Yuku free message boards

Hello!

I'm so happy to see you all haven't deserted me! Hee. And I'm so, so sorry about the delay ~ real life got in the way. But I'm glad you're sticking around to see what happens next, because I'm not done with this story yet!

Thanks again for being so lovely!

Love,
Juliet

Wiping rice cereal flakes off the counter and into the trash, Joey stole a quick glance at the clock. Outside, shimmering sunlight gave the tree leaves a glossy sheen, and they rippled like currents in the ocean wind. It was a bright breezy blue morning without a cloud in the sky, the kind of perfect late August day that helped ease the inevitable transition into autumn.

Feeling a quick rise of anticipation, she smiled to see the slim dark-haired teenage girl finally appear in the backyard, rounding the corner of the house before walking up the steps onto the deck.

"Hey Natalie," she greeted her as she stepped into the kitchen.

"Hi."

Her sister Bessie had recently reconnected with her old pal Róisín, that friend from high school who lived just a few houses down the street. And when Bessie explained her sister just moved into the neighborhood with her baby girl, Róisín was quick to offer up the babysitting services of her sixteen year old daughter-a little too quick, by Joey's estimation. She had a feeling she simply wanted to keep the girl busy and out of trouble until school started again.

Natalie had her spiky dark bob pushed back off her face in a headband, wearing a snug fitted t-shirt and short white shorts. Per usual, she was showing far more skin than Joey would have ever dared or deemed appropriate at that age.

Despite her tendency to walk about half-dressed, however, Natalie had proved to be surprisingly caring and capable. A few times, she even offered up some helpful observation, experienced in watching her mother care for her younger siblings. And mostly Joey just needed someone to be there for Meg while she worked from home-although lately she was feeling more comfortable about leaving for maybe a quick grocery shop or her morning run.

Natalie went directly to Meg. The baby, banana in fist, greeted her with a gummy, gooey grin.

"I thought you were going for a jog?" Natalie asked as she stroked a hand over Meg's downy hair, obviously taking note of her pale green tank top, summery skirt and sandals.

"Um, actually…" Joey quickly cleaned away the rest of the breakfast dishes. "I had a couple of quick errands I had to run downtown, if that's okay. I shouldn't be too long, though. Then, if you wouldn't mind hanging out until her morning nap, I was going to try to get some work done."

"Sure, that's fine," the teenager agreed with a shrug and a sigh. "All my friends already left for the beach, anyway. I might go meet them later. If my Mom will let me, that is. She's still mad about me getting home late after that party last weekend."

"Was she mad about the fact you were late…" Joey arched an eyebrow, smirking faintly as she wiped her hands on a dishtowel and tossed it aside. "Or the fact you snuck out to go to it?"

Natalie's glossy lips parted, her pale cheeks blushing pink. "I didn't sneak out--is that what she said? My friends were waiting for me at the beach, and Mom was on the phone so I--I left a note, okay! I just didn't have time to submit to the interrogation first, you know? She's like the Spanish Inquisition…only, you know, the Irish version."

Amused, Joey tried for a somewhat sympathetic expression. She never really had anyone to answer to at that age, however, which may have been part of the reason she took so few risks. Under no real curfews, rules or restrictions, Joey felt endlessly accountable for her own actions, so weighted by her own burdens of responsibility that she could barely even make a move in any direction.

"Bessie brought over some raspberry oatmeal muffins from the B&B," she offered, grabbing up her bag off a kitchen chair. "Help yourself." She paused to give Meg a quick kiss, not caring when the baby smeared some mashed banana on her cheek. "And there's a bottle for her in the fridge. I'll be back in an hour. I have my cell phone on."

Slinging her bag over her shoulder to leave through the front door, Joey stepped out into the warm glaze of morning sunshine, a taste of ocean salt lacing the air. She quickly backed out of the driveway, trying to resist the urge to step on the gas as soon as she pulled away down the quiet beachfront lane.

Traffic was light downtown, so many schools returning to classes before Labor Day that most of the summer people were already gone. She easily found a spot at Brown's Wharf. Glimpses of the harbor provided vivid blue breaks between the shops and galleries, the old waterfront buildings with their clapboard shingles weathered silvery gray. She reached the set of stairs that led up to the second floor condominium units and, at that level, rounded the corner for the second set of stairs leading up to a small studio apartment.

She glanced up to see him waiting in the doorway, watching her with that warm and lazy grin. His tall, lean frame was slouched against the open doorframe in jeans and a faded t-shirt, resting on one shoulder with a coffee mug in hand, rumpled and beard-stubbled and looking like he just rolled out of bed.

"Hey." Even though he obviously saw her pull up outside, there was a hint of happy surprise hidden inside the slow curve of his smile.

She blew out a sigh, finally reaching the top. "Hey."

"There's coffee…I just made it," he said, his voice softening as he gazed down at her in closer proximity. "Do you want coffee?"

Holding his gaze, Joey shook her head.

"How about breakfast? Did you have breakfast yet? I can make eggs. French toast, perhaps?"

She only shook her head again.

The corner of his mouth twitched, his voice deepening to an even more intimate murmur as his eyes drifted down her face. The deep blue landed softly on her lips.

"Well, Josephine…what do you want?"

Grasping onto the front hem of his t-shirt, curling fingers into the cotton, she smiled and gave him a tug to follow as she walked inside.

A moment later, they were tumbling down onto his unmade bed, mouths crushed together, falling headlong into a passionate embrace. She slung a leg over to straddle his body as his large hands smoothed up her sides, pushing her tank top up and off before he made short work of her bra. Trailing hot, hungry kisses from her mouth down her neck, his skilled caresses roamed everywhere, setting her tingling skin afire.

Her breathy moan was cut short in a stuttered gasp when he nipped at the most sensitive spots, the soft assault of his lips causing an electric, erotic charge to her core. Pulse racing, heart hammering, already weak in the knees, she grasped at his shirt, wanting it off, her eagerness bordering on desperation.

How long had it been? Two days, maybe three? Joey couldn't think clearly enough to keep count. She only knew it felt like an agonizing eternity without him--his hands, his mouth, his heat. Her body cried out as if starving from neglect.

He helped her get his t-shirt off before his hands disappeared under her skirt, skimming up the back of her tensed and quivering thighs. When he slid his hand around to graze just the pad of his thumb against the moist silk of her thong, Joey nearly jumped out of her skin.

It was the sexiest pair of lingerie in her drawer that morning. She knew exactly what she was doing, exactly where she was going, when she showered and dressed.

Joey didn't know if she could withstand any kind of drawn-out torture, no matter how sweet. She was already weak with want; that deep, relentless ache of need almost too much to bear. But he didn't want to wait either. With a quietly muttered groan, he impatiently edged the silk away; then slid a finger up inside, soothing the ache with slow, wet strokes. Joey's eyes fluttered closed, her head lolling back with a whimper, grateful for some small, temporary relief.

She didn't know how he did this to her, brought her to this place where all reason and coherent thought seemed to vanish into bliss. And she didn't know how it could still be like this, after all this time. Shouldn't some of the passion have dimmed; the fire gradually fading to some comfortable warmth? How did it still rage so out of control, consumed by flames, so she would decadently abandon all her responsibilities to sneak in even a brief moment alone?

Maybe these were the kinds of things she should have gotten out of her system as a teenager--though Joey didn't think in a hundred years he could ever be out of her system.

Pacey was her first, he was her best. In these moments, it was as if he and he alone held the key to unlock everything she kept hidden inside. She craved the way he made her lose control, yet was resistant to it by nature. So it was a constant kind of battle, only one in which she longed for total surrender. Joey so badly wanted to just give in to what he could make her feel; she ached for him to drive her to that point where she couldn't fight it anymore.

His hungry kisses were making a slow, sweet, tortuous path up her neck, and then his mouth retraced its journey back down to cover her breasts. She shivered as a cool whisper of ocean air through the open window caused her rosy nipples to tighten; then sighed when his tongue made them melt. His hand inside silk, he circled the pad of his thumb around that bundle of charged nerve endings before easing a second finger up inside. Mindless with need, all she could do was rock her hips, still straddling his lap as she ground against his hand, her arms locked around broad shoulders. Lightheaded, waves of pleasure swirling through her, breath reduced to short pants, her muscles clenched down greedily, tight around thrusting fingers as his expert strokes quickly coaxed her to the edge, his whispered words of encouragement in her ear nudging her past it.

When the jolt hit, Joey bit down on his shoulder, stifling a small whimper as the hot thrill of her orgasm rushed through her. She went limp and nearly collapsed onto him, but Pacey caught her easily, gently rolling her on the bed.

A low murmur of satisfaction slipped past her lips as she sank into the folds of his sheets. Above her, propped on knees, he smiled down as he unfastened his jeans, and the lean muscles in his abdomen rippled, his tan arms bulged. Joey reached for him, eager to feel the strength of the muscles move under her hands. He was so tight and taut as she ran her eager palms over him, his smooth skin electric to the touch. Encircling his waist, she sought out that the strong hollow at the small of his back, her hands then sliding down as his jeans and boxer fell off to cup firm round cheeks.

Her skirt was bunched to her waist and Pacey didn't bother with it, simply reaching for the flimsy elastic of her silk thong underneath. He hooked a finger inside just as she lifted her head to press her mouth to his chest, needing to taste him. When she circled one flat brown nipple with the tip of her tongue, he exhaled harshly on the low rumble of a soft groan, simply ripping the flimsy scrap of material off with an impatient tug of his wrist.

With a firm grip on her thighs, he jerked her into position, spreading her legs to hook them over his hips. His hands slipped underneath her, still in a kneeling position between her legs, and Joey let out a quiet cry of surprise as her head flipped back to hit the bed. But the sound melted in a long, low moan of pleasure as his hips surged forward to penetrate. Sinking in between her thighs, he took quick and complete possession, sliding so deep.
His fingers lightly squeezed her tight, round backside as he rocked his hips, groaning softly as she locked her ankles around the small of his back, bringing him in close. Grabbing for her wrists, he pulled her hands from their exploration of his hard chest to lean over and pin her to the bed beneath him.

