This story begins as Joey is preparing to graduate from Worthington. There will be some minor alterations to the characters' stories as we saw them happen on the show, but the one major plot point that is different is that Pacey never returned to Boston after sailing away at the end of season four. (Everything that happened prior to that remains the same.)
Hope is A Four Lettered Word
Chapter One
Joey rested her chin in her hand, propping one elbow on the table and picking absently at her dinner with the fork in her opposite hand as she let out a quiet sigh.
Are we keeping you awake here, Joey?
Startled out of her thoughts, she looked up quickly and was met by the familiar smirk of her older sister from across the kitchen table.
Huh? She frowned, shaking her head. Um, no. Sorry, I guess I zoned out there a minute. Were you saying something?
Well, obviously nothing of interest. Bessie laughed with a shrug, returning her attention to her own meal.
Joey held in her sigh this time, bringing herself back to the present, shaking off the momentary lapse. Over the years, the times she had caught herself doing this had become fewer and farther between, but it still happened on occasion. Someone from class would be talking to her about an assignment, a friend would be telling her a story over drinks in a bar, her roommate would be complaining about her boyfriend, but Joey would be gone.
Her mind traveling to some other place. Some other time.
She sat up straighter in her chair to focus her attention on her nephew, feeling like she had to force the smile. So, what time is the big game tomorrow?
Youre really coming? Alexander mumbled through a mouthful of food, his eyes lighting up.
Of course I am. Joeys smile softened, becoming more genuine.
Finish chewing before you speak. Bessie murmured next to him in mild amusement.
The little boy cast his mother a guilty glance before swallowing, returning his eyes to Joey. We have to be there by 8:30 for warm-up practice, but it really starts at nine.
Then nine, it is. Joey picked up her dinner plate, quickly turning her body to shield it from Bessies prying eyes, thereby avoiding any commentary on her barely touched portions. Ill be there to see you throw out the first pitch.
Alexander turned towards Bodie at the other end of the table. Dad, can we go out a throw a few before it gets too dark?
Weve got to help Mom clean up first. Bodie stood from his chair, nodding towards the boys now empty plate.
Ill help her. Joey turned from the sink to take the dishes from Bodies hand. Its the least I can do for the free room and board. You guys go ahead.
Bessie stood from her seat as well, smiling affectionately as she watched them head out together, both grabbing their respective baseball caps off the hat rack by the door. She crossed the kitchen to the sink, glancing over at Joey as she joined her there.
So, I take it that was Evan who called earlier?
Joey nodded. To let me know hed arrived safely in Michigan. Alone. She paused with a sad sigh. And probably to see whether or not I was feeling appropriately guilty about that.
Bessie arched an eyebrow. And, are you? Feeling guilty?
Well, I suppose I should right? At least a little bit? Joey lifted her dark gaze to meet her sisters eyes. I did sort of bail on him last minute, Bess.
My question was not if you should. Bessie responded pointedly. It was if you did.
Joey pursed her lips a moment, as if in deep concentration. No. No, I dont really feel guilty, to tell you the honest truth. I feelI feel more like Im relieved. She slumped to lean against the kitchen counter, as if she was relieved to actually admit that. I knew when he told me he wanted me to come home with him for his parents anniversary that there was more to it than the fact his family was having this big party. Hes been so focused on graduation coming up and what our future plans were going to be, specifically what my plans were going to be, that what hes not saying is as loud and clear as what he is saying, you know?
Bessie nodded her head with a smile as she listened.
It dawned on me that there might be a reason as to why he suddenly wanted me to meet his parents after all this time, especially since it seems all hes talked about the last few weeks is how he wants to have a lasting marriage like theirs, and how he knows exactly what hes looking for in someone to settle down with. Her voice dropped in sarcasm. You dont exactly tell your girlfriend something like that and then turn around and say, and, oh, hey, by the way, its definitely not you.
So what happens when he comes back? Bessie watched her. Maybe you can hide out here all weekend, but you still have to go back to Boston come Monday morning. The Worthington campus is not that big. Have you thought about how youre going to break it him?
Joey frowned as she mumbled uncertainly, Break what to him?
Bessie rolled her eyes. Joey, these guys you go out with may not see it coming but, believe me, I can clearly see the signs when you have decided a relationship is over.
And what are these so-called signs?
Number one? Bessie smirked. You suddenly show up unannounced in Capeside.
Joey pushed away from the kitchen counter to continue clearing the table. Gee, way to make your little sister feel welcome.
Bessie laughed as she turned back to rinsing off the plates. Oh, right. Dont give me that. You know we love having you here. Didnt you see Alexanders face when you said you were going to go to his Little League game tomorrow? I just find your timing on some of these impromptu visits to be rather amusing, is all. I know its nice to be able to get out of Dodge when you need to, but dont forget you have just as many old beaus here lurking the streets of Capes Bessies voice abruptly drifted off, taking her smile with it.
What? Joey watched her face curiously as she rejoined her at the sink, passing over the last of the dishes. What do you mean by that? She paused before continuing with a quiet weariness in her tone. Is Dawson home this weekend? I didnt know that.
