Jack and Jen both exchanged amused glances, quickly reverting back to straight faces as Cassidy ended her call and turned back to them

Sorry, people, I have to run, she sighed apologetically, but pointed at Dawson before she actually walked away. But you should really give that party idea some thought!

They all watched her continue on through the cafeteria, stopping on the other side when she reached the preferred table that was the chosen spot of all the varsity football players and cheerleaders.

Ah. Returned safely to her natural habitat, Jen smiled widely.

Dawson was still frowning and glanced around at all their faces. Can I just ask - why?

Jen shook her head with a shrug as she returned her attention to her lunch. We havent quite figured that one out yet.

Oh, I think I might know, Pacey pushed his chair back, moving to stand as he grabbed the remnants of his lunch and headed towards a nearby trash barrel, grinning at her over his shoulder. Maybe its because youre sexy, youre cute, youre popular to boot.

Jen only rolled her eyes, crumpling up the wrapper to her sandwich to toss it at him.

Pacey only chuckled, easily ducking out of the way. Ill see you guys later.

Uh, see ya, Dawson called after him, appearing to still be mildly confused as he watched him depart.

Pacey stepped out of the cafeteria, glancing around the main hallway before he headed towards the doors that led out to the cement courtyard and the wide front lawn beyond that.

The sun shone down brilliantly from the cloudless blue sky above, warming the September air, the green leafy oak and elm branches swaying in the breeze only edged in a piping of red and gold to indicate autumn was on its way.

Thats where he found her, sitting under one of those trees in patch of sunshine with her lunch spread out on the grass next to her, her head bowed over a book

He stopped to gaze down at her, smiling slowly.

I thought they allowed you back in the cafeteria this year, after they made you sign that binding agreement not to use trays?

She glanced up with a smirk.

They did, she shrugged without missing a beat. But having been witness all summer to the way you ingest food, I know by now that its really enough to put someone off their lunch.

He only chuckled a little, moving to drop down and sit on the grass a few feet away.

So, um, she wrinkled her forehead in that way she always did, watching him for a response, how is everyone?

Were all great, he smiled on a sigh as he stretched his legs out in front of him. Thanks for asking.

She only narrowed her eyes humorlessly to stare him down.

Oh, okay, he nodded his head comically as if struck by a revelation. I get it. By everyone, you actually mean Dawson.

She sighed in mild irritation, pushing a piece of hair back behind her ear. Has he asked about me?

What do you think? Pacey dropped his teasing tone for a more familiar one, giving her a wry grin before raising his eyebrows with a tilt of his head. Of course, I think hed have more to question in your regard if he saw you sitting out here by yourself, instead of in there with your friends.

Joey rubbed at her arm with an uncomfortable grimace. Im just not ready to see him yet.

I know, Pacey reassured her quietly, gazing down at the manicured lawn as he tugged on a blade of grass. I understand.

They lapsed into a short silence, both seeming to be lost to their own thoughts, before Joey gazed over at him again.

So, when, um, she pursed her lips thoughtfully, when does Andie get to come home?

A week from today, Pacey sighed, tearing the blade of grass out and tossing it aside. I talked her father into letting me be the one to drive out there, so I think Im gonna leave early, after sixth period, and bring her home.

Joey seemed to consider this carefully, and they were both quiet again for a long while until the breeze picked up, sending a single leaf floating down between them.

She reached for it, twirling the stem between her thumb and forefinger to stare absently at the dazzling red and fiery oranges threading through its veins, staining its sharp points.

Guess its official, she sighed on a murmur. Summer is over.

Yeah, Pacey glanced over at her once before looking away. Guess it is.





Joey slung the strap of her backpack over her shoulder, slamming the wobbly metal door of her locker shut as she turned to walk away, making a sharp left at the end of the hallway and nearly screeching to a halt as she found herself face to face with Dawson.

He-hey, she stammered uncertainly, caught totally off guard.

Hey, Dawson replied with just as much bumbling hesitancy, promptly dropping the notebook in his hand with a loud splat onto the floor, random piece of paper flying out to skid nosily across the linoleum.

Here, let me help you, she sighed breathlessly as she bent to help him retrieve the errant notes, relieved for the momentary distraction.

So, um, how was...

Did you...

They both went to speak at the same time, lifting their heads at the same time as well, and somehow managed to awkwardly bump their noggins together in the process.

Um, ow, Dawson murmured with a small laugh, rubbing at a spot above his temple.

Sorry, she laughed in embarrassment as she touched her fingers to the sore spot on her own forehead.

Feeling too much like an idiot now to even worry about the extenuating circumstances, her voice softened with familiarity, How are you, Dawson?

Im okay, Joey. His voice also dipped into that well. How are you?

Okay, she smiled sadly, pausing only a brief moment before she continued in a rush of words.