His ragged breath was hot on her neck as he thrust more deeply, lifting out with another groan before plunging back in again, and then again and again. He filled her completely; her hot, wet and willing body stretching to accommodate every long, thick inch of him. Joey hooked her arms around his shoulders as her hips bucked off the bed to meet him, reveling in the slow, deep slide of sensation as he covered her neck in tender, feverish kisses, the graze of his beard stubble causing her to shiver with tiny thrills. Like his bed, he wrapped her up so comfortably, his skin soft and smooth, hair still rumpled from sleep. He burned in her, hot and hard, yet infused her with this delicious warmth. He was thrilling and sexy and dark, yet sweetly familiar all at once. He was Pacey; he was hers.

It had always been so easy to remember the ways she loved him, and it had always been so hard to pretend she didn't still.

Dragging her heel over the curve of his tight ass, Joey dug her fingers in to hold on as she rocked up towards his powerful strokes. They fell into a smooth, erotic rhythm, rising and falling like the ocean tide; each deep thrust a heightened sensation of pleasure in the slow-building, throbbing ache of ecstasy. Through the pounding of her heartbeat she was barely aware of her own breathy moans, escalating with unchecked passion in the quiet of the harbor morning.

"God…" Pacey murmured under a husky breath, and his roughened groan held the sound of control slipping away. "Joey…"

She felt his muscles tense under her hands, an attempt at restraint, but then his ragged voice broke in her ear, and she gasped with pleasure to feel the powerful pulsing heat as he came so deep inside her. With a swift, low groan, he managed to roll them on the bed, so she was once again straddling on top, with him still buried inside. Gripping her at the waist, he arched, lifting off the bed to thrust up as he pulled her down hard, causing a rapid shift of sensations. It was the push that sent her hurtling over the edge as her head fell back on a silent cry. Wild and explosive, her second orgasm sent shockwaves out to the very tips of her toes, her entire body trembling with sweet, sweet release.

This time her collapse was full and complete, and Joey slid away to land next to him in the tangle of sheets, both breathing so hard they couldn't speak. Her entire body felt like mass of quivering jelly, so she had to close her eyes briefly, pressing her fingertips to her forehead, afraid she might actually faint.

After enough time had passed for recovery, she glanced at him across the bed pillows. Pacey met her eyes with a grin, still out of breath as he let out a gravelly chuckle of laughter.

"Damn, Potter…you gotta warn me next time. I just woke up here!"

She managed to gasp out a small laugh as well, her heart softly hammering, head still reeling.

"Oh, since when does time of day matter to you?" she joked, her amusement peppered with sarcasm. She had to pause to catch her breath. "Besides, I seem to recall you usually woke up more than prepared in the mornings."

"Eh, that's just the Boy Scout in me," he sighed with another chuckle, resting a hand on his lean, tanned stomach.

"Really? Is that what you call it?" she murmured with a faint smirk. She stretched her limbs luxuriously against the soft cotton sheets, reveling in the afterglow of that pleasant ache, every inch of her body left tingling.

"Yep. So wanna help me earn my merit badge?"

Her laugh drifted off in a sigh. "Sorry, Pace…" Sitting up, she clutched the sheet to her breasts. "But I left Natalie at the house. I have to get back."

"You sure you have to go right this minute?" His murmur was full of soft persuasion as he lifted a hand to graze fingertips down her naked back. Then he sat up a little, propped on an elbow, and leaned forward to follow his caress with a trail of silky, slow kisses.

As a thousand tiny thrills shivered up her spine, Joey arched involuntarily but had to bite her bottom lip so as not to gasp. Tossing her long hair out of her eyes, she smiled back at him over her bare shoulder. Pacey tilted his head to meet her gaze with slightly narrowed eyes and a faint, sly smile-as if he knew she might be tempted.

And, for a second, she was. His lips made their way around front, the graze of his beard stubble tickling her waist as she giggled softly, her fingers threading through his short-cropped hair as he ducked his head under her arm. Smoothing an enticingly slow caress up the inside of her thigh, he ended his trail of kisses at her bellybutton and eased off. Gazing down at him under the dark flutter of her eyelashes, all seductive stirrings renewed, Joey watched how his smile softened, the heat of his blue eyes warming her whole body.

Gently, almost reverently, he bowed his head again, and she drew in a shaky breath of anticipation. But he didn't head as far south as she imagined, instead placing the softest of kisses right on the tiny red stretch mark that was still visible along the edge of her bikini line. Unconsciously, she stiffened. He then followed his kiss with a tracing of fingertips, stroking the thin mark with a loving caress.

Without really meaning to, she squirmed away from him. "Don't…" she whispered, smile fading.

Pacey lifted his head, his eyes registering some mild surprise as he lowered his hand back to her thigh.

"What?" he asked, all his teasing from only moments ago replaced by some tender concern. "Is it too sensitive?"

Joey shook her head, but reached for the sheets to bring them up to her chest again. It wasn't her body that was overly sensitive.

"No." A faint frown creased in her forehead. "It's just…well, it bothers me." She knew a defensive edge sharpened her tone, so she tried to lighten it. Giving him a smirk, she arched her brow on a more sardonic note. "I don't exactly consider it to be my sexiest feature, okay?"

Pacey's grin curved. "Well, that's where I'm gonna have to beg to differ," he said with a sigh, and a twinkle returned to his eye.

She rolled her eyes at him in skeptical amusement. "So the last remaining evidence of the fact I was the size of a beached whale--so incredibly huge that I actually exceeded the natural boundaries of my own body mass and stretched the limits of my skin--that really turns you on, huh?"

Something in his expression shifted and he glanced down, still caressing her thigh.

"Yeah, if you really must know, I did think you looked sexy when you were pregnant. Incredibly sexy, in fact," he added before meeting her gaze again. "But that's not all it's a reminder of. It's a reminder that you had our baby inside you--that you had Meg inside you…" Smiling, he leaned in to whisper his last words across her lips in a slow and intoxicatingly intimate kiss. "…that you had me inside you…"

Closing her eyes to kiss him back, Joey had to admit she was slightly shocked to discover he might've actually felt that way under all the hurt and anger of betrayal back then. She was aware, however, that it could be a proverbial stroke to the typical male ego--a sign of power and virility in this evidence of fertility. While Pacey didn't often fall into the "typical" category and usually rose far above it, she could allow him a few backslides here and there.

Forgetting the time, the day--and nearly her own name--Joey responded to the slow delicious slide of his skilled tongue, sighing softly in his mouth as he guided her back down into the pillows. His body moved over hers, the sheet still partially trapped between them, the warm drifts of hands moving up as his hungry kisses made their way from her mouth down her neck.

She arched her head back on a sigh, his soft lips teasing her most sensitive pulse points, but even as the rush of desire sent the blood pounding through her ears, she couldn't get his words out of her head.

Although she was happier now than maybe she'd ever been in her whole life, Joey still couldn't help but question it.

Pacey had come back to her. She knew she was back inside his heart, because it was right there in his eyes, for anyone to see, and in his voice, for anyone to hear. And his heart wasn't something one should doubt. She learned that lesson long ago.

Yet, Joey felt how she got back in there was still left open to speculation.

His hands came up to cup her breasts, kneading and caressing the mounds of soft flesh. The sheet fell away as his mouth burned a path across her trembling stomach, until his lips found that spot again, lingering on the small pink stretch mark with such tenderness.

He'd been so bitter, so distant, so different. But then she had his child. She'd given him Meg, and he'd fallen in love with that baby girl.

Is that how she got his heart back?

"Pace…" She shifted away, edging out from under, and brought both hands to his strong shoulders to hold him back without actually pushing him off. "I-I can't. I'm sorry. I really have to go."

He didn't object or resist, simply dropping face first into the warm tangle of sheets she left behind to let out a comically exaggerated sigh of disappointment.

"Fine…" he muttered in response, his deep voice muffled in the folds as he feigned a wounded tone. "Just use me for sex and go about your day, then."

Joey glanced back at him with a faint smirk as she collected her clothes from the floor of his bedroom, her outward response to his sense of humor disguising the very real surge of desire she felt inside to see his long, lean and muscular body stretched out across the bed.

Immediately he rolled over to grab a pillow and stuff it under his head. "No, seriously," he added with that perfect timing. "Please do. Anytime."

She only grabbed a pillow that had fallen off the bed and playfully tossed it at his head.

Later in the afternoon, after Natalie left and her work was done for the day, her sister Bessie stopped by the house with some fabric samples. She was still determined to get curtains up on the front windows.

They were just sitting down at the kitchen table to look through patterns when Pacey appeared through the door.

"Hey, Pacey." Her sister tossed out a casual greeting as she flipped through the book from the fabric store.

Joey only met his gaze to smile. He was freshly showered and shaved, wearing a crisp navy polo from the Icehouse. He gave her a quick grin, the same hint of sexy mischief in his warm blue eyes as when she left him in bed.

"Hello, ladies…" he said, walking straight over to Meg.

She was bouncing and babbling in her exersaucer in front of the open door to the deck, soaking up fresh air and sunshine as she played. Curving his large hands around her pleasantly plump middle, Pacey gently eased her up out of the seat to lift her high in the air. A bright burble of laughter danced across the baby's lips before she opened her mouth wide in a soft gasp of delight.

"Da-dah-dah…" she chattered in happy singsong.

Joey only smiled, drinking them both in.

"I have to make a run down to the Chatham Fish Pier before I head to the restaurant," he said, bringing the baby down to give her a kiss. "I thought I might take her along. She likes the big boats."

"Sure, fine by me," Joey agreed with a shrug. The baby, however, was only in a diaper and a t-shirt. "She has some clothes right over there-I just did laundry."

"Ooh…I like this one!" Bessie suddenly spoke up, drawing her attention back to the book of fabric samples.

Joey tried to focus her interest, but her gaze snuck away to watch Pacey again as he grabbed a little cotton play dress and matching shorts off the top of the basket of laundry. The movements of his hands seemed slightly awkward and unfamiliar when put to the gentle, careful task of dressing the baby girl, and it was a rather sweet and endearing contrast to the speed and passionate skill with which he could undress her.

She remembered the way he tore her panties right off her body in bed this morning and flushed hotly, squirming in her seat. She chastised him gently after the fact, but secretly wouldn't have traded the erotic thrill of the moment.

"Okay…" He blew out a sigh of accomplishment when he was done, lifting the baby back in his arms. "I'm going to grab a bottle for the trip, too. But we'll be back soon."

"Have fun!" Bessie called out.

Willing her blush away, Joey pursed her lips before she scraped her kitchen chair back from the table. "Just a minute," she mumbled to Bessie before she sprang from the seat to hurry after.

She caught up with them in the front hall.

"Pace--wait," she called out quietly.