No. Bessie sighed, staring at the plates in front of her before meeting Joeys questioning gaze. I wasnt talking about Dawson.
Joey shook her head slowly, confused. Well, what are you talking about then?
Pacey. Pacey Witter. Bessie replied carefully. Hes back in Capeside, Joey.
Joeys face fell as her heart skipped a beat, her knuckles whitening as she suddenly gripped onto the edge of the kitchen counter. Pacey? She barely got his name out, swallowing a breath as she attempted to compose herself. Pacey is back in town? Since when? Did you see him? Her eyes narrowed accusingly. And why didnt you tell me this earlier?
Bessie sighed again. I dont know. I guess I thought you had enough to deal with when you told me about Evan.
Joey frowned, casting her eyes to the floor, still holding onto the counter. I cant believe hes back. Its been what? Almost
Four years. Bessie finished for her. He said he hadnt been home in almost four years.
He said? Joey jerked her head back up to stare at her sister. Bessie, have you actually talked to him?
Bessie nodded, explaining. I had to run into the restaurant to drop something off to Bodie at work the other day and so I double parked on that side street by the marina. When I came back out, there he was just standing there. As it turns out I had actually blocked his truck in, so, you know, we talked a while. Hesitating uncertainly, she rushed to add. And he asked all about you, of course. I told him that youd be graduating in two months and he seemed genuinely happy and excited for you.
Bessie watched Joey a moment, continuing when she made no attempt to respond. Hes only been back a couple of weeks. Apparently hes been in living Miami the past few years and decided it wasnt for him. A friend of Dougs was looking for a partner in a charter business hes starting up and its exactly the kind of opportunity Pacey has been looking for, a chance to work for himself, so he picked up and moved back here. I dont think hes even got a place to live yet. Bessie shrugged. Because he mentioned he was just staying at the marina on his boat.
His boat? Joey repeated the words softly, staring off blankly into space.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah. Im fine. Joey replied absently, shaking her head as she gave her a quick smile. You just caught me off guard and, um, its been so long since Ive heard his name that I had to process it all for a minute.
Bessie lowered her voice gently. You two never kept in touch at all? This whole time?
Oh, he called. Joey nodded, the smile firmly in place although her liquid eyes were shimmering. Twice. Twice in four years. She cleared her throat, shrugging as she motioned towards the kitchen door. You know, I have to get some reading done, and I wanted to get up early tomorrow to get a run in before Aleaxanders game, so I think I might just go to my room. She paused as she started to walk away, sounding distracted. Unless, um, you still need help cleaning up.
No. You go ahead. Bessie replied, suppressing her sad sigh of concern as she watched her walk away.
Joey flipped on the lamp next to her bed when she reached her room, the last fading rays of the sunset creeping across the hardwood pine floorboards, stealing the daylight away. Closing the door quietly behind her, she passed by the textbooks stacked next to her laptop on her desk without even a cursory glance, crossing the room to her armoire. She had to rise up on her toes to reach the storage shelf above the closet rod, and then slid her hand underneath the woolen ski sweaters folded neatly on top. The tips of her fingers finally bumped against a hard edge, and she grasped it in her hand, dragging the picture frame out from under the sweater pile.
She held it in her hand as she aimlessly wandered back towards her bed, dropping down to sit on the edge of the mattress. Lightly running her finger over the glass protecting the black and white photograph, she sat there a long while, wondering why it was she couldnt remember what that assignment was in her history class for Tuesday, or what was the punch line of that joke her friend told her over drinks last Thursday night, or what it was exactly that her roommates boyfriend had done to piss her off so badly this week.
Yet she could still remember every single word he was whispering in her ear in this one moment in time over four years ago.
Joey smiled and waved from where she sat in the old wooden bleachers at Seaside Park, watching the other players surround Alexander on the pitchers mound to pat him on the back before they all crossed the field to shake the hands of the opposing team. He raced over to her as soon as they were done, breathless and excited.
Great job! She gave him a little cheer, standing up to make her way down and joining him in the field.
Matthews dad is taking a bunch of us out for lunch to that pizza place on Route 6. They have batting cages and an arcade there. He explained. You can probably come too, if you want.
Ummm. Joey narrowed her eyes as if she were carefully considering the offer. As tempting as that sounds, Alexander, I think Im going to have to pass. I came right here from my run, so I really need to get home and shower. But you go have fun. You deserve it after that game you just pitched.
The boy grinned happily before he turned to rejoin his friends. Okay. Ill see you later, Aunt Joey!
Joeys smile faded as she watched him depart with the other players. She adjusted her messy ponytail, swiping the hair off her forehead, still damp with sweat. She was still in her running gear, spandex shorts and a thin white tank top, so that the breeze coming in off the distant ocean chilled her. But, instead of turning towards home, she started off in the direction of that unrelenting wind, in the direction of the water, determinedly heading towards the marina.
It wasnt until she had actually reached the boat slips, however, that she could admit to herself this was her destination. She wandered down the swaying boat dock, the wooden boards creaking under her feet with each step. Hesitating, she raised her hand to shield her eyes from the suns glare reflecting off the water and gazed around her, not knowing what she was looking for as much as she knew exactly what she was looking for.