Dawson, I'm sorry. Not just about this, she gestured towards the pile of messy papers in his hands. But about everything. I didnt want those things to be true about my father, I wanted this time to be different, and when I realized...well, I understand now how wrong I was to lash out at the one person who cares about me the most. Who I care about the most. Her voice lowered sadly. Even if it was in a moment of adolescent anger, and despite how upset I may have been at the time.

Dawson sighed with a rather pained expression. You could have said that before all this time went by, Joey. You shouldve contacted me.

I should have done a lot of things, she murmured in near defeat. But I felt so badly - I figured I'd ignore life for a while, avoid dealing with it. But you can't do that forever, can you?

No, Dawson agreed softly. You can't.

A weighted silence fell over them and she fidgeted slightly, trying to assume a lighter tone.

So, did you miss me at all?

He smiled faintly. You know I did.

She nodded her head, glancing away to take a deep breath. Im glad youre home, Dawson.

Yeah, you know, he narrowed his eyes in contemplation. This is the first time since I stepped off that bus from Philadelphia where Ive actually felt like thats where I was.

Joey dropped her head a little, feeling the smile spread to the point it warmed her cheeks, a feeling of relief seeping into her veins.

So, I guess Ill be seeing you around? She glanced back up at him with a shrug, still smiling.

Yeah, guess so. He returned the smile. Nice bumping into you, Joey.

Right, she laughed a little in self-deprecation as she moved to walk away.

Hey, Joey?

She turned back expectantly.

You maybe want to catch a movie some time?

Id love to, Dawson.

Her smile, if possible, grew even brighter in that moment, as she then turned back to continue on her way out of school, completely unaware that his smile, in contrast, had quickly faded.

The sun still hung bright in the crystal clear sky as she emerged out into the back parking lot, adjusting the strap of her backpack when she reached the Jeep to pull open the door.

She climbed up into the passenger seat and Pacey glanced over at her from where hed been lounging lazily behind the wheel, furrowing his brow as he seemed to study her.

Excuse me, but do I know you?

She only gave him a dubious smirk and fastened her seatbelt, as hed offered her this ride to work earlier in the day.

I mean, you look familiar, he straightened positions in his seat to turn the keys in the ignition, but theres something on your face I just cant quite place. He glanced over at her again to narrow his eyes as he pulled out of the parking space. Its that thing around your mouth that if I didnt know better - almost looks like a smile.

She shrugged her shoulder, turning to gaze out her window. I just saw Dawson.

Ah, Pacey drew the word out with a knowing grin. So, that smile has a name. He tilted his gaze back in her direction. Well, cmon, tell me - how did it go?

It was surprisingly painless, Joey replied thoughtfully.

Well, good. Pacey nodded his head shortly as he returned his attention to his driving. Glad to hear it.

Yeah, she murmured in agreement, so wrapped up in her own smile at this point that she, once again, didnt even notice when his slowly faded away as well.





Pacey wandered down the hall towards the cafeteria, hesitating as he reached the doors to the courtyard, but then he quickly pushed through them to step outside. It was another unseasonably warm day, and students were congregating everywhere, but as he glanced around, making stops at all the local trees, he couldnt find her anywhere.

Going back into the building, he continued on to the cafeteria to get in line for lunch, slowing to a stop with his tray in hand as he approached their usual table and saw Dawson and Joey sitting there, laughing and talking together.

They both glanced up at the same time with expectant smiles.

Hey, Pace.

Hey, guys, he smiled with a distracted sigh, taking the empty seat across from them, next to Jen.

Hi, guys! Cassidy Martin suddenly was echoing him as she breezed by their table at that moment, slowing to an abrupt stop to turn around only once shed passed by.

Oh, hey, Dawson, she came back with the bright afterthought of a smile. What do you think about that party this weekend? Given it any more thought?

Joey turned to stare at him with darkening eyes and a dubious smirk. A party?

Pacey only rolled his eyes a little as he gazed down at his lunch, wondering how she had the ability to make it sound as if Cassidy had just suggested Dawson invest in a company that manufactured automatic weapons out of endangered animal parts, while emitting toxic fumes into the ecosphere and employing child laborers to cut costs.

Dawson only gave Joey a rather blank stare in response before glancing back at Cassidy.

Ah, I dont really know, Cassidy, he sighed uncomfortably, Ive heard about the kind of damage that can be inflicted on private property all in the course of one high school party and I...

So, you keep it to a select few, she cut him off with a shrug. Thats what we always do. No one I know has ever had a problem with their house getting trashed when theyre careful with the guest list.

Yet, despite all that prudence and conscientiousness, our invitations must have got lost in the mail, Pacey mumbled quietly around a bite of food, glancing over to see Jen meet his eyes with a wry smile.

I dont know, Dawson frowned thoughtfully. But, maybe - if we kept it small...

Yay! Cassidy exclaimed excitedly, sensing she had him on the fence and continuing to urge him on even as she walked away towards a friend at another table who was waving her over. Come on, Dawson. You know you want to. Think of it, She persisted, calling back over her shoulder, what better way to ring in our junior year?