He turned to glance back with a grin. "Forget something?" he asked.

"Yes." Joey reached up towards the hooks of the old-fashioned coat rack by the door. "She'll need her sunhat."

He smirked in faint amusement as she grabbed the pink floral print bucket hat and placed it on Meg's round head.

"By the way, ah, sorry again about this morning," he said with a small sigh. "You know…with your, um, under-things?"

She gave him a stern look as she adjusted the fit of the brim. "Not in front of the baby, please!" she hissed softly.

Joey had to admit she was a little reluctant for Bessie to overhear as well. While her sister was well aware of the fact they were tentatively easing their way into a real relationship, right now Joey felt a little like some oversexed addict, needing to sneak away--leaving her own child--just to get a fix.

"What?" Pacey lifted his voice in mild protest, though a smile lurked in there too. "I thought I was being discreet." His tone shifted then. "I mean, it's not like I said I'm sorry for ripping off your sexy silk thong, but you got me so har-oomp."

Clamping a hand to his mouth, Joey shut him up there. Meg let out a little dimpled laugh as she glanced between them, recognizing a game but not quite certain as to how it was played. Hand held firm, Joey eyed him in a silent warning. Pacey only lifted his brows in a comically helpless expression.

"You better promise me, if I take this hand away," she spoke through gritted teeth, "you're going to be good."

He nodded his head dutifully.

"Good." She sighed, and carefully eased it away.

"I always try to be good, you know that, Jo," he assured her after he took in a breath of air. Hiking Meg up in his arms, he turned to leave, but once on the front stoop, he glanced back with a sly grin. "But you?" He blew out a low whistle of appreciation, shaking his head in near disbelief. "You were un-bee-lievable…"

"Pacey!" she bit out, fists clenched.

"The child! Think of the child!" He laughed and ducked away, protectively covering the baby with one hand as he hurried off to the truck.

Though she tried to maintain her frown of reproof and not laugh, Joey couldn't help but soften as she watched him carefully buckle Meg into her seat and give her a sweet kiss. It was a confusing mix of emotions, every unexpected surge of lust washed in this warmth of familial tenderness. At times it was strange, even a little unsettling, to find herself in the midst of this passionate, clandestine affair with the father of her child. But maybe that was her own fault.

It was her who kept him divided him into two separate and very different people, after all--a strong and very sexual man, reserved only for her, and then a sweet and devoted daddy, belonging completely to her daughter.

She knew, however, that Pacey wanted to be both things-that he wanted to be everything. He already made that abundantly and beautifully clear. And even if he didn't, it was apparent in everything he said and did, in every smile, kiss, touch or look.

Leaning against the open door, Joey watched his truck drive away down the quiet, sunny street. The problem was that she wasn't sure she knew how to let him be both right now. She felt much more comfortable, safer somehow for the time being, with it just like this. She and Meg were just getting settled in this house and this brand new life. She and Pacey had only recently reconnected, both emotionally and physically. So Joey wanted to take things slow, for all their sakes.

After Bessie left with the fabric book, Joey decided to use the free time to get a few quick chores done while he had Meg. After folding away the clean laundry, she took a seat at her computer in the kitchen alcove and pulled out a small stack of bills to be paid.

She sorted through the envelopes with a faint frown. She was still irritated that the women's health center out in LA must have ignored her specific billing request, but when she located that envelope, something made her pause. She had been so distracted by the unexpected shock of Dawson's handwriting; she never looked more closely at the post office box in the return address.

It wasn't from LA at all. It was from right over in Falmouth.

The realization drained the color from her face, leaving her cold. It was that one visit, the one she wished she could block from her memory. So confused, scared and distraught at the time, when filling out all the forms she must have given her LA address out of habit, never stopping to think. And now her secret had followed her, all the way across the country and then back again.

Joey easily opened the bill, noticing its loose flap. Her stomach lurched. Had Dawson looked inside?

Although she was supposed to pay for the procedure that day in full, she saw the bill appeared to be the unpaid charges from all her preparatory lab work--pregnancy test, hemoglobin, Rh factor typing--the things that were done initially upon arrival, before she even had a chance to speak with the doctor…before she even had a chance to change her mind.

Her hand shaking, feeling a little queasy, she picked up the phone to take care of it with her credit card. She just wanted it gone.

Joey hated having to remember how desperate and hopeless she felt, and how the scheduled abortion had seemed her only option. Of course, for many women, it probably was their only option. For those women, she had all the sympathy and understanding in the world. This wasn't a matter of morals or ethics. Joey was still firm and unwavering in her belief that it was an intensely personal choice, a choice every woman was entitled to make for herself.

Only for her, it had been a choice to run away.

And she knew what Pacey probably chose to believe. He believed she did something brave and admirable, taking on this life-changing responsibility and facing this incredible challenge head-on, even when she thought she had to do it all alone. She saw it in his eyes and the way he sometimes spoke to her. He had a new kind of respect.

Again, she knew where his opinions would fall. If it became an issue for debate, he wasn't about to deny anyone their personal rights--especially when it came to a woman and her own body--and he almost always landed to the left in his political beliefs. Pacey would champion anyone's right to individual choice. But this wasn't about that.

It was about her choice, and it was about their daughter.

At the time, Joey had no plan to tell him that he had been, however briefly, almost a father. He found it in his heart once to understand and forgive, but she wasn't sure he could again. Of course, it could be argued that he didn't need to know, and that part of the past no longer mattered. But Joey would always know.

Once the call was made, the bill paid, she placed the phone down and lifted her eyes to the window. The leafy tree branches still swayed gently in the wind against a cloudless sky, and sea gulls circled in wide, graceful arcs. A patch of sunflowers by the back fence were starting to bloom, the golden yellow a sunny contrast to the glimpse of ocean blue. Then her gaze traveled away, drifting around the beautiful bright kitchen, all her things in place.

Sometimes she felt she didn't deserve any of this. Not this beautiful house next to the ocean. Not that gorgeous baby girl, so sweet and smart and adorable. And not Pacey, in the way he loved so completely, so deeply and so truthfully.

She had this brand new wonderful life, but what if it was all just an illusion? A single choice could have changed everything, erasing it all. And where would she be now? Still in LA with Dawson but empty inside, living a miserable lie?

Joey thought again about all those awful things he said in that scathing e-mail. One more thing she never told Pacey about. It made her wonder why. Did she just not want to stir up more trouble? Or was she simply afraid of anything that might disrupt the image he had of her now--the image that, in all likelihood, had made him want her again.

Joey had waited so long, and wanted so much. A year ago, even six months ago, she would have given almost anything for Pacey to look at her in the way he used to and now, there it was--every time their eyes met.

How could she ever lose it again?

The deep rose of sunset tinged the edges of blue horizon in the gentle calm before twilight, and balmy sea breezes threaded through the branches of the old elms that surrounded the seaside ballpark. Sitting on a faded quilt on the grassy incline between the bleachers and the concession stand, Joey leaned back to rest on her arms, Meg crawling over her like she was her own personal playground.

There was another crack of the bat, followed by the usual cheers all around. She couldn't help but laugh to watch the runner engage in a small impromptu dance with the first base coach once he safely arrived.

"They're all such goofballs, aren't they?" Colleen laughed as well, sitting in a beach chair on the grass next to her.

"That's a good word for them," Joey agreed.

The softball tournament was a summer tradition, one Joey recalled vaguely from her old waitress days at the Yacht Club. Almost twenty teams from all over the Cape took part this year, each one representing some restaurant or bar in the area. Tonight were the final playoffs of the season, and it was down to The Icehouse and the Dockside Tavern over in Yarmouth.

Colleen's toddler wandered over, curious to see the baby. Meg paused, big blue eyes open wide as she smiled, thrilled for the attention of another little person. The toddler grinned before she took off running, but she kept glancing back expectantly.

"I think she wants Meg to chase her," Colleen explained with a smile.

"Oh, sorry, sweetheart," Joey called out to the little girl. "She's not really walking yet."

"I bet she will be soon though," Colleen said, noting the way the baby pulled up on Joey's shoulder to stand on sturdy legs. She sighed, pushing herself up from her chair on a weary murmur. "And then the real fun begins…"

Joey watched with some amusement as she chased after her giggling toddler, reining her in to scoop her up in her arms near the concession stand. Her smile soon faded, however, mildly surprised to notice Courtney, the floor manager who recently quit, standing by the fence. She was with a friend, both slim and tanned with shiny, perfect hair, both dressed as if they were headed for a big night out on the town. And both were staring directly at her.

Courtney's hand went to her mouth as she leaned towards the friend, whispering something in her ear.

Cheeks flushed on her faint scowl as Joey quickly turned back to the game.

Though she and Courtney never really spoke again after that day in front of the Icehouse, Joey could imagine what was being said right now. Courtney was probably telling her friend how this was the conniving, scheming bitch came in to ruin Pacey Witter's perfect marriage, stealing him away from his perfect wife by getting herself knocked up-as if it had been some underhanded, calculated move on her part to manipulate him away from Andie.

Joey knew exactly how the story would go, what assumptions would be made, for those on the outside looking in. Pacey, with all his good looks, charm and success, formerly one of the Cape's most eligible bachelors; Andie, the dedicated and well-loved family physician, blonde and pretty, so friendly and--obviously--all too trusting. Then there was her. Daughter of a convicted criminal, her family's name plagued by various scandals over the years. It would be easy to cast her in some role of villainess or vamp. (That was, if Joey even knew how to vamp.) In fact, for a time that's kind of how she saw herself.

Sighing, she gazed down at Meg as she continued to play on the blanket. It would be so tempting to get caught up in the more salacious soap opera aspects of the story, however, that people could easily forget at the center of the controversy was a very real, very sweet baby girl. Meg did nothing to deserve that. She was innocent.

Joey supposed she should be grateful that someone like Courtney no longer worked at the Icehouse, but it wasn't as if gossip was ever confined to one person. Once the seeds were planted, it was like a nasty weed whose spread couldn't be stopped. Courtney might be brazen enough to do it here, right in front of her, but who knew what others might be saying behind her back?

"Oh, Pacey's up." Colleen sounded the alert, back from rounding up her stray toddler.

Gathering Meg onto her lap, Joey gazed past her to watch him take a slow practice swing before making his way to the plate. There were two runners on base, down by one, and this was the last inning of the game. Even though she couldn't really hear, she smirked faintly to see him engage the pitcher in a little comical back-and-forth after the first ball was thrown. She could imagine just from his teasing grin what was being said.