She had only traveled halfway down the dock that stretched out into Capeside harbor before she saw him, his back turned to her as he stood at the end of one of the slips. Part of her was ready to dismiss it as some kind of apparition, as she was so conditioned after all these years to only discover the disappointing reality of a strangers face. Her heart began to pound inside her chest as she started forward towards him on shaky legs, knowing that this time the possibility actually existed. This time it really could be him.
When she heard his voice, the sound seemed to shoot through her whole body, awakening a thousand memories in her. He was calling out a greeting to an elderly man who had appeared from below the deck of the boat docked next to his (or, at least the boat Joey imagined was probably his) before he returned to what he was doing, hosing down the side of the hull as he hummed a vaguely familiar tune to himself.
He threw a quick glance in her direction when Joey had almost reached him, and she caught a flash of blue from his eyes that made her heart skip a beat. Slowing her steps, she watched as he then returned his attention to his work, only to stop abruptly, turning more slowly this time to outright stare at her, squinting his eyes in the sun as if he wasnt sure what he saw.
Joey?
Hey. She smiled uncertainly and shrugged her shoulders, her name somehow sounding different, as if no one else in the world had ever said it that way.
He dropped the hose in his hand, stepping forward as if he was going to hug her and then hesitating before he actually did.
Hey. His deep voice rumbled through her as he embraced her lightly, carefully, before quickly releasing her. I cant believe its really you. He laughed almost nervously, quickly rubbing his hand over his short dark hair as he stepped back to appraise her.
Believe it. Its me. She smiled, lifting her hands up in a helpless gesture, still feeling his strong arms wrapped around her, the faint lingering aroma of some unknown aftershave mixed with the scent of him, a blend of sea and sky and something else. Something warm and familiar and achingly wonderful.
Damn. He shook his head in near disbelief, his gaze still traveling over her. I was just thinking about you.
Joey nodded, stammering on some of her words. Yeah, um, I happened to come home for the weekend and Bessie told me she had seen you and I was, ah, out for a run so I figured Id swing by to say hello.
Hello. He smiled softly, finally meeting her eyes.
Hello. Joey responded in kind, feeling the nervous heat flush her cheeks as she let out a soft sigh.
He continued to hold her gaze. Its been a long time.
She only responded with a slow nod of her head, the image of him she had carried so long in her memory fading, blurring, adapting, changing into this person now standing in front of her. He was taller than she remembered, but somehow broader, too, as if he had filled out, grown into his lanky frame. His hair was different, and she couldnt figure out if it was actually longer or shorter than she remembered, but it suited him. His blue eyes stood out against his tan, and she kept being drawn to them, as much as she tried to avert her gaze.
So, Bessie told me youre graduating next month.
She took a deep breath, recognizing that he was trying to encourage her to talk, realizing that she had been standing there staring at him. Yeah, I cant believe it almost over. Its a strange feeling.
Pacey dropped his head with a nod of acknowledgement. Well, congratulations. I, ahwell, Bessie couldnt stop talking about how proud she was of you. Its an amazing accomplishment, Jo. He lifted his eyes to hers with a smile. Not that I ever doubted for a second that you could do it.
Joey gave him a small grin. So, what about you? She said you told her something about a charter business?
Yeah, it looks like were actually going to have it up and going by June. This guy Im partners with owns a space in the marina down in Chandler Cove, so the business will be based out of there.
So this is it? Joey arched an eyebrow. Youre back in Capeside?
Looks that way. Pacey chuckled. Despite all my best efforts to become a vagabond.
But werent you settled in one place down in Florida?
Pacey glanced at her in almost surprise. Um, yeah. I guess you could say that.
There was an awkward pause, both of them shifting positions as they stood there facing one another, and then they both started to speak at exactly the same time.
Sorry. Joey mumbled with a small laugh.
No, you go ahead. He grinned.
Well, Bessie mentioned you told her you were staying here, on your boat. Joey shrugged, her words spilling out, tumbling into the air before she could catch them. So I figured that maybe Id extend an invitation for dinner some
Pacey, I still cant get that hot water in the bathroom to work right for me.
Joey was suddenly cut off by a soft voice, and glanced up in the direction from which it came to see a young woman about her age emerge from below deck of the boat they were standing in front of.
She was tall and slender, the sun bouncing off the shiny gold highlights in her long light brown hair. She was wearing a man's oversized gray hooded sweatshirt, unzipped to reveal a tiny bikini top that barely covered her perfectly round breasts, and her skin was a similar golden tan, which made her large, almond-shaped pale blue eyes stand out, giving her an almost exotic appearance.
Oh, hello. She smiled curiously when she saw Joey, her sweet and child-like voice somewhat disarming, not seeming to fit with her rather sexy and seductive appearance.
Joey returned the smile, although with a bit more apprehension. Hello.
Pacey motioned with his hand. Lissa, this is Joey Potter. His voice lowered imperceptibly, cutting his introduction shorter. Joey, Lissa.
Nice to meet you, Joey.
Joey and I grew up here in Capeside together. Pacey explained, dropping his head.