Hmm. Seems ropes are getting yanked like church bells all around, Joey muttered under her breath as she watched her walk away, and Pacey only dropped his head with a small smirk.

Honestly, maybe it wouldnt be such a bad idea, Dawson turned to gaze around at all their faces, as if looking for some assistance. I mean, if we keep it reasonably contained, that is.

Joeys mouth fell open. Youre not serious?

Well, why not? He shrugged. It might actually be fun. I dont think anyone can deny thats been in short supply around here.

Whatever you want to do, Dawson - its your house. Joey shook her head dismissively, getting up to leave. Ive got to stop by the library before my next class. Bye, guys.

See ya, Joey, Jen replied softly.

Dawson rolled his eyes, pushing his chair back from the table to follow after her swiftly retreating form.

Joey, wait...

And so it begins, Jen sighed wearily as they all watched them walk away.

Did it ever really end? Pacey replied with more bitterness in his tone than he intended, quickly turning it around with some comedy to lighten his voice. Doesn't it just warm your heart, though? Kevin and Winny taking those first tentative steps back to The Wonder Years.

Except Kevin and Winny never ended up together, Jack pointed out quietly.

Jen turned to smile at him curiously. And youre predicting that Dawson and Joey will?

Please - by this point? Jack laughed around a bite of his sandwich. Who else would either of them ever end up with?

Pacey only continued to watch them walk away through the cafeteria, lowering his gaze back to his lunch only when she was out of his sight.





Joey emerged through the cafeteria doors, frowning in mild irritation as she had to step around a crowd of student loitering in the hall and blocking her way, before she continued on towards her locker.

Joey, wait up.

She dropped her head when she heard him behind her, pursing her lips as she gradually slowed her pace and he jogged up to fall in step next to her.

Joey, talk to me. What is it?

Can I ask you something? She looked up sharply to meet his concerned gaze. Whens the last time in the past five years Cassidy Martin even glanced your way, Dawson? Even acknowledged your presence? Yet, suddenly you have an empty house for the weekend, something to offer her, and youre throwing a party thats sure to piss off Mitch, both your parents, probably at her suggestion? All because she said the word, and needs a new place for her and all her friends to get drunk this weekend? She shook her head and folded her arms across her chest to glance away. I just hate to see you acting like someone youre not, thats all. Especially for her benefit. Its not who you are.

Its not who I am? Dawson raised his eyebrows with a small, but somewhat harsh, laugh. Because I wouldnt mind actually getting some enjoyment out of life for once? Wanting to have some fun? Thats me acting out of character?

Joey only chewed sullenly on her lower lip, but didnt respond.

She didnt want to be like this. She didnt want to react like this. And she didnt know what it was about Dawson that turned her into someone she didnt want to be.

For all her private contemplation and soul-searching this summer this summer over the state of her relationship with the boy down the creek, all he had to do was throw some small morsel her way a few kind words, the promise of something as insubstantial as a movie night - and she was reduced right back to that needy, insecure too tall girl still feared hed never see her as anything more than a friend.

Why was this so important to her? Why was every other female that came into his radius such a threat? Were these patterns of destructive behavior so ingrained that she could never break free from them? Was it always going to be like this?

Dawson was raking his fingers through his hair in distraction and then began to gesture with his hands as he burst out in frustration.

God, Joey...I feel like I wasted an entire year being miserable, you know? I spent it verbalizing and angsting instead of living. And I realized Ill never have that year back. I need to just learn how to exist, and question things later. Maybe maybe I finally understand how you felt last year. Maybe I need to find myself, and sometimes in going on a journey like that it becomes necessary to deviate from the norm. Widen ones horizons.

Im sorry, Joey shook her head, refusing to relent. I dont see how bowing to peer pressure from someone as shallow and snobby as Cassidy Martin constitutes widening your horizons. Unless you have some ulterior motives where shes concerned.

Dawson sighed heavily, dropping his head to stare at the floor.

Joeys mouth dropped open as she stared at him with something close to mild horror. What - is that it, Dawson? Are you attracted to her?

No, Im not attracted to her, Joey. Dawson lifted his head to meet her gaze honestly. I just think you may want me to say something here - to you - that I cant say right now.

Well, why dont you just say whats on your mind then, she replied with a certain amount of apprehension, watching him intently.

II dont think I can go back, he admitted.

Joey let his words sink in for a moment.

I see, she replied carefully, measuring each word with painstaking precision, while at the same time grasping onto any tenuous thread of hope she could find to hold onto. And I take it by that, you mean us. You dont think you can go back to us. When there was an us.

He nodded his head, his voice sounding raspy. Yes.

But - but it could be different this time, Joey offered as she futilely struggled to keep the holes in her own voice, her own heart, filled and patched, reacting purely to the sinking sense of desperation she felt as she tried to save herself. Im different now, Dawson, and you havent even given me a chance to show you that.