The second pitch came and this time Pacey went for it, knocking it clear out into the approaching darkness over right field. A collective gasp went up as the fielder hurried over to make the catch, and then the shout of a triumphant cheer when he had to stop short, the ball going over the fence, hit right out of the park.

Pacey, of course, made a huge show of his base run, taking his own sweet time while the runners crossed home plate in front of him to win the game. The guys on the Dockside bench stood to chuck empty plastic water bottles or their gloves at him as he jogged on by, waving to the fans in the stands.

The comical show of unsportsmanlike behavior was only for laughs, however, the games played for fun. There was a joke trophy, an old brass cod mounted on a fake marble base they passed around to keep on display behind their bars. The real prize was the privilege of bragging rights for an entire long and boring winter season until summer rolled round again.

Pacey was still waving off cheers and jeers when he finally came over to them, chuckling softly, his baseball hat turned backwards on his head.

"Hey, here's my girls…" he grinned, clapping his hands once before he stooped down to lift up Meg.

Joey self-consciously rubbed at her arms, smiling faintly as she watched him toss the baby up into the air. But she stole a quick glance over her shoulder, uncomfortable with the fact there was such an unappreciative audience standing nearby. Thankfully, however, Courtney was gone.

"Great game, boss!" Colleen laughed, gathering up her chair with one hand as she kept hold on her toddler with the other.

"Thanks," he grinned. "You working in the morning?"

"I am."

"Eh, me too…I'll see you then."

"Okay. Oh--and bye, Joey. It was nice seeing you again."

She smiled, lifting her hand. "You too."

Pacey glanced down at her with a small grin once they were alone.

"So, are you very impressed with me right now?"

"Very," Joey assured him, trying not to smile too much.

"And probably a little hot for me too, right?" he added with a knowing sigh, as if trying to be discrete in stating the obvious.

Despite the fact he was in possession of some sweaty, boyish charm in that uniform--and his softball pants had a pleasingly snug fit--Joey only rolled her eyes.

Pacey chuckled, shifting his hold on Meg to switch tones. "Well, we can talk about that later. But right now, even though tradition dictates that drinks are on the house over at the Tavern, I was wondering if I might take you two out for an ice cream or maybe a piece of pie over at the Cranberry Bay Café instead. I'm really in no mood to go hang out at a bar. Besides which, I have to be in for the seafood deliveries at six AM tomorrow. So how about it?"

As nice as that sounded, Joey felt compelled to decline.

"You just hit the winning homerun of the game, Pace," she admonished him with some gentle humor. "You'd really pass up the opportunity to soak up the fame and glory and be that center of attention at the bar?"

He scoffed playfully. "To ask that…it's like you don't know me at all."

"Right," she drawled, taking the arm offered as she stood from the blanket to gather it up. "But seriously, at least put in an appearance." She felt decidedly uncomfortable about being the reason he might not attend. What would they all say about her then? "The Icehouse is your restaurant. You should go."

He frowned dubiously, looking a bit disappointed. "But what about you guys?"

"I know my way home," Joey said with a shrug. "Besides, it's almost her bedtime."

Just then, Aidan and some other players departing the field called out to him as they reached their cars in the lot, playfully urging him to hurry it along.

Joey was quick to dismiss. "Go ahead. Go celebrate. We'll just see you tomorrow."

Reluctantly, he passed the baby over to her waiting arms. "Well, all right then," he sighed. "If you're really turning me down, I guess I have no choice but to honor them with my presence."

He cupped his hand to the back of Meg's hair and leaned down to give her a kiss on her forehead. When he leaned in even more, heading directly for her lips, Joey ducked. It was an unexpected reflex, not really what she intended. But with the guys still waiting for him, she didn't like the feeling of being watched--maybe even judged.

Coughing slightly to clear his throat, Pacey chuckled on a wry murmur, "And maybe not…"

Joey tried to ignore the way he was studying her with a furrowed brow, and gave her best impression of a casual, cheery smile, patting him on the shoulder to make up for it.

"Well…see ya. Have fun."

"Yep. See ya," he replied quietly.

As Joey turned to walk with Meg in the direction of her car, she knew he stood there another moment, gazing after her, before he walked away.

By the time she got back to the house, Meg was already half asleep and all it took was a change into fleecy pajamas to finish the job. Joey went downstairs, wandering through the quiet, still rooms of the house. She thought about sitting down in front of the TV, and then considered maybe making herself a snack. Instead, she just grabbed the book she'd been reading on the train and went up to bed.

Despite the light fresh sea breeze slipping in through the open windows and the warmth of her downy comforter, Joey felt uncomfortably distracted, unable to concentrate on the words. She finally gave up, placing the book on her bedside table to shut off the lamp. She rolled over in the dark, punching the pillow under her head, but only gazed at the flat beam of moonlight that fell across the empty half of the bed.

She imagined him here next to her, those strong, warm hands reaching for her under the covers to pull her into the soft, solid comfort of his chest, the whisper of her breath against the nape of her neck. Despite their long history, there weren't really that many nights she and Pacey had shared a bed--at least not for the whole night. Yet she still remembered each and every one.

Like a big sprawling and affectionate puppy dog, he liked to be close, wrapping her up in his arms or draping a leg over hers, his nose nuzzled in her hair to breathe her in. Intensely aware of her own personal boundaries, Joey's first instincts usually made her throw up a wall or create distance. But she didn't, not with Pacey. In fact, she never slept so soundly in her life as those nights she drifted off in his arms.

Here, all alone in the dark, she only had her defenses to keep her warm, and she didn't know if she was ready to let them go yet. But she wished could. She wished she would.

It could be so easy now. They were both adults, both following their careers--though, granted, so far he'd gone a lot further. They were both living in the same place. They were both parents of this beautiful baby girl sleeping so peacefully just across the hall. Joey knew she loved him. She knew where she wanted to be.

So why was it more difficult than ever for her to get there?

Slumped slightly, one hand resting on the steering wheel, Pacey watched the train slowly chug out of the station, wheezing and puffing its way by. He barely got Joey here in time this morning, both running so late he had to take a few illegal shortcuts and break a few speed limits downtown.

When the train finally gathered enough speed to disappear down the tracks, he made no immediate move to drive away. Sitting there, barely half awake and lost to his thoughts, he rubbed at his chin, frowning to himself.

She left him with only a quick kiss, barely a peck on the cheek, but he knew her mind was probably already halfway to Boston and all the work waiting for her on her desk. At least he hoped that was her distraction.

Pacey had to admit he was feeling a little uncertain about things lately, and about her. He knew he put himself out there to her in a big way, however. It wasn't something he actually planned to do at this early stage of the game, but following any kind of game plan had never really been his thing either. So maybe it was inevitable that he'd feel fleeting twinges of some old insecurity start to sneak in. He only hoped it was phantom pains.

Yet he was obviously still the same guy. The guy who couldn't seem to help himself from doing these foolish or impulsive things in the name of love--his love for one Joey Potter specifically--despite the fact he might only jeopardize his own chances.

She always had that kind of affect on him, however, one that sent him looking for the nearest rooftop to shout from. Still, Pacey really didn't want to scare her off.

More often than not these days, it was Joey seeking him out to spend time together. Of course, typically that was for sex. Half the time, when they'd see each other next, especially if other people were around, it was almost like she wanted to downplay the fact it even happened. Pacey knew she was extremely private and wanted to keep things between them for now. He knew she wanted to take things slow, and he respected that. He was okay with that. As long as that's all it was.

After all, it wasn't like he didn't notice her flinch at his comment after the softball game the other night. Once again, it just kind of slipped out. Pacey certainly didn't mean to voice any ownership rights or sound overbearing or possessive in any way, especially when he was determined never to be any of those things. Maybe the problem was that he was getting entirely too comfortable in a situation, and in a relationship, that remained mostly undefined.

"Da-dah…" Meg's happy little voice cut into his thoughts, and he smiled to hear her comical excitement as she pointed out the window in the backseat, her legs kicking. "Ack-ack."

Tilting his head to see a few seagulls flap by overhead, his smile tugged. "Yeah, baby girl…" he acknowledged without correcting her, since--thanks to Old Farmer MacDonald--now every species of bird or fowl was identified as such. "I see the quack-quacks."

He eased the car away from the station, pulling out of the tree-lined parking lot to drive away down the street.

He had Joey's car, as he claimed he didn't like the way the treads looked on the back tires. Since he wanted her and Meg to be safe, he insisted he take it to the shop for a pair of new radials, especially before any inclement weather hit. At the same time, however, now he at least had the guarantee of getting to see her at the end of the day.

"Your Daddy is a very sad, sad man…" he murmured underneath his self-deprecating sigh, confiding to the infant in the back seat. Then he cleared his throat, trying to brighten his tone as he glanced in the rearview mirror to see her little face. "So, we just need to stop by the restaurant for a minute," he said. "Maybe Ines will let you play with some bread dough again. And after that we have to go get some new tires. But then I'm all yours. I promise."

Slowing to a stop outside the kitchen entrance, he walked around to the baby's side, unsnapping her from the car seat to draw her out. Meg babbled happily and threw herself right into his hold, her little arms going securely around his neck in a hug.

Pausing with her there at the door, her soft little round cheek pressed to his faint beard stubble, Pacey rocked her gently in his arms. "But you already knew that, eh?" he smiled sadly, squeezing tight as he closed his eyes to breathe her in.

Sometimes it almost didn't seem possible that he could have this much love inside, but every time he hugged his baby girl close it seemed to open up yet another hidden well, and it just poured out of him, deep and endless.

Pacey was already all hers. He was all theirs for the taking. He only hoped they both wanted him as much as he wanted them.

The waves crashed quietly on the deserted beach, foaming and fizzling on the sandy shore before retreating, then rolling in again. The sky was smoky gray over a slate-colored sea, the beach shrouded in a light mist.

It was one of those overcast days when the sun failed to ever burn off the fog, the weather holding remnants of some hurricane in the south that went out to sea. The damp blanket was draped over the entire town, cooling the salt air with an unseasonable chill. Tilting his head to check on Meg, Pacey made sure the hood of her pink fleece sweatshirt was covering her little ears.

The all-terrain wheels of the jogger stroller traveled easily over the flat sand, leaving long thin trails between their footprints. They were the only ones on beach, save for a lone fisherman casting off the rock jetties at the far north end.