Oh, really? Lissa seemed genuinely interested and pleased to hear this. Well, let me tell you, I think Im going to love it here. I always wanted to come to New England. And its exactly how I always pictured it to be. Everything is sooh, whats the word Im looking for? Quaint, I guess.
Yeah, I keep telling her she wont think its so quaint when November rolls around. Pacey chuckled, busying himself with returning the hose to the supply bin on the dock.
He thinks I wont be able to handle it. The cold weather. I was born in southern Miami and have lived there most of my life. She explained to Joey, before turning to Pacey and raising her voice in mild protest. I did just fine all those times we went skiing in Aspen, didnt I? And what about all those magazine shoots Ive done up in Canada?
Thats not quite the same thing. Pacey raised his eyebrows in amusement. A team of personal assistants wont be following you around with portable space heaters here, for one.
Well, well just see, Mr. Know-it-all. She wrinkled her nose at him in a way that Joey imagined most men would probably find adorable.
But Joey suddenly wasnt much in the mood for cute.
You know, Im sorry, but Ive really got to get back. She motioned with her hand over her shoulder as she took a step backwards in that direction. I told Bessie I was only going out for a run and she needed my help with something back at the B&B, so Her voice trailed of as she shrugged her shoulders in vague explanation.
Oh. Pacey stopped what he was doing, his face registering some disappointment as he stared at her. Okay. Well, um, I was going to say maybe we could all get together some night this week, but I guess you have to head back to Boston, huh? He scratched thoughtfully at the scruff on his chin.
Yep. That I do. Joeys smile felt tight on her face.
Well, it was great seeing you, Jo. His voice lowered with some resignation as he met her eyes, and Joey inexplicably wished he hadnt just called her that. Maybe well get a chance to catch up soon.
Yeah. Maybe. She quickly tore her eyes away to smile at Lissa. It was nice meeting you.
Oh, you, too. She smiled back, giving her a small wave of her perfectly manicured hand.
Joey abruptly turned away, the heat that had been rising up in her cheeks ever since she first saw Pacey now burning with a fiery intensity. When she reached the boat ramp, she fell into a jog, continuing her run through the marina parking lot as she started towards home.
She seemed nice. Lissa commented once they were alone, pulling Pacey from his thoughts where he stood watching Joey depart.
Yeah. He replied absently. We go back a long way, her and I.
And you obviously dated.
He glanced up at her with a mild smirk. And what makes you say that?
Womens intuition. Smiling serenely at him, she narrowed her eyes playfully. So, as I was saying. Her tone became matter-of-fact. I cant get the hot water in the bathroom to stay hot. And now Im getting hungry and you promised to take me out to lunch. She gave him a teasing pout. I might have to mutiny on your ass.
Pacey grinned, shaking his head. Just let me finish up here, princess.
Well, how long? Now the pout was official.
Another twenty minutes. A half hour at most. I just want to wash down the other side of the boat.
Well, in that case. She sighed in defeat, turning back towards the cabin. I think Im going to go take a nap. Wake me when youre ready to go. Her voice drifted back up as she disappeared below deck, sweet and sultry and filled with promise. Or you could come join me if you want. I might get lonely down here in this big bed all by myself.
Pacey only smiled, not really hearing her, his eyes still lingering on the distant marina parking lot, his thoughts even farther away than that.
Seriously, Jen, if we are talking the most embarrassing experiences in my life, it would definitely be in the top ten.
But Im still not quite sure I understand. Jen curled up in the wicker chair, tucking her bare feet under her body as she carefully balanced the glass of wine in her hand. What is there to be embarrassed about again?
Because I was a mess! Joey exclaimed from where she was slumped in the matching wicker love seat on Grams front porch. I had literally rolled out of bed and into my running clothes. I hadnt showered. My hair was a disaster. And all the while Im talking to him, standing there looking like that, and hes got some supermodel stowed away on board.
Are we sure shes a model? Jen cut in thoughtfully.
I told you this already. She said something about doing magazine shoots in Canada. There was a hint of exasperation in Joeys voice.
Well, perhaps shes a photojournalist. Jen suggested with a giggle.
Oh, sure. Trapped in the body of a game show hostess. Joey responded darkly, taking a long sip of her wine. Thanks a lot. I feel so much better now.
So, its the looking good is the best revenge angle youve got working here? Jen finally nodded her head in understanding. Is that it?
Well, not when you say it like that. Joey muttered with a frown, before sitting forward to run her hand through her hair. Its not like I feel as if I have to exact some kind of revenge on him.
Hmm. But he did leave town without a word. Let months pass before he ever called you to even let you know he was alive.
Well, it wasnt all that drastic. I mean, I knew he was alive. Joey shrugged. And wed already been broken up before he actually left, so I cant really hold that against him.
Jen watched her a moment. So, tell me. How did he look?
He looked good. Joey murmured softly, raising her eyebrows as she gazed out through the screen door towards the creek. He looked really good. He looked grown up. She returned her gaze to Jen. He looked happy.
And wasnt that what you said you always wanted for him? Jen offered gently.
I suppose. Joey sighed tiredly with a sad smile. Its just that Her voice trailed off before she finished her thought.