Weve been apart all summer, Joey, Dawson only shook his head, his words heavy with resignation. Living separate lives, and I didnt think - I didnt think I could handle it. But then I finally realized we were apart long before that. And I was actually kind of getting used to it.

Joey blinked the dull sting in the corners of her eyes away, instinctively tilting her chin up in a protective stance.

If thats how you really feel, she shrugged, swallowing back the salty lump of tears lodged painfully in her throat, I guess theres nothing more to say.

She tried to make her escape, but Dawson reached for her arm.

Wait, he nearly begged her. Let me finish, please?

Joey only stayed frozen in that position, making no move to walk away but unable to turn back to face him.

I love you, Joey, Dawson continued more discreetly, as other students on their way out of the cafeteria were starting to filter by them now. But what happened between us - or didn't happen between us it was because both of us wanted it that way.

Just say it, Joey whispered miserably as she closed her eyes. Say what you really mean. Its me. What's wrong? What's so wrong with me?

No, youre not hearing me, Dawsons voice dropped with some urgency. It's not you. It's us. I can't go through all that again. You say it will be different, but it won't be.

You don't know that, Dawson.

Yes. Yes, I do, he insisted quietly. And so do you, Joey. Another year like last year and I can promise you, there will be no more love left between us. There will barely be friendship. And I couldnt bear to lose that. There has to be a reason were not together, and maybe we owe it to ourselves to find our own way for a while.

So, what comes next? She quickly swiped at a corner of her eye before shrugging her shoulder, her voice dripping with wry sarcasm. I hope we can still be friends?

I hope we can still be Dawson and Joey, he amended gently.

Joey only shook her head as she began to walk away without a backwards glance.

Im sorry, Dawson. But I dont even know what that means anymore.





So, that was the last time you two talked, huh? Pacey watched Dawson carefully from his perch on the Leery kitchen counter.

Thats the last time Ive even really seen her, Dawson shrugged in explanation. Well, other than a few icy hellos Ive received as we pass each other in the hallway at school, that is. Shes never around.

Well, she works every day after school, Pacey offered. And theyre starting the renovations on the house, for the B&B. He let out a small laugh, but there was much humor in the sound. I think its more shes trying to make a living than making herself scarce, you know?

I suppose, Dawson replied dubiously.

Pacey sighed as he hopped off the kitchen counter, wondering what was taking Jen and Jack so long. Theyd volunteered to go grab some snack foods for the party, and since Gales departure from the Leery abode the cabinets were decidedly bare.

Cassidy Martin had promised she could provide the alcohol, which of course made Pacey wonder exactly how she was going to go about procuring it.

Pushing that thought out of his head, he chewed absently on his own lower lip a moment, watching as Dawson spread a vinyl tablecloth over the kitchen table, an added protective measure for the expensive wood finish.

So, he cleared his throat. Do you think this is really it for you two?

I honestly dont know. Dawson grimaced slightly as he ran his hand through his hair. I cant think about it all right now.

He hesitated with a small frown before turning to look directly at Pacey. Maybe Im just tired of feeling like my life is an ongoing episode of thirtysomething, you know?

I see, Pacey nodded his head solemnly as he narrowed his eyes. Youre looking for something a little more age appropriate and little less introspective. Perhaps more of a 90210 existence?

Yeah, Dawson agreed before adding, But without the various substance abuse problems and gambling addictions. He paused. And the random guest appearances by pop music stars of indiscriminate talent. His voice lowered to a mumble, And the really bad hair.

Pacey raised his eyebrows. Um, yeah, well...

Before he could finish his thought, they heard distinctly female voices suddenly calling out from the front hall.

Hello? Anyone home?

Dawson glanced at Pacey with a curious frown as he called back, Yeah - in here.

Cassidy Martin subsequently appeared in the kitchen, flanked by two of her cheerleading cohorts from Capeside High. And each of them carried not only one, but two cases of beer in their hands.

Hi, guys!

Uh, hey, Dawson responded with some apprehension, his eyes fixed on the cases. Um, heh...wow - thats a lot of beer. He turned to Pacey with a flash of panic in his wide eyes. Thats a lot of beer, right?

Pacey shrugged, Depends on who youre asking.

Im asking you! Dawson burst out with some exasperation.

Oh, Pacey considered this. Well, yeah, then - thats a lot of beer.

Ah, Cassidy, Dawson laughed nervously as he watched them pile the cases on the table. What happened to all that talk of this being a small party?

Dawson, she motioned towards their surroundings with a small laugh, if this party were any smaller youd need a microscope to see it. Dont worry about it.

She took a step closer to them, lowering her voice with some discretion as the other two girls wandered around the kitchen behind her, checking things out here and there as they whispered and giggled amongst themselves.