He glanced out at the distant whitecaps, the wind ruffling the waves, feeling that old pull to be out there. Burying a soft sigh, he turned his gaze on Joey. She had paused to pick up a fanned scallop shell from the sand, turning it over in her hand to examine its delicate wavy ridged edge.

"Look," she said with a smile, holding it up for him to see before she tucked it in her sweatshirt pocket. "Perfect."

Pacey only smiled in return. With the rocky shoals and sometimes rough Atlantic surf, it wasn't often that one got washed ashore unbroken. She had a big hand-painted ceramic bowl on the porch she was starting to fill with a collection.

"So what's up for the weekend?" he asked when she fell in step with them again. It was sometimes a little odd that they could spend so much time together as a family, but to see her alone he still felt obligated to set up a proper date.

"Not much, really." She glanced at him. "Are you working?"

He nodded his head. "Friday closing, Saturday morning inventory and Sunday brunch--which leaves Saturday evening free." Smiling again, he cocked his head to watch her face. "I was going to see if you wanted to do dinner…maybe a movie?"

Her forehead creased in an expression of uncertainty. "Go out to dinner, you mean?"

"Well, if we can get a babysitter," he rushed to add, hoping that's all that gave her pause. "If not…I don't care. We could stay in and I'll make dinner." He shrugged a shoulder. "Rent a movie."

He was relieved to see her expression lighten with a tentative smile.

"Yeah, if you don't mind, that actually sounds like a better plan," she admitted. "I think Natalie is busy this weekend with school starting, and I know Bessie is going to be home baking for this thing we have on Sunday…it's an 80th birthday party for my great-aunt Rita over in Brackett's Landing. It's my father's side of the family and none of them have seen Meg yet." She rolled her eyes a little. "He obviously can't make it up, but is insisting we go."

"Really? Huh." Pacey furrowed his brow slightly, suddenly recalling Bodie mentioned something about needing off work. "Well, um…maybe I could get Aidan to cover part of brunch for me." He stopped when he caught her dubious look of surprise. "What?"

"Nothing." Shaking her head, Joey laughed. "I'm just shocked you would even want to go." She narrowed her gaze, skeptical but still amused. "Pace, you have to remember how unpleasant she is. You met her that Christmas, remember?"

His frown deepened slightly. Now that she mentioned it, he did seem to recall a moment of holiday gift-giving they shared in Joey's old room back at the B&B in high school, there amongst the guest coats and purses piled on her bed, and how an elderly relative accidentally happened in on them looking for her reading glasses. He especially recalled having to sit directly across from said relative all through Christmas dinner, while she glared at him over the tortoiseshell frames as if he should be boiled in his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.

"Be glad you don't have to go," Joey finished with another dismissive laugh. "In fact, I only wish I had an excuse to blow it off. But I'm kind of stuck--it's a family thing."

Pacey shrugged it off then, not wanting to admit that was kind of his point.

"It's getting colder. We should probably get her home, huh?" he said instead, inclining his head towards Meg.

Joey nodded her agreement before smiling down and adjusting the light throw blanket in the stroller. Straightening to stand, she moved back to walk at his side, slipping an arm around his waist as she did so.

Her affectionate gesture had an immediate and calming effect. Grinning down at her, Pacey draped one arm over her shoulders to pull her in for a kiss. He knew it was stupid of him to take any of this personally. It was just that he longed so much to be in every part of her life.

By the time they got back to the house, it was almost as chilly inside as it was out. Rather than turn on the heat this soon after Labor Day, he went to grab some of the wood the former owner left stacked behind the garage and set about building a fire.

While Joey curled up next to him on the couch in the living room, reading over a manuscript for work, he settled Meg on his lap with her afternoon bottle. Gazing into the warm glow from the brick fireplace, his baby girl in his arms and Joey resting so comfortably against his side, Pacey was pretty much as content as he'd ever been in his life.

These were the moments when he could fully immerse himself in the fantasy. These were the moments he could pretend he never had to leave.

"Is she already out?" Joey asked, keeping her voice at a soft whisper.

Pacey glanced down, slightly surprised to see the baby's dark eyelashes fanned across round pink cheeks, her rosy lips parted in peaceful sleep.

"Yep, she is. Guess all that fresh air did her in."

Joey shifted away on the couch so he could move, but had to cover her own yawn as she did so. "Do you want me to take her up?"

While Pacey could have easily spent her entire naptime hour gazing down into her little face, just like this, he shook his head.

"Nah," he murmured, easing forward. "I got it."

He carried Meg up to her room, placing her gently in her crib with a fleece blanket draped at her waist and her favorite stuffed bunny rabbit by her side. Stepping into Joey's room to grab the monitor off her bedside table, he was caught up in the sweeping ocean views out the windows. On a day like today, it was hard to believe there were that many shades of gray.

When he came back downstairs a few moments later, he narrowed his gaze as faint amusement twitched at the corner of his mouth. Joey had slumped over into the spot he vacated on the couch, her cheek pressed to a pillow, with her manuscript now laying scattered on the living room floor. And she was asleep.

Moving around the couch as quietly as possible, he took a seat in the armchair by the fireplace. Resting his elbows on his knees, he sat forward, his gaze drifting over her as he smiled.

At sixteen, when he first found himself locked in battle with his own warring emotions, she was so defensive, prickly sharp and tough it was almost like she fought against it, too--as if she led some internal resistance army that wouldn't let him to fall in love with her. She simply wouldn't allow it.

It wasn't until that moment Pacey saw her asleep in the firelight at the B&B, so beautiful and vulnerable in every way, that he knew she couldn't stop him.

The bond she shared with Dawson back then might have been described as inextricable, but what Pacey always had with her was a little more inexplicable. He couldn't explain how it happened, why it happened or even when it really happened. Like a sudden summer storm of hurricane force, it hit without warning, tossed everything around and upside down, and took hold of his heart. In the aftermath, no matter how much time was spent in damage control, the winds might have abated and the skies even showed through. But it never really let go.

He leaned forward, carefully picking up the pages of her manuscript to place them back in order in a neat stack. He was just sitting back in his chair when she stirred, blinking open her eyes.

"Hey," he greeted her with a slow grin.

"Hey…" Her initial and momentary confusion dissolved into a sheepish smile as she pushed up off the couch to sit upright. "I told myself I was only going to close my eyes a minute," she admitted, her sleepy laughter softening her yawn as she rubbed at her eyes.

Pacey ducked his head to chuckle, glancing outside at the cool dreariness of the afternoon as he rubbed at his chin. "Yeah, it's that kind of day."

He glanced back just in time to notice her shiver, wrapping arms around her body

"Still cold?" he asked, readying to stand. "I can grab more wood for this fire."

She shrugged, but her smile curved invitingly. "Or you could just come over here and keep me warm."

Pacey smiled. "I could do that."

He moved to join her on the couch, curving one arm around her shoulders and sliding the other beneath her knees to ease her close, draping those long, lovely legs over his lap. Joey snuggled in with a smile, propped by pillows all around, and Pacey lowered his head to breathe her in as he touched his lips to hers.

The first taste of her was always the sweetest, but it held a hint of the bittersweet as well, stirring that old ache of longing inside his chest.

His tongue slipped past her parted lips to slide against her tongue, delving into that heat with soft, hungry strokes. He traced and teased and nipped at her lips, one hand caressing her thigh as his other arm hooked around her waist. Gradually, he made that natural shift towards her, stretching out and settling in comfortably so their hips were flush, legs tangled, cradling her body to his. Joey murmured as she slid both arms around his neck, pulling him down closer. There was nothing rushed or urgent in any of it, and even though he felt the same heat of passion, at the moment Pacey enjoyed keeping it at a long, slow burn.

If he could have her everyday, it would always be like this.

She sighed into his mouth and he broke away with a smile, trailing warm kisses down to the hollow of her throat. He slid his hand up from her thigh to cup the round weight of her breast, kneading the soft flesh through the cotton of her t-shirt as he softly sucked on her neck.

She arched, pressing into his palm to offer more, and murmured his name on a quiet moan when he squeezed it gently, grazing the pad of his thumb back and forth to tease the hard nipple poking through.

His hand drifted down from her breast to where the t-shirt had ridden up on her body and he laid his hand flat against the exposed warmth of her tummy, his thumb gently stroking her smooth skin, her pulse like an electric current beneath his touch.

"Pace…" she whispered his name again in a way that told him he was touching her in all the right places. But he knew the map of her body by heart.

"Are you warm?" he asked, nuzzling her neck

She practically purred in response. "Mm-hmm…"

He touched his lips to the delicate shell of her ear, lowering his voice to an intimate whisper. "Are you happy?"

This time, he pulled back to see her face. Blinking her eyes open to reveal those gorgeous deep brown depths to him, she smiled.

"Yes."

"Good." He gazed down at his hand on her stomach, now caressing small circles. "Because I'm happy. I'm very happy."

Her head was resting on one of the couch pillows and she tilted it to regard him, her hair spilling down around her shoulders. "Then why don't you look very happy?" she said, lifting a hand to thread her fingers in his hair.

He brought his eyes back, furrowing his brow in mild surprise. "I don't?"

"Nope, not really."

"Eh, I don't know…" He sighed and shrugged a shoulder, grasping onto her thigh to adjust their positions, getting even more comfortable between her legs. "I was just thinking, I guess."

"Ah, I see…" She nodded her head sagely, as if that explained everything, and narrowed her eyes in concern. "And you hurt yourself? So that was your reaction to the pain?"

His brow went up on his faint smirk. "The pain of your jokes, you mean?"

"Hey!" She was still resting a hand on his shoulder and gave him a playful shove, her mouth dropping open to feign offense at the remark even as laughter danced in her dark eyes. He chuckled softly before leaning in to silence her, pressing her back into the couch cushions on another slow, deep kiss.

Her quiet moan dissolved into another sigh, his tongue sliding along hers to capture the sound as he made a slow, delicious sweep of her mouth. His hand slid up her stomach, under her shirt, moving up to the curve of her bra to gently massage the soft mound, satin gliding against his palm. Hooking his thumb, he eased the bra down a fraction of an inch to expose the tight rosy peak of her nipple; then slowly rolled it between his thumb and forefinger in a light pinch. She broke away from their kiss with a quiet gasp.