That you wanted him to be happy while still pining away for you for the rest of his life?
Joey met Jens smirk with one of her own.
Yeah, something like that.
Hope is A Four Lettered Word
Chapter One
~**~
Joey rested her chin in her hand, propping one elbow on the table and picking absently at her dinner with the fork in her opposite hand as she let out a quiet sigh.
Are we keeping you awake here, Joey?
Startled out of her thoughts, she looked up quickly and was met by the familiar smirk of her older sister from across the kitchen table.
Huh? She frowned, shaking her head. Um, no. Sorry, I guess I zoned out there a minute. Were you saying something?
Well, obviously nothing of interest. Bessie laughed with a shrug, returning her attention to her own meal.
Joey held in her sigh this time, bringing herself back to the present, shaking off the momentary lapse. Over the years, the times she had caught herself doing this had become fewer and farther between, but it still happened on occasion. Someone from class would be talking to her about an assignment, a friend would be telling her a story over drinks in a bar, her roommate would be complaining about her boyfriend, but Joey would be gone.
Her mind traveling to some other place. Some other time.
She sat up straighter in her chair to focus her attention on her nephew, feeling like she had to force the smile. So, what time is the big game tomorrow?
Youre really coming? Alexander mumbled through a mouthful of food, his eyes lighting up.
Of course I am. Joeys smile softened, becoming more genuine.
Finish chewing before you speak. Bessie murmured next to him in mild amusement.
The little boy cast his mother a guilty glance before swallowing, returning his eyes to Joey. We have to be there by 8:30 for warm-up practice, but it really starts at nine.
Then nine, it is. Joey picked up her dinner plate, quickly turning her body to shield it from Bessies prying eyes, thereby avoiding any commentary on her barely touched portions. Ill be there to see you throw out the first pitch.
Alexander turned towards Bodie at the other end of the table. Dad, can we go out a throw a few before it gets too dark?
Weve got to help Mom clean up first. Bodie stood from his chair, nodding towards the boys now empty plate.
Ill help her. Joey turned from the sink to take the dishes from Bodies hand. Its the least I can do for the free room and board. You guys go ahead.
Bessie stood from her seat as well, smiling affectionately as she watched them head out together, both grabbing their respective baseball caps off the hat rack by the door. She crossed the kitchen to the sink, glancing over at Joey as she joined her there.
So, I take it that was Evan who called earlier?
Joey nodded. To let me know hed arrived safely in Michigan. Alone. She paused with a sad sigh. And probably to see whether or not I was feeling appropriately guilty about that.
Bessie arched an eyebrow. And, are you? Feeling guilty?
Well, I suppose I should right? At least a little bit? Joey lifted her dark gaze to meet her sisters eyes. I did sort of bail on him last minute, Bess.
My question was not if you should. Bessie responded pointedly. It was if you did.
Joey pursed her lips a moment, as if in deep concentration. No. No, I dont really feel guilty, to tell you the honest truth. I feelI feel more like Im relieved. She slumped to lean against the kitchen counter, as if she was relieved to actually admit that. I knew when he told me he wanted me to come home with him for his parents anniversary that there was more to it than the fact his family was having this big party. Hes been so focused on graduation coming up and what our future plans were going to be, specifically what my plans were going to be, that what hes not saying is as loud and clear as what he is saying, you know?
Bessie nodded her head with a smile as she listened.
It dawned on me that there might be a reason as to why he suddenly wanted me to meet his parents after all this time, especially since it seems all hes talked about the last few weeks is how he wants to have a lasting marriage like theirs, and how he knows exactly what hes looking for in someone to settle down with. Her voice dropped in sarcasm. You dont exactly tell your girlfriend something like that and then turn around and say, and, oh, hey, by the way, its definitely not you.
So what happens when he comes back? Bessie watched her. Maybe you can hide out here all weekend, but you still have to go back to Boston come Monday morning. The Worthington campus is not that big. Have you thought about how youre going to break it him?
Joey frowned as she mumbled uncertainly, Break what to him?
Bessie rolled her eyes. Joey, these guys you go out with may not see it coming but, believe me, I can clearly see the signs when you have decided a relationship is over.
And what are these so-called signs?
Number one? Bessie smirked. You suddenly show up unannounced in Capeside.
Joey pushed away from the kitchen counter to continue clearing the table. Gee, way to make your little sister feel welcome.
Bessie laughed as she turned back to rinsing off the plates. Oh, right. Dont give me that. You know we love having you here. Didnt you see Alexanders face when you said you were going to go to his Little League game tomorrow? I just find your timing on some of these impromptu visits to be rather amusing, is all. I know its nice to be able to get out of Dodge when you need to, but dont forget you have just as many old beaus here lurking the streets of Capes Bessies voice abruptly drifted off, taking her smile with it.
What? Joey watched her face curiously as she rejoined her at the sink, passing over the last of the dishes. What do you mean by that? She paused before continuing with a quiet weariness in her tone. Is Dawson home this weekend? I didnt know that.
No. Bessie sighed, staring at the plates in front of her before meeting Joeys questioning gaze. I wasnt talking about Dawson.
Joey shook her head slowly, confused. Well, what are you talking about then?