Look, I couldnt leave Courtney at home, she explained in hushed tones. Shes been dating the guy she works with after school at the Starbucks downtown and he broke up with her this afternoon, grande style. Besides, its her older brother who bought the beer. And, if I invited Courtney, I - of course had to invite Jessica, Cassidy shrugged. But, thats it.

Dawson glanced up as another group suddenly wandered into the kitchen from the front hall. So, who are those people?

Oh, yeah, Cassidy nodded her head as she glanced back over her shoulder, still speaking confidentially. Thats Jessicas boyfriend you know Connor from school, dont you? Well, it seems hes a bit insecure and jealous and demanded to come along with her. And he only brought a couple of other people. No biggie. Its all good.

Good for whom? Dawson almost scowled. I barely know these people.

Okay, Dawson, Cassidy sighed as she turned to tug open the cardboard case to retrieve a can from within. I think I can see whats happening here, and Im going to have to insist you drink a beer to lighten up. She turned back to hand it to him, practically shoving it into his hands. As in immediately.

Dawson looked to Pacey with a sort of bewildered, deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression on his face.

But Pacey only shrugged carelessly, much more of a go-with-the-flow type, although the corner of his mouth tilted up in mild amusement. Hey, I really think its what Brandon would do.

Does the name Emily Valentine mean anything to you? Dawson sighed, watching as Cassidy grasped his hand in both of hers and firmly cracked open the pop-top on the can for him. Hesitating only briefly, he lifted it to his mouth.

Pacey dropped his head with a small chuckle and moved over towards the table. Ill try to make some room in the refrigerator for these, though it shouldnt be too hard considering the current sad state of affairs around here.

He had just opened the door and turned to tear open one of the cases when Cassidy moved over to help, handing him some cans in assembly line fashion.

Im still mad at you, you know, she murmured with a small smile.

At me? Pacey raised his eyebrows as he reached for the can she was holding. What did I do?

Its what you didnt do, she smirked softly.

Paceys face fell momentarily, but he recovered with an uneasy chuckle, not quite sure if she was being serious.

Thats okay, she shrugged with another smile, and this time he could tell she was just messing with him. Im over it. I can handle rejection.

Somehow I find it very hard to believe youre faced with that problem very often, his voice dropped as he joked back.

Well, I hmm. You know, I was going to say something else, but then I realized youre right.

With that, she cracked open the next beer she pulled out of the case instead of handing it to him, holding it up as if making a toast before sauntering away.

Ill see you later, Casey, she threw him a mischievous grin back over her shoulder.

Yeah, see ya, Pacey shook his head with a small laugh.

He had to rearrange some items in the refrigerator and, as he turned back to grab some more beers out of the case, he hesitated, noticing Cassidy was now slinking over towards Dawsons general vicinity. He smirked in mild amusement as he watched her place her hand on Dawsons arm, leaning in suggestively to speak with him.

Good luck, buddy, Pacey chuckled under his breath as he returned to the task at hand. It was nice knowing ya.





Pacey had just returned to the kitchen to grab a beer, the party in full swing, when Dawson suddenly appeared out of nowhere to drag him into the pantry.

I think Cassidy Martin is coming on to me.

Pacey frowned in slight irritation, both of them now squeezed together into the small, cramped space, the door closed behind them only allowing in a crack of light.

And what? You want to throw her off by making it seem like we share the closeted love that dare not speak its name?

No, no, Dawson shook his head, staring down at the floor with a mildly perplexed scowl, and Pacey could tell he was well on his way to a state of inebriation. Thats not it.

He furrowed his brow, tilting his head to appraise him as his voice lowered with intrigue.

Could it be possible Dawson was attracted to yet another hot blonde? This was an interesting turn of events, indeed. Pacey honestly never saw this one coming.

Well, what do you want, then, Dawson?

He lifted his head, his eyes almost pleading with Pacey for answers he wasnt sure he could provide.

I dont know, he admitted. I didnt think Id ever be interested in someone like her, but... His voice trailed off miserably.

Well, yeah, sure, Pacey joked with a shrug of his shoulder, Most guys are turned off by an attractive girl with a killer body.

Oh, God. What should I do? Dawson burst out in mild desperation.

Pacey sighed heavily, all humor leaving him as he cast his eyes to the floor, knowing what he had to say in this moment as much as it pained him to do so.

Well, what about Joey?

Ive told you...Ive told her...I cant do it anymore, Dawson ran his hand through his hand, swaying a bit off balance with just that movement of his arm. Its too hard. It hurts too much.

There was this girl...in Philadelphia, Dawson continued in a rather muddled stream of consciousness. She was interning at the studio where my mother worked. We were hanging out a lot and...and we even made out a couple of times...nothing major. He lifted his head again to stare at Pacey. But it was so easy, you know? To be with someone else.

Yeah, Pacey sighed again, feeling a familiar sinking sensation in his gut.