Pacey slid his hand around, heading in back for the clasp, her head pressed back into the couch pillows as his warm lips nipped at the most sensitive flesh of her neck. But, as his fingers dipped under her raised arm, still under her shirt, he couldn't resist making a small side trip to that highly ticklish spot. Capturing her mouth in another hot and hungry kiss, he applied just the right amount of pressure. She squirmed, a bubble of her laughter coming up to pop inside his mouth.

"Stop…" she broke away to laugh, trying to nudge him off.

"Sorry," he chuckled, murmuring against her lips before deepening the kiss. "Couldn't resist."

She melted back into his body on another sigh, her tongue so hot and sweet against his, yet stealthily Pacey's hand still roamed to where it shouldn't. This time he attacked without mercy.

He tickled her on the couch as she laughed in protest, her soft, muffled shrieks trapped beneath him, until she finally pressed hands flat to his chest to try to hold him off.

"Will you stop?" she pleaded, breathless from laughter.

Pacey gazed down at her, silky hair spilling into those shimmering deep brown eyes, still smoky with desire, her soft round cheek flushed pink, plush lips still swollen from his kisses.

"I tried, Potter," he smiled softly, eyes drifting down her beautiful face. "I just can't seem to do it."

There was an almost imperceptible shift in the curve of her smile as she gazed back up at him, her fingers trailing a slow path down his chest.

"So, you never said what it was you were you thinking about."

He shrugged slightly again, caressing her leg, somewhat slow and tentative in his response as he chose his words carefully. "Just that a year ago, even two, it didn't seem very likely or probable that I'd ever find myself back here," he explained. "And now I realize…" Pacey hesitated to put it out there again, lifting his hand to rub his chin.

Her soft voice gently prodded. "Realize what?"

It was true--he just couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Well, in one way or another, I was always here," he said. "I realized I never really left."

He buried his hand in her hair, threading through the silky tresses as he leaned down, intending to hide out a while inside her kiss, but eventually had to break for breath. Joey ducked in to nuzzle his neck, kissing softly with just brief touches of tongue in a way that was both sweet and seductive.

Sighing, he slid his hand back under her shirt, smoothing over the warm satin skin. Joey kissed her way back up to his mouth, where they met in a slow, hungry tangle of tongues. Gently, slowly, his hand moved down, tracing the outline of her navel before he dipped his fingers into the front waistband of her jeans.

Joey's gasp broke softly against his lips as he expertly undid the button and eased the zipper down, the small sound filling the cozy quiet of the afternoon. Pacey glanced between them, glimpsing powder blue bikinis, the enticing curve of her hip bone, the smooth slope of her toned tummy.

Lifting his eyes to watch her face, he slid his hand in, caressing the fabric before his skilled fingers slid down inside her panties, past the small triangle of dark hair, to seek out that hot, silken core.

"Pace…"

Joey arched her head back on a little breathy moan, and she tried to reach for him too, her hands fumbling at his jeans as if to get them off. But then Pacey found that aching center in a slow teasing stroke and, helplessly, she gave up in surrender. Grasping onto his shirt with another broken moan, she only held on tight, as if trying to keep balance.

In truth, Pacey didn't even care if she reciprocated. It was the first way he ever really got to love her, in the physical sense--the first way she ever let him love her. So, for him, it would always be enough.

Slowly, he slid a finger up inside as all that honeyed heat wrapped around him, groaning quietly under his breath. She was always so tight and so wet, more incredible than any imagined fantasy. At first, he just circled the finger as he felt the tension began seep from her body, yet his only intention was to build it up again. His thumb brushed over the highly charged pink bud, and he smiled when Joey made an unsuccessful attempt to suppress her gasp of pleasure.

A radiant light played across her features, even on this gray day, as her sexy, lithe body writhed against him, her t-shirt pushed up to the high, round swell of her breasts to reveal the muscles in her abdomen, softly toned and tan. As her hips slowly undulated back against his hand inside her jeans, he stretched the tight flesh, sliding another finger in. He thrust deep before drawing his hand back on a slow, sensual slide, again and then again, barely increasing speed and pressure even as she began to whimper with soft cries, rocking hard against it as her hand came down to cover his.

With deliberate, slow caresses, stroking slick heat, he captured her soft moans inside his deep kiss, feeling her strain, her whole body trembling. He sensed her struggle at she teetered on the brink, her careful restraint, always afraid to fall. Kissing her neck, teasing the sensitive pulse points in a slow suck, his husky murmur grazed past her ear.

Don't fight it so much he wanted to say, but buried that unspoken plea and instead gently urged her to come, whispering the kind of sweet endearments he reserved only for her, and for this.

Her hips lifted up as she arched on a silent gasp, clinging to him as he felt the tiny tremors tighten to rhythmic spasms, his fingers bathed in the tight clench of wet warmth. She pressed herself into his hand, her whole body shivering on the hot rush of her orgasm.
He eased off gradually, keeping a gentle pressure on the hot pulse until he felt her trembling subside. As her body relaxed, sinking back into the couch, he feathered kisses over her lips, her cheeks, her eyes, feeling her lashes flutter against his lips. Joey blew the tousled hair out of her face, and slowly smiled up at him. Tangled up in her, holding her in his arms, lying so close he could feel her heart beat again his, Pacey felt that warm ache spread throughout his chest, intensifying to one singular and undeniable fact of his being.

"I love you." He almost immediately felt the need to lighten his tone with a touch of humor, and quickly cleared his throat. "In case, you know, I hadn't already made that perfect clear."

Gazing up at him, Joey brought her hand to his cheek. Lifting her head, she grazed her plush lips over his before her hot and silky tongue slipped inside his mouth, curling around his tongue in a sweetly intoxicating slide of sensation. Pacey buried his hand in the back of her hair, sinking his whole body into that kiss, and into her. It was everything he could have ever asked for.

It just wasn't an answer.

The next morning dawned bright and sunny, the cheerful blue of the harbor rousing Pacey up and out of bed early than usual--though the commotion outside his window as another early business day began on the docks might've helped too. He was dressed, showered and well-caffeinated by the time he picked up Meg, so he decided to take a little drive out to the beach house. Despite the fact it was still early in the morning, he knew it was safe to assume other parents of a child under the age of six would already be up.

When he swung his truck into the sandy, pebbled driveway, sure enough Doug was already out on the deck, coffee in hand as Amy danced around him in a ballet tutu like a little fairy elf.

"Come on in," Doug greeted him, as he climbed the back steps to meet them on the deck, hiking Meg up in his arms. "There's coffee."

Pacey found a safe spot on the floor to deposit Meg, and Amy immediately plopped down next to her, chattering away to the baby like an old friend. Pacey had to laugh at the way Meg gazed up at him with an expression of soft delight before giving Amy her rapt attention.

Doug placed a hot cup of coffee on the counter and he'd just lifted it to his mouth when Jack appeared, fresh from the shower and dressed for work.

"Hey, Pacey." He grinned before turning to Doug. "Had a chance to tell him yet?"

"Tell me what?" Pacey asked, furrowing his brow as he glanced between them.

"Actually," Doug replied, reaching for a manila envelope on top of a stack of mail, "I'll do you one better and show you."

With a quizzical grin, Pacey took a swallow of coffee before reaching for the official looking form his brother held out. He immediately noticed the Commonwealth of Massachusetts seal stamped in the corner.

"What's this?"

"From the town clerk's office." They were both watching him with him expressions of anticipation.

Taking another sip of coffee, Pacey scanned the words on the page, realization dawning.

"Wait, is this a marriage license?"

Jack nodded his head, his grinning broadly. "And we have sixty days to make good on it."

"Seriously?" Pacey arched both eyebrows, his own grin slowly curving. Between the three of them, the possibilities for jokes and pranks had to always be a first consideration. "You guys are really going to do this?"

He got his answer in the way his brother smiled.

"Yes, we are."

Chuckling, Pacey placed his coffee down, and moved to grab each of them up in a hearty hug of congratulations.

"So when? Where?" he asked.

"We're looking at that long weekend in the beginning of October…Columbus Day weekend," Doug explained. "We kind of figured we'd go with a fall theme, and the gardens and conservation land behind the old Sea Pines Inn would give a great view of some foliage plus the ocean. And we can have the ceremony right in the gardens, too."

"And the night before…" Jack added, glancing at Doug.

"Maybe the rehearsal dinner at the Icehouse?" Doug finished for him.

"It's yours," Pacey replied without a moment's hesitation. "Whatever you need. So this is already a go?" He glanced between them again, never having really considered whether this was something they'd want to do. "Like I said, I know the place--they do quite a business this time of year. It must have been hard to book. How long have you been planning this?"

Doug and Jack looked at each other a moment before Jack answered. "A while now."

"There was kind of a lot going on this year," Doug helped explain, shrugging it off, "so we didn't really say much about it."

Jack nodded in agreement. "We even kind of debated doing the big family traditional thing."

Picking up on the subtle signs, Pacey realized what they weren't saying. With his marriage to Andie unraveling, the ugly divorce mess, finding out he was going to be a father followed immediately by Meg's birth and hospitalization, he probably filled the entire family quota for drama this year. And he felt guilty all over again, in a whole new way, to realize how it had affected everyone else around them-even infringing upon their personal pursuits of happiness.

"Which brings us to the next issue," Jack said with a sigh.

"Andie." Pacey ducked his head, rubbing a hand over his hair. It didn't really have to be said. "I know. But believe me, the last thing I would ever want to do is rub salt in any wounds. She doesn't need to know that Joey and I have…well, that we're…you know." He left it there, not for lack of vocabulary but because he honestly didn't know what to call them.

"Yeah, I agree she doesn't exactly need that thrown in her face." Jack grimaced slightly. "But there's more to it."

Furrowing his brow, Pacey waited.

Jack drew in a breath before speaking, and lifted one hand to gesture. "Now, I'm not saying he'd ever come and chances are he won't, but I wouldn't feel right completely excluding Dawson. I suppose I could say his invitation got lost in the mail, but…"

Even though this information landed in his stomach with a dull and distasteful thud, Pacey was quick with reassurances. "No, no…you shouldn't have to do that, Jack."

As much as it pained him to do so, Pacey knew he certainly couldn't regard Dawson as the bad guy here. Not this time.

Gone were the days when Dawson's jealous grudge against him bore the marks of his selfish and sanctimonious sense of entitlement. This time it was a little more justified, and a lot more personal. Not only did Pacey sleep with Joey when he knew full well that they were living together out in LA, involved in a committed relationship, but he got her pregnant.