Pacey. Pacey Witter. Bessie replied carefully. Hes back in Capeside, Joey.
Joeys face fell as her heart skipped a beat, her knuckles whitening as she suddenly gripped onto the edge of the kitchen counter. Pacey? She barely got his name out, swallowing a breath as she attempted to compose herself. Pacey is back in town? Since when? Did you see him? Her eyes narrowed accusingly. And why didnt you tell me this earlier?
Bessie sighed again. I dont know. I guess I thought you had enough to deal with when you told me about Evan.
Joey frowned, casting her eyes to the floor, still holding onto the counter. I cant believe hes back. Its been what? Almost
Four years. Bessie finished for her. He said he hadnt been home in almost four years.
He said? Joey jerked her head back up to stare at her sister. Bessie, have you actually talked to him?
Bessie nodded, explaining. I had to run into the restaurant to drop something off to Bodie at work the other day and so I double parked on that side street by the marina. When I came back out, there he was just standing there. As it turns out I had actually blocked his truck in, so, you know, we talked a while. Hesitating uncertainly, she rushed to add. And he asked all about you, of course. I told him that youd be graduating in two months and he seemed genuinely happy and excited for you.
Bessie watched Joey a moment, continuing when she made no attempt to respond. Hes only been back a couple of weeks. Apparently hes been in living Miami the past few years and decided it wasnt for him. A friend of Dougs was looking for a partner in a charter business hes starting up and its exactly the kind of opportunity Pacey has been looking for, a chance to work for himself, so he picked up and moved back here. I dont think hes even got a place to live yet. Bessie shrugged. Because he mentioned he was just staying at the marina on his boat.
His boat? Joey repeated the words softly, staring off blankly into space.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah. Im fine. Joey replied absently, shaking her head as she gave her a quick smile. You just caught me off guard and, um, its been so long since Ive heard his name that I had to process it all for a minute.
Bessie lowered her voice gently. You two never kept in touch at all? This whole time?
Oh, he called. Joey nodded, the smile firmly in place although her liquid eyes were shimmering. Twice. Twice in four years. She cleared her throat, shrugging as she motioned towards the kitchen door. You know, I have to get some reading done, and I wanted to get up early tomorrow to get a run in before Aleaxanders game, so I think I might just go to my room. She paused as she started to walk away, sounding distracted. Unless, um, you still need help cleaning up.
No. You go ahead. Bessie replied, suppressing her sad sigh of concern as she watched her walk away.
Joey flipped on the lamp next to her bed when she reached her room, the last fading rays of the sunset creeping across the hardwood pine floorboards, stealing the daylight away. Closing the door quietly behind her, she passed by the textbooks stacked next to her laptop on her desk without even a cursory glance, crossing the room to her armoire. She had to rise up on her toes to reach the storage shelf above the closet rod, and then slid her hand underneath the woolen ski sweaters folded neatly on top. The tips of her fingers finally bumped against a hard edge, and she grasped it in her hand, dragging the picture frame out from under the sweater pile.
She held it in her hand as she aimlessly wandered back towards her bed, dropping down to sit on the edge of the mattress. Lightly running her finger over the glass protecting the black and white photograph, she sat there a long while, wondering why it was she couldnt remember what that assignment was in her history class for Tuesday, or what was the punch line of that joke her friend told her over drinks last Thursday night, or what it was exactly that her roommates boyfriend had done to piss her off so badly this week.
Yet she could still remember every single word he was whispering in her ear in this one moment in time over four years ago.
~**~
Joey smiled and waved from where she sat in the old wooden bleachers at Seaside Park, watching the other players surround Alexander on the pitchers mound to pat him on the back before they all crossed the field to shake the hands of the opposing team. He raced over to her as soon as they were done, breathless and excited.
Great job! She gave him a little cheer, standing up to make her way down and joining him in the field.
Matthews dad is taking a bunch of us out for lunch to that pizza place on Route 6. They have batting cages and an arcade there. He explained. You can probably come too, if you want.
Ummm. Joey narrowed her eyes as if she were carefully considering the offer. As tempting as that sounds, Alexander, I think Im going to have to pass. I came right here from my run, so I really need to get home and shower. But you go have fun. You deserve it after that game you just pitched.
The boy grinned happily before he turned to rejoin his friends. Okay. Ill see you later, Aunt Joey!
Joeys smile faded as she watched him depart with the other players. She adjusted her messy ponytail, swiping the hair off her forehead, still damp with sweat. She was still in her running gear, spandex shorts and a thin white tank top, so that the breeze coming in off the distant ocean chilled her. But, instead of turning towards home, she started off in the direction of that unrelenting wind, in the direction of the water, determinedly heading towards the marina.
It wasnt until she had actually reached the boat slips, however, that she could admit to herself this was her destination. She wandered down the swaying boat dock, the wooden boards creaking under her feet with each step. Hesitating, she raised her hand to shield her eyes from the suns glare reflecting off the water and gazed around her, not knowing what she was looking for as much as she knew exactly what she was looking for.