I dont want to ever hurt Joey, Dawson shook his head, But at the same time I might actually be attracted to this girl. So, what do I do?

If there was ever a moment in Paceys life where he had the proverbial angel and devil on his shoulder, this was it.

On the one hand, he knew something like this would devastate Joey, and he didnt want that to happen. On the other hand, he knew Dawson had been through a lot in the past year. Perhaps much of it was a misery of his own making, but still - he was due to sort of cut loose, have some fun of the female variety. Because, lets face it. There was no one in the world who needed to get laid more than Dawson Leery.

But in this particular situation, it would seem Pacey was in possession of a third hand, because he had something else influencing him in this moment. Something he couldnt really define or acknowledge, but something that was there all the same.

Something that made him say what he then said, even if the moment the words left his lips he felt like he was serving up a big bowl of wrong.

Hey, if you think you might like Cassidy, he shrugged without really meeting Dawsons eyes, Go for it.

Dawson seemed to relax then with an exhalation on breath, nodding his head as he moved to rejoin the party, Yeah, okay. Thanks, Pacey.

Pacey sort of chuckled humorlessly as he followed after him.

Dont mention it.





Pacey stood with Jack and Jen in the living room, watching as even more random teenagers began to filter into the party, pushing their way into the front hall, the noise level increasing exponentially.

He shifted uncomfortably, gripping the beer in his hand a little tighter as he glanced around the house, but there was no sign of Dawson anywhere for crowd control maintenance. In fact, it had been a good twenty minutes or so since hed last seen him.

Him or Cassidy Martin, for that matter.

The front doors opened yet again, bringing in a blast of cool, crisp fall air tinged with the faint aroma of burning leaves, and a group of freshman guys wandered in acting much too cool, most likely trying to blend in as unobtrusively as possible.

Pacey decided to give them a break, knowing they were a mostly harmless bunch, and if they actually had the balls to walk into an upperclassmen party, they ought to be able to savor the sweet taste of victory for a while before getting the boot.

He noticed one of these fearless freshmen was Derek Lawson, the star quarterback of this years junior varsity football team. He was so good in fact, hed actually brought an interest back to these largely ignored games, most people in town more focused on the varsity sports. Of course, with his looks straight off the cover of Tiger Beat, those fans now crowding the stands were mostly dreamy-eyed 14 and 15 year old girls

Pacey lifted his beer to his mouth, rolling his eyes as he glanced over to see both Jen and Jack checking him out.

Oh, Jack? Jen murmured with a slow smile.

Mm-hmm? Jack also lifted his beer to take a swig, his attention still focused on Derek.

Do you know who I am?

Youre Jen, Jen.

She sighed, outright staring up at Derek in near adoration as he walked by on his way to the kitchen.

But I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

Jack immediately frowned, leaning towards Pacey to mutter confidentially, Oh boy, this is bad, dude. Jens starting to quote Notting Hill.

That is unfortunate, Pacey replied dryly.

Nah, man, Jack shook his head. I just mean she only does that when shes drunk. I cant bring her home to Grams drunk. He pulled back to stare at Pacey with a small frown. And whats the matter with Notting Hill?

Pacey only tilted his head to give him a faint smirk, moving away towards the kitchen. Ill go get her some water. Maybe we can start diluting the alcohol in her system.

He had only taken a few steps when he paused to glance back, addressing both of them this time.

Hey, where the hell did Dawson go, by the way?

I thought I saw him heading upstairs a little while ago, Jen shrugged.

Oh, okay, Pacey replied quietly as he turned to continue on his way through the crowd, considering the implications of the fact Dawson had disappeared upstairs, yet to return, and that Cassidy was also still nowhere to be found.

He couldnt help but feel uneasy about this, knowing that Dawson was probably drunk by now and that Dawson didnt usually get drunk. He also knew first hand how aggressive Cassidy could be. But, at the same time, Dawson was a big boy. He didnt need Pacey worrying about him. Worse things could happen than having a beautiful girl throw herself at you.

So, maybe it wasnt Dawson he was worried about.

Pausing in the hallway, he cringed as he saw a girl using one of Gales houseplants as an ashtray, some unsavory looking character going through Mitchs collection of CDs and the coffee table in the den littered with deserted, half full beer cans. Figuring he could transfer some of his guilt over what small part he might have played in this, he grabbed a roll of paper towels and a trash bag from the pantry, walking around to pick up empty cans and wipe up any spills.

He watched as several more people moved their conversation into the den, all of them placing their full beers back down onto the freshly wiped coffee table.

Seriously, would it kill you people to use coasters? He muttered and sighed in exasperation, dealing some out like a stack of cards.

He went back to the kitchen to get Jens water, scanning the room yet again for any sign of Dawson or Cassidy within her group of friends.

He should probably just admit to himself it was Joey he was actually worried about. Of course, she hadnt made an appearance tonight and he didnt really expect her to, having only received a reply in the form of a scoffing sound and roll of her eyes when he brought the subject up while giving her a ride home from school that afternoon.