Hell, Dawson still hadn't forgiven him for kissing her when they were only sixteen. He was pretty sure this wasn't going to help bury the hatchet (though he was sure Dawson would love to do so, and preferably somewhere deep within his person).

After a solid decade of being able to feel wrongly accused, it kind of sucked to have to prove the guy right-though Pacey still liked to think he wasn't the type of guy to do that to a friend. But he would, apparently, do it to Dawson.

Of course, when it came to Joey, all bets were off.

"It's very rare he ever makes a trip back here, especially now that Gale and Lily have moved away," Doug pointed out more logically. "I'm sure what will happen is that he'll send regrets and get one of his assistants to send some insanely expensive gift to make up for it."

A brief smirk crossed Jack's lips. "Well, that's what we're hoping anyway."

Pacey was able to manage a small chuckle, though the sound stuck a bit in his throat.

Jack frowned in the direction of the clock on the kitchen wall. "Damn…I really gotta run. We have a meeting at nine."

Pacey gave him another congratulatory pat on the back as they said their goodbyes. Doug waited until Jack's car was pulling out of the driveway before he turned to face him with a somewhat sympathetic and knowing smile.

"You're really going to be okay with this?

"Yeah, I am," he admitted with a sigh, glancing outside to gaze at the sparkling blue ocean in the distance. "I can't exactly speak for Joey, though."

It was a little after six o'clock when he pulled into the driveway back at the house, arriving there only seconds after she did. Looking stunning even in a simple business-like skirt and pale blue blouse, Joey emerged from her car with a smile, nearly taking his breath away.

Her arms were already halfway open to take Meg and, as Pacey handed her over, he was helpless to do anything but stand there, watching them both with an openly adoring grin. He knew he was probably doomed to be a complete pushover with his daughter, giving Meg anything and everything she asked for. All he wanted was for Joey to give him a chance to the same for her.

"So how was the day?" Joey asked, propping the baby on her hip as she headed towards the door.

Pacey grabbed her bag for her, following them inside.

"Eh, it was good. We stopped by the beach house this morning, so she got to play with Amy a while. And, ah, they had some news," he chuckled lightly. "Apparently we need to save the date of October 10th."

Joey gave him a quizzical glance over her shoulder. "For what?"

"They're making it official."

She stopped short, wide eyes matching her smile. "You mean they're getting married? For real?"

Pacey deposited her bag on a kitchen chair. "Yep."

"Wow…" She laughed, slightly stunned but obviously pleased to hear it. She carried Meg over to her highchair, laughing again as she secured her in. "Doug's come a long way, huh?"

Pacey narrowed his gaze. "Well, it was a very deep closet," he said.

He lingered in the soft sound of her laughter, hating that he had to ruin it.

"So, they're doing the whole reception deal at the Sea Pines Inn. It seems like they're planning a big party." He tried not to wince, scratching at his chin. "And, ah…obviously Andie will be there."

Joey was pulling a box of macaroni and cheese from the kitchen cabinet and paused. She glanced back at him without really meeting his gaze.

"Yeah, I guess that would be a little unavoidable, huh?" she said quietly.

Nodding his head, Pacey leaned to rest back against the counter. "What seems equally as unavoidable," he sighed, "is the fact they plan to invite Dawson."

Watching as she filled a pan of water at the sink, Pacey noticed her entire body still. Her expression suddenly went dark, as if nighttime dropped without warning to silence a sunny afternoon.

"Oh," was all she said.

"Makes for an interesting seating chart, at any rate," he offered, trying to lighten it up again.

Blowing out a shaky sigh, she turned to place the pan of water on the stove. Her hand was so unsteady some sloshed out, splashing onto the floor.

"Jo…" Pacey softened his tone with reassurances, jumping to wipe it up with a dishtowel, "you know as well as I do the chances of him actually making the trip all the way out here are slim to none."

"I know." She turned the burner on to boil; then brought her hands up to push her hair off her face. "But I guess I was wrong to let myself start believing I might never have to face him again, huh?" she admitted, glancing down.

Tossing the damp dishrag in the sink, Pacey frowned as he watched her, her mouth now set at a thin, tense line. He knew she wasn't going to take this well, but hated to see her still be so affected.

As unpleasant as a face-to-face might be, he considered Dawson to be so far out of their lives. What did she think he could even touch now?

"Well, if he does actually show," Pacey continued, feeling strangely irritated to be back here, having this kind of discussion, "I would hope even Dawson could respect the fact we're supposed to be there for Jack and Doug, and that it's their day."

Joey walked away to the refrigerator to get out some butter and milk. "Well, we'd probably all do well to remember that," she said in a low voice.

Pacey's quick reply came out a little sharper than he intended. "Meaning?"

Joey was opening the box of macaroni and kept her eyes on her task. "The only relationship that should deserve attention that day is theirs. So maybe we shouldn't, you know…" She acknowledged him with only a flick of her eyes. "Push it."

"Push it?" Pacey repeated. He wasn't quite sure he heard her right, and felt a touch of anger mar his disbelief-along with some other vaguely familiar feeling he didn't really want to identify.

She finally turned to face him. "The whole world doesn't necessarily need to know that anything is happening here." There was a weighted pause in her words. "With us."

Pacey furrowed his brow. "So, what then?" In all his wary skepticism he didn't know whether to smile or frown. "We should pretend it's not?"

"I just meant…" Sighing, Joey lifted her hands to let them drop. "It's not like we have to show up there, as some 'couple'." Then she folded her arms away, as if suddenly self-conscious to have them out there.

Pacey let out a soft but harsh snort of breath, something like a cynical laugh but not quite amused. Mulling this over, feeling increasingly agitated, he wondered why he hadn't seen this coming.

Nearby, Meg played with one of the plastic ring toys attached to her highchair tray, quietly amusing herself with soft singsong murmurs as she waited for her macaroni dinner.

Pacey had been completely understanding up to this point as to why Joey didn't really want anyone knowing about the details of their sex lives. He never considered she just didn't want anyone knowing about them, period--especially since they weren't exactly Capeside's best kept secret. He thought she just wanted to take it slow. Now he had to wonder if she ever really wanted to take it anywhere.

"I see." He struck a pensive pose, trying not to let anything like hurt of anger slip through the mask-but it was too hard to disguise his sarcasm. "I guess I'm just left with one question then. Would that mean we'd be covering up the truth, or just finally admitting to it?"

Joey's shoulder slumped on her sigh. "Pace…"

Instantly bothered by the sigh of concern he heard in her tone, he straightened from where he'd been leaning, reaching a boiling point much more swiftly than the water on the stove.

"You know what? Forget it," he sighed dismissively. "Whatever you want is fine by me. I gotta go."

"What?" Joey seemed completely thrown by his brusque manner. "Where are you going?"

"I have to get to the restaurant," he said simply, walking over to kiss Meg on the head. He didn't know what she expected of him here. "I have to work. I actually should've been there about a half hour ago."

Her dark eyes darted over his face, a fretful frown lurking in her expression.

"Well, are we okay?"

"Yep. We're fine," he said, turning for the door. "I'll just see ya later."

As if to prove his point, he ducked down to her cheek, leaving her with the lightest brush of his lips.

Joey lifted her hand to the spot as she watched him walk out, noticing the stiff line of his back. She could tell he was angry, no matter how he tried to play it off.

She hated that she was doing this again, pushing him safely back to a distance of arm's length. But the mention of Dawson's name turned her blood a little cold, filling her with a mild sense of dread, and suddenly those walls of defense came down all around.

Pacey was the kind of person who was capable of only honest and straightforward devotion, but he didn't always understand that he was in possession of a very rare quality. Joey did, and always appreciated it--even if it scared her a little bit too. Yet she knew he always understood her and loved her for who she was rather than in spite of it. Loyalty--especially of the heart--was a characteristic, a virtue, Joey valued in others above almost all else. Rather hypocritical, she knew, considering the fact she had rarely been loyal to her own.

The problem was that she couldn't forget those awful, vicious remarks Dawson made in that e-mail. He'd known her just as long, and--she once thought--just as well. Yet that's how he saw her now. That, she supposed, was also how he knew just what to say to hurt her so badly. The words left jagged burns scars across her memory.

'…tragically damaged…no idea how to be happy, constantly creating misery around you… incapable of any real feelings… everyone who was stupid enough to truly care for you, to put their trust in you…another emotional victim…'

Dawson had every right to be hurt and angry, however. She lived with him yet had sex with Pacey while he was married, and then kept her subsequent pregnancy a secret from both of them for far too long. Pacey had every right to be hurt and angry as well. It seemed there wasn't one part of this whole sordid mess that she managed to handle the right way.

Meg, obviously getting hungry, kicked her legs in her highchair and lifted her little voice.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Joey murmured, quickly sniffing back the bitter threat of tears before turning to finish the macaroni and cheese.

She almost couldn't even look at the baby, forced to remember a time when she thought of her as some terrible curse rather than an incredible gift.

She allowed Dawson to falsely believe she loved him and was committed to him, while she let Pacey go on in his life with Andie, his wife, planning for their future and their own family, never knowing that he was already a father to her unborn child.

He might never have known had different choices been made.

So, it wasn't just the thought of having to face Dawson again that had her shutting down. It wasn't really the threat of some possible confrontation or ugly scene that had her stomach tied in knots. It wasn't even the more painful sting his harsh words and accusations might bring, if delivered in person, that had her so afraid.

Joey's biggest fear was something so terrible she could barely admit it to herself, let alone express it to anyone else.

Her biggest fear was that Dawson's words just might hold some truth.

They stepped out of the theatre into the breezy evening air, and Joey slipped her hand easily into his. Even though some summer temperatures still lingered, the trees were starting to turn and a few fallen leaves skittered across the cobblestones as they walked along the sidewalk.

It was Saturday night and Joey had bribed Natalie with an offer of paid time-and-a-half to come over and baby sit so she and Pacey could go out for their date, as he originally wanted to do.

When she called to suggest the plan to him, however, her first order of business was to apologize. Pacey would have none of it, insisting there was nothing to apologize for. Since he readily agreed to dinner and a movie, Joey only hoped that was the truth. She'd spent the last two days beating herself up over it, afraid and dismayed to think she might have screwed this up so soon.

"So, be honest," she smiled over at him, her hand snug in his, "did you really like the movie?"

Though Joey knew it came dangerously close to being a 'chick flick', when they were buying the tickets, he didn't hesitate to agree to it. This, however, only made her worry he might be trying to overcompensate for some lingering bad feelings. It would be just like him to do that, and pretend he was okay.