She had only traveled halfway down the dock that stretched out into Capeside harbor before she saw him, his back turned to her as he stood at the end of one of the slips. Part of her was ready to dismiss it as some kind of apparition, as she was so conditioned after all these years to only discover the disappointing reality of a strangers face. Her heart began to pound inside her chest as she started forward towards him on shaky legs, knowing that this time the possibility actually existed. This time it really could be him.
When she heard his voice, the sound seemed to shoot through her whole body, awakening a thousand memories in her. He was calling out a greeting to an elderly man who had appeared from below the deck of the boat docked next to his (or, at least the boat Joey imagined was probably his) before he returned to what he was doing, hosing down the side of the hull as he hummed a vaguely familiar tune to himself.
He threw a quick glance in her direction when Joey had almost reached him, and she caught a flash of blue from his eyes that made her heart skip a beat. Slowing her steps, she watched as he then returned his attention to his work, only to stop abruptly, turning more slowly this time to outright stare at her, squinting his eyes in the sun as if he wasnt sure what he saw.
Joey?
Hey. She smiled uncertainly and shrugged her shoulders, her name somehow sounding different, as if no one else in the world had ever said it that way.
He dropped the hose in his hand, stepping forward as if he was going to hug her and then hesitating before he actually did.
Hey. His deep voice rumbled through her as he embraced her lightly, carefully, before quickly releasing her. I cant believe its really you. He laughed almost nervously, quickly rubbing his hand over his short dark hair as he stepped back to appraise her.
Believe it. Its me. She smiled, lifting her hands up in a helpless gesture, still feeling his strong arms wrapped around her, the faint lingering aroma of some unknown aftershave mixed with the scent of him, a blend of sea and sky and something else. Something warm and familiar and achingly wonderful.
Damn. He shook his head in near disbelief, his gaze still traveling over her. I was just thinking about you.
Joey nodded, stammering on some of her words. Yeah, um, I happened to come home for the weekend and Bessie told me she had seen you and I was, ah, out for a run so I figured Id swing by to say hello.
Hello. He smiled softly, finally meeting her eyes.
Hello. Joey responded in kind, feeling the nervous heat flush her cheeks as she let out a soft sigh.
He continued to hold her gaze. Its been a long time.
She only responded with a slow nod of her head, the image of him she had carried so long in her memory fading, blurring, adapting, changing into this person now standing in front of her. He was taller than she remembered, but somehow broader, too, as if he had filled out, grown into his lanky frame. His hair was different, and she couldnt figure out if it was actually longer or shorter than she remembered, but it suited him. His blue eyes stood out against his tan, and she kept being drawn to them, as much as she tried to avert her gaze.
So, Bessie told me youre graduating next month.
She took a deep breath, recognizing that he was trying to encourage her to talk, realizing that she had been standing there staring at him. Yeah, I cant believe it almost over. Its a strange feeling.
Pacey dropped his head with a nod of acknowledgement. Well, congratulations. I, ahwell, Bessie couldnt stop talking about how proud she was of you. Its an amazing accomplishment, Jo. He lifted his eyes to hers with a smile. Not that I ever doubted for a second that you could do it.
Joey gave him a small grin. So, what about you? She said you told her something about a charter business?
Yeah, it looks like were actually going to have it up and going by June. This guy Im partners with owns a space in the marina down in Chandler Cove, so the business will be based out of there.
So this is it? Joey arched an eyebrow. Youre back in Capeside?
Looks that way. Pacey chuckled. Despite all my best efforts to become a vagabond.
But werent you settled in one place down in Florida?
Pacey glanced at her in almost surprise. Um, yeah. I guess you could say that.
There was an awkward pause, both of them shifting positions as they stood there facing one another, and then they both started to speak at exactly the same time.
Sorry. Joey mumbled with a small laugh.
No, you go ahead. He grinned.
Well, Bessie mentioned you told her you were staying here, on your boat. Joey shrugged, her words spilling out, tumbling into the air before she could catch them. So I figured that maybe Id extend an invitation for dinner some
Pacey, I still cant get that hot water in the bathroom to work right for me.
Joey was suddenly cut off by a soft voice, and glanced up in the direction from which it came to see a young woman about her age emerge from below deck of the boat they were standing in front of.
She was tall and slender, the sun bouncing off the shiny gold highlights in her long light brown hair. She was wearing a man's oversized gray hooded sweatshirt, unzipped to reveal a tiny bikini top that barely covered her perfectly round breasts, and her skin was a similar golden tan, which made her large, almond-shaped pale blue eyes stand out, giving her an almost exotic appearance.
Oh, hello. She smiled curiously when she saw Joey, her sweet and child-like voice somewhat disarming, not seeming to fit with her rather sexy and seductive appearance.
Joey returned the smile, although with a bit more apprehension. Hello.
Pacey motioned with his hand. Lissa, this is Joey Potter. His voice lowered imperceptibly, cutting his introduction shorter. Joey, Lissa.
Nice to meet you, Joey.
Joey and I grew up here in Capeside together. Pacey explained, dropping his head.
Oh, really? Lissa seemed genuinely interested and pleased to hear this. Well, let me tell you, I think Im going to love it here. I always wanted to come to New England. And its exactly how I always pictured it to be. Everything is sooh, whats the word Im looking for? Quaint, I guess.