But this was a small town and an even smaller high school. If anything did happen with Dawson and Cassidy tonight, shed most likely hear about it.

He was about to leave the kitchen when he noticed the barrel was overflowing with cans, some about to spill out onto the floor. Used to doing this particular job, Pacey went over to tie up the bag, hoisting it up in one hand to carry it outside to the covered trash bin.

He was just about to go back into the house, when he thought he heard something. Wandering around to the front yard, he glanced up just in time to see Joey at the top of Dawsons ladder, disappearing from view onto the porch roof.

His face fell with something close to panic as he opened his mouth to call after her, but when nothing came out he realized he had no idea what to say.

Hed tell her to stop, to wait, and probably only get that patented Potter scowl in return as she asked him why? Then just what the hell was he supposed to say?

He dropped his head in resignation instead, turning to go back into the house.

Suddenly, he heard Dawson shouting Joeys name, and turned to see her flying back down that ladder as fast as her feet would carry her, the metal rungs rattling with each step.

Seeing that she was obviously upset, Pacey instinctively moved towards her as she reached the ground, glancing up to do a double take as Dawson then emerged onto the roof, completely shirtless. His mouth really fell open, however, as Joey then grab the sides of the ladder in each hand, shoving it so roughly that it tipped, scraping loudly against the wood shingles of the house to crash slowly to the ground like a fallen timber, landing with a dull thud on the grass only inches from Paceys feet.

He could only stare down at it a moment in something close to shock as she took off running. By the time he looked up again, Dawson was reemerging from the house, only out the front door this time, pulling a shirt on to the whoops, catcalls and shouts of laughter from the partygoers behind him.

Joey, wait... Dawson shouted after her again, but she was long gone.

Pacey shook his head with a heavy sigh and walk over to join him, both of them staring out towards the creek.

I cant believe that just happened, Dawson exclaimed breathlessly, in vague distress. I cant believe she just walked in and saw that.

Pacey frowned slightly as he watched him. And what exactly did she see?

I I dont know, Dawson stammered in confusion as he ran his hand through his hair. It all happened so fast. Cassidy and I were talking and she was saying something...I dont know... something about how she wanted to be a television journalist someday. So I was telling her about my moms job. I was going to show her a videotape I made when I was visiting her at the studio, so we went up to my room.

Next thing I know, we were kissing, Dawson continued with a confused sigh, narrowing his eyes as if he was trying to recall, Then we were on my bed...shirts came off. I mean - that was it, I think - but believe me, Joey saw enough. He placed both hands on his forehead, almost whining now. Oh, this is bad. This is really bad. I never meant to hurt her.

Suddenly, he turned to Pacey in his desperation. You have to go after her. You have to check on her for me.

Oh, no, Pacey chuckled uneasily as he shook his head, his reluctance fueled by guilt. He was already becoming far too invested in Joey Potters life for his own good. If anything, tonight proved that. No, man, sorry. No can do.

Well, I cant go after her, Pacey, Dawson was starting to become visibly frustrated. Im the one who just told her we cant be together. I dont want to run the risk of confusing her or sending mixed messages, and honestly, Im afraid Ive had too much to drink and I wont be thinking clearly if I go after her right now, and shes upset. His voice softened to a pleading tone. But I need to make sure shes okay? Can you do this for me?

Yeah, Pacey finally sighed in defeat, realizing he had no way out. All right.

Thanks, Dawson sighed with some relief. I owe you.

No, Pacey muttered under his breath as he started to walk away. Trust me, you really dont.





Joey hunched over, gripping the rough wooden edges of the dock in her hands, as she tried to fight back the tears, scrunching her eyes so tightly shut and listening only to the blood pounding through her ears from the prior jolt of adrenaline that she didnt even notice him approaching until he was moving to sit down right next to her.

Hey.

She blinked her eyes open, staring out through the dull liquid haze at the dark ripples of moonlight on the creek, barely glancing over at him as she spoke on a shaky breath.

So, I guess youre witness to yet another chapter in the Joey Potter sob story. Poor, motherless girl from the wrong side of the tracks copes with a felon for a father, a slave driver for a boss, and a two-timing boyfriend ex-boyfriend, that is.

Pacey sighed quietly next to her, shifting positions before he replied.

You know, you managed to make it through this summer without throwing yourself a big pity party, Jo. You dont want to start now, do ya?

She shook her head slowly, only continuing to stare forward as the hot tears leaked out onto her cheeks. He could've at least been honest and told me that was his real reason for not wanting to get back together. Then I wouldn't have had to feel like such a fool. Her voice dropped and trembled. I wouldnt have had to show up there tonight at all.

And, once again, she almost laughed, but it was more a sound of bitterness and regret. Shes everything I'm not. My exact opposite. Funny how that always seems to be his type, isnt it? She reached up to quickly swipe her fingers across her damp cheek. Of course, shes probably everything any teenage boy dreams of in a girl.