Yeah, I keep telling her she wont think its so quaint when November rolls around. Pacey chuckled, busying himself with returning the hose to the supply bin on the dock.
He thinks I wont be able to handle it. The cold weather. I was born in southern Miami and have lived there most of my life. She explained to Joey, before turning to Pacey and raising her voice in mild protest. I did just fine all those times we went skiing in Aspen, didnt I? And what about all those magazine shoots Ive done up in Canada?
Thats not quite the same thing. Pacey raised his eyebrows in amusement. A team of personal assistants wont be following you around with portable space heaters here, for one.
Well, well just see, Mr. Know-it-all. She wrinkled her nose at him in a way that Joey imagined most men would probably find adorable.
But Joey suddenly wasnt much in the mood for cute.
You know, Im sorry, but Ive really got to get back. She motioned with her hand over her shoulder as she took a step backwards in that direction. I told Bessie I was only going out for a run and she needed my help with something back at the B&B, so Her voice trailed of as she shrugged her shoulders in vague explanation.
Oh. Pacey stopped what he was doing, his face registering some disappointment as he stared at her. Okay. Well, um, I was going to say maybe we could all get together some night this week, but I guess you have to head back to Boston, huh? He scratched thoughtfully at the scruff on his chin.
Yep. That I do. Joeys smile felt tight on her face.
Well, it was great seeing you, Jo. His voice lowered with some resignation as he met her eyes, and Joey inexplicably wished he hadnt just called her that. Maybe well get a chance to catch up soon.
Yeah. Maybe. She quickly tore her eyes away to smile at Lissa. It was nice meeting you.
Oh, you, too. She smiled back, giving her a small wave of her perfectly manicured hand.
Joey abruptly turned away, the heat that had been rising up in her cheeks ever since she first saw Pacey now burning with a fiery intensity. When she reached the boat ramp, she fell into a jog, continuing her run through the marina parking lot as she started towards home.
She seemed nice. Lissa commented once they were alone, pulling Pacey from his thoughts where he stood watching Joey depart.
Yeah. He replied absently. We go back a long way, her and I.
And you obviously dated.
He glanced up at her with a mild smirk. And what makes you say that?
Womens intuition. Smiling serenely at him, she narrowed her eyes playfully. So, as I was saying. Her tone became matter-of-fact. I cant get the hot water in the bathroom to stay hot. And now Im getting hungry and you promised to take me out to lunch. She gave him a teasing pout. I might have to mutiny on your ass.
Pacey grinned, shaking his head. Just let me finish up here, princess.
Well, how long? Now the pout was official.
Another twenty minutes. A half hour at most. I just want to wash down the other side of the boat.
Well, in that case. She sighed in defeat, turning back towards the cabin. I think Im going to go take a nap. Wake me when youre ready to go. Her voice drifted back up as she disappeared below deck, sweet and sultry and filled with promise. Or you could come join me if you want. I might get lonely down here in this big bed all by myself.
Pacey only smiled, not really hearing her, his eyes still lingering on the distant marina parking lot, his thoughts even farther away than that.
~**~
Seriously, Jen, if we are talking the most embarrassing experiences in my life, it would definitely be in the top ten.
But Im still not quite sure I understand. Jen curled up in the wicker chair, tucking her bare feet under her body as she carefully balanced the glass of wine in her hand. What is there to be embarrassed about again?
Because I was a mess! Joey exclaimed from where she was slumped in the matching wicker love seat on Grams front porch. I had literally rolled out of bed and into my running clothes. I hadnt showered. My hair was a disaster. And all the while Im talking to him, standing there looking like that, and hes got some supermodel stowed away on board.
Are we sure shes a model? Jen cut in thoughtfully.
I told you this already. She said something about doing magazine shoots in Canada. There was a hint of exasperation in Joeys voice.
Well, perhaps shes a photojournalist. Jen suggested with a giggle.
Oh, sure. Trapped in the body of a game show hostess. Joey responded darkly, taking a long sip of her wine. Thanks a lot. I feel so much better now.
So, its the looking good is the best revenge angle youve got working here? Jen finally nodded her head in understanding. Is that it?
Well, not when you say it like that. Joey muttered with a frown, before sitting forward to run her hand through her hair. Its not like I feel as if I have to exact some kind of revenge on him.
Hmm. But he did leave town without a word. Let months pass before he ever called you to even let you know he was alive.
Well, it wasnt all that drastic. I mean, I knew he was alive. Joey shrugged. And wed already been broken up before he actually left, so I cant really hold that against him.
Jen watched her a moment. So, tell me. How did he look?
He looked good. Joey murmured softly, raising her eyebrows as she gazed out through the screen door towards the creek. He looked really good. He looked grown up. She returned her gaze to Jen. He looked happy.
And wasnt that what you said you always wanted for him? Jen offered gently.
I suppose. Joey sighed tiredly with a sad smile. Its just that Her voice trailed off before she finished her thought.
That you wanted him to be happy while still pining away for you for the rest of his life?
Joey met Jens smirk with one of her own.
Yeah, something like that.
~**~