I dont know about that. Pacey murmured noncommittally, bowing his head a little to stare down into the murky depths of the creek.

And, me? Joey shrugged sadly. I just feel like Im this little kid who constantly gets left behind.

Yeah, I know that feeling, Pacey offered gently, finally turning to watch her, which caused Joey to instinctively avert her eyes. And I also know youre probably not gonna like what I have to say not that you ever like what I have to say but maybe its for the best. Maybe you two just need to be apart right now.

She scowled and shot back defensively, And how would you know what I need, Pacey?

Yeah, you know, you're probably right, he continued, unaffected by her harsh and combative demeanor. How could I possibly know how hard it is to let someone go, or how painful it is to acknowledge that even though you may be right for each other, that doesnt necessarily mean that you are right for each other right now. How sometimes it makes you want to scream or punch someone, or maybe even sit on the end of a dock and cry.

Im not crying, she insisted angrily, closing her eyes again to the sting of tears.

Oh, I know, I know, he assured her without missing a beat, but she did not miss the faint humor in his words. I didnt mean you, per se. Murmuring under his breath, he looked off into the distance. Its probably that freakishly high pollen count were having for this time of year. It was all over the news.

Discreetly wiping at the corner of her eye again, she couldnt help but throw a dubious, but watery smirk his way.

It figures, she shook her head and almost smiled. Out of all the people to see me like this, it had to be you.

He chuckled softly as he turned back to watch her face, tilting his head in an attempt to meet her eyes.

Hey, it's a new year, Joey. Anything could happen if you open yourself up to possibility. You never know...you and I? He shrugged. We could even end up friends.

She could tell by his slow spreading grin he caught the faint trace of her smile, just one corner of her mouth curving up in response, the acknowledgement of something they already were to one another.

Okay, now? She sniffed. Now Im crying.

Paceys grin turned into a small chuckle as he moved to drape one arm around her in a comforting gesture, the playful, yet somehow tender, lilt of his voice telling her he wasnt letting her resist.

Cmere, Potter - would ya?

So, she relented, letting him pull her into a light hug and resting her forehead against his broad shoulder as she closed her eyes with another weepy sigh.

She couldnt believe she was here again. When would she learn?

But it felt good, somewhat cathartic even, to let it all out, feeling strangely at ease with Pacey and glad he was here - someone she never thought shed even learn to tolerate. He felt so strong and solid and real next to her that she could help but lean on him in this moment, finding solace in the mere fact she knew, after all their conversations this summer, he really did understand. Pacey got it.

She finally regained control of her tears, lifting her hand to quickly rub at her eye, and glanced up to meet his gaze.

Thats when everything in her whole world seemed to stop.

She looked into his eyes and - instead of once again replaying the details of tonights mortifying incident - it was every moment he was there for her this summer running through her mind. From that first night he came here, to this very spot on the dock, to check on her, all the way up to that last night on the beach. It was like she could see it all, every moment, clear as a picture in his steady gaze.

She was struck again by just how amazing his eyes really were, how they could exude such warmth and comfort, but something else, too. Something close to an unnamed longing, a sense of anticipation that was almost tangible, yet just out of her reach at the same time. It was as if he somehow physically embodied a summer night, making her feel restless and excited, breathless with its magic.

Pacey seemed to lower his head towards her and in that instant and her whole body stiffened as if preparing for a devastating impact, at the same time imaging - in all her confusion and vulnerability and sadness - how his lips might feel if they ever met hers.

Her eyes seemed to instinctively close as her chin tilted up, and then it was almost as if she could feel it, like the whisper of a promise; soft, gently yielding but possessing something insistent and urgent, too. The sound of his voice and the look in his eyes and the stars in the sky and the rush of the ocean waves all combined into this one undefined thing.

And, as if coming up from underneath that water for a gasping breath of air, Joey suddenly pushed away from his embrace.

I-I need to go. She mumbled on a frown, lowering her eyes to avoid his gaze and moving even further away from him as she pulled up on the dock to stand.

She felt light-headed, unsteady on her feet, her stomach swimming with something like seasickness, feeling like she must have gotten drunk at that party even though she never touched a drop of alcohol.

Jo... Pacey scrambled to stand as well, and took a step towards her. Wait.

No. She abruptly held up a hand up to halt him, and held it there almost protectively, as if she were warning him to keep his distance. I appreciate you coming here to check up on me, Pacey, but I really just want to go inside and go to bed and forget this whole night ever happened. She dropped her head, realizing she couldnt even look him directly in the eyes. Please.

He hesitated, but then nodded his head with a soft sigh, Okay.

Joey turned abruptly to go, placing her hand flat on her stomach in an attempt to calm the turbulence, feeling like she had to get away from him, but also feeling more lost and alone and scared with every step she took.