Pacey's smile twitched briefly, as if caught, but then he narrowed his gaze with a tilt of his head.

"Actually, you know…it was all right," he replied, almost sounding surprised.

"Well, I read the book a few years ago and really wanted to see it," she explained, glancing over to keep an eye on his face, watchful of his every reaction, "so thanks for going with me."

Perhaps now she was the one guilty of overcompensating with too much gratitude, but Joey was near desperate to make this work, and to make this right.

"Hey…" He shrugged a shoulder to joke. "That's what I'm here for."

Joey slowed her steps on the sidewalk, keeping hold of his hand to slow him down as well. He turned partially to face her with a question in his smile, and Joey took the opportunity to lean in close. Lifting up on her toes, she gave him a soft and sweet kiss.

"I think it's a little more than that," she said, her whisper dancing across his lips.

She lowered her feet back to the ground, smiling up at him. Pacey just gave her hand a quick squeeze before he released her, ducking his head to step off the curb.

Blinking once, Joey's smile faltered, surprised to realize they were already at his parked truck. Troubled lines creased in her forehead as she stole a quick glance down to the end of the street, where the dark harbor glittered like starlight. Brown's Wharf was just around that corner. She had thought-hoped--they were walking back to his apartment.

Pacey had the passenger side door open and was waiting with a furrowed brow.

"What is it?" he asked. "Did you forget something?"

Joey shook her head, recovering with a smile. "Nope," she said as lightly as possible. Just mistakenly assumed something, that's all.

Hope remained on tentative hold as they pulled away from the curb, heading back in the direction of the house. She knew how awkward and clichéd it would sound to invite him in for coffee, but Joey was getting a little desperate here.

When Pacey finally pulled into the driveway and slowed to a stop by the front door, Joey noticed his arm move. For some reason, she panicked, thinking he might only be dropping her off, and this was him leaning over for the obligatory kiss goodnight. In all her nervous agitation, she dropped any pretense of polite invitation and just blurted it out.

"What? Aren't you coming in?"

Pacey paused on a mildly dubious frown. "Ah, yeah…I was planning to," he said, shifting his gaze back and forth as if he missed something. "I just needed to turn it off first, if that's okay."

"Oh." Joey shrank a few inches in her seat as she realized what he was reaching for was actually the truck ignition. "Right."

After Natalie was paid for the evening, Pacey walked her safely down the street back to her own house, and Joey quickly hurried upstairs to check on Meg. She just made it back down into the kitchen, slipping off her cropped wool jacket to drape it on a chair, when he reappeared.

"Do you want any coffee or tea?" she asked.

"Ah…I'm all set," he sighed, leaning back to rest against a counter-though even in that casual pose his body seemed a little stiff. "But if you want some, go right ahead."

Joey didn't really, but set about making some simply to keep her hands busy. Now that it was just the two of them, finally all alone, the moment seemed strained with tension. Yet Joey couldn't tell if it was something sexual, the nervous tingly thrill of anticipation that came at the end of the evening--or if instead it was some lingering anger or animosity, now that they were returned here to the scene of the crime, as it were. Was it going to draw them together at any moment, or end up tearing them further apart?

She didn't know, but she needed to find out.

"Pace…the other day?" To start, she kept her back to him. "When you dropped Meg off-"

Swiping a hand down his face in a weary gesture, he cut her off before she could go any further.

"We don't need to talk about that."

Sighing, she turned to face him, and her voice held both a plea and a demand.

"I want to talk about it."

Still leaning to rest against the opposite counter, he gave her a look, his blue eyes dark and solemn. But he said nothing, only waiting for her to continue.

"I really just want to protect what we have, Pacey," she said, trying her best to explain. "Because right now it's still so new…and I think we both know that admitting what we want has never been a guarantee. But protecting it is not the same thing as wanting to hide it."

He glanced at the floor. "I understand."

Joey took a tentative step towards him. "Do you?" she asked softly, moving even closer as she grasped lightly onto the front of his shirt, tilting her head to try to meet his eyes. "Really?"

"Yes," he sighed, and although he kept his head bowed, when she gently tugged on his shirt, pulling him in, he came willingly.

Lifting on her toes, Joey captured his bottom lip in a soft kiss, lingering there in invitation, needing him to take it. Removing his hands from his pockets, Pacey lifted them to cup her cheeks, and, swallowing her sigh on the slow, warm slide of his tongue, he not only accepted, but deepened it with tenderness.

She broke away on another sigh, leaning into him. "I've missed you, so much…"

Hands in her hair, the corner of his mouth twitched in gentle amusement as he dropped a soft kiss on her forehead. "It's only been a couple of days."

"Really?" Tilting her head back, she met his eyes. "Because it feels like it's been years."

Holding her gaze, his smile softened as he stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"In that case…" he sighed. "I missed you, too."

This time when he kissed her, it was with more heat and hunger, his tongue making a slow sweep of her mouth before he broke away on the quiet murmur of her name. Layering warm kisses along the slender column of her throat, his lips trailed a path over to the sensitive pulse points, using the tip of his tongue to gently trace the delicate shell of her ear. Joey trembled, whispering his name, and he captured the sound, his mouth covering hers in a slow, deep kiss.

With a muted groan, his hot mouth found her neck again, hands sliding up her body, palming her breasts, teasing the sensitive peaks of her hard nipples right through her light cashmere sweater and the satin of her bra as he pressed her up against the kitchen counter.

Dipping under the sweater where it rose up, he brushed his fingertips lightly over her quivering tummy, tracing soft circles on the warm exposed skin. In the next moment, in one swift and easy move, he somehow managed to lift it right up and off, stealing away her breath at the same time.

The heat of his fingers danced over her bare skin, making her shiver, as his hands teasingly skimmed her breasts cupped in the cream silk of her bra. Lowering his head, his tongue traced the edge before he covered the peak of one nipple with his mouth, so warm and moist against the cool silk.

Rocking back on the sensation, the edge of the counter digging into her, Joey cupped the back of his head, threading her fingers in his short cropped hair to hold him there, luxuriating in the thrill. She almost let out a soft whimper of disappointment when he ducked away, but the sound stilled in her throat as his lips burned a hot path straight down her stomach, and he dropped to his knees on the kitchen floor before her.

Glancing up once to meet her eyes with all that hot blue, Pacey made short work of her slim black pants, easing them down over her hips along with her silk panties. Closing her eyes, the visual too much, Joey's hands curved tight around the edge of the counter behind her, moaning hotly as his tongue slipped out to taste her. He let just the tip slide inside before parting the silken wet folds to flick it across that tiny pink bud, and Joey's breath returned in gasps.

He teased her with hot, wet kisses, his hands smoothing up and down her trembling thighs as he caress that sensitized flesh between her legs with soft licks and small sucks, dipping into her hot, honeyed core, exploring her so intimately. The swirl of his tongue as he traced slow circles around the hard pink center was so agonizingly erotic that her head fell back with a low moan and she gripped the counter more tightly, afraid her legs might give out, she felt so weak with want.

It was the most exquisite kind of torture, but Pacey didn't prolong it, kissing his way back up her body with the soft growl of his hot, hungry groan. Large hands gripping her waist, he hoisted her right off the floor, planting her atop the counter behind her. Lifting one leg and then the other, he pulled off her leather boots, letting each drop with a soft thud on the kitchen floor, and then rid her completely of her pants.

With trembling, fumbling fingers, Joey undid the buttons of his shirt, anxiously pushing it back off his shoulders. Pacey roughly shrugged it off before reaching around to unfasten her bra, and that fell away too. He barely got his own pants shoved down, easing tented boxer briefs over his rigid erection, before he slid in between her thighs. Drawing in her into his arms to capture her lips, their deep and passionate kiss sizzled with a mutual sigh when the round softness of her full breasts crushed up against his firmly muscled chest.

Her hands raked over his bare back, the scrape of nails leaving small pink trails on the tanned skin as their tongues tangled with wanton abandon. Curving hands under her thighs, Pacey slid her forward, dragging her bare bottom to the very edge of the counter. Her heart kept time with the rapid beat of her stuttered breaths as she wrapped her legs around him, tensing with the thrill of anticipation as she felt the hard press of his erection meet the soft swell of her belly.

Kissing her deeply, hands buried in her hair, his mouth hot on her lips, then her neck and the hollow of her throat, Pacey finally reached down between them to position the hard tip at her hot, moist core. Surging forward, he slid inside, burying himself completely between her thighs.

Joey cried out a desperate moan, bracing herself against the counter as she felt him pull all the way out and then thrust deep again, and then again, his blunt fingertips digging into her thighs. Even as he filled her completely, she wanted him closer, deeper, and locked her legs to bring him in.

This was pure desire, the heat of need burning so hotly between them, a passion that never dimmed, a hunger that could never fully be satisfied. This was what used to scare her about him, and about them, when she found herself spinning so wildly out of control, the kind of love that made her lose control.

Whispering her name on a soft groan, Pacey lowered his head to the hollow of her neck, licking, tasting and nipping at the warm flesh. He thrust even deeper, hips pumping with a more determined focused, the position allowing him to easily hit that sweet spot and heighten her ache of pleasure.

For someone so verbal, so prone to joking humor, there was a quiet and focused intensity in his passion that never ceased to surprise. He took her so slowly and deeply against that kitchen counter, so all Joey could do was tremble and cling to him, her moaning in soft, broken breaths against his neck.

"Pacey…" she cried softly when she was there, clutching at his broad shoulders for leverage and balance as she brought her hips off the counter to rock back against his deep strokes. "Yes, yes…"

He fastened his mouth to her neck, and the slow suction only intensified the deep throb, hot tension coiling and building to that perfect climax of sensation. She exploded on a strangled cry, in that white hot burst of light, her body convulsing around his hard heat in spasms of pure ecstasy. His body shuddered almost violently in response, groaning into her neck as his orgasm crashed into hers, pulsing so hotly inside her tremors.

Gradually, he eased off, slowing the pumping movement of his hips. But he only wrapped her up tighter in his strong arms, burying a soft sigh in her hair.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, nuzzling her ear to kiss her neck as he smoothed gentle caresses over her back.

Joey smiled, head resting on his shoulder, reveling in the feeling of him, still so deep inside her, chests rising and fall as his heart beat in time with hers. She knew he sometimes would feel this concern for her well-being after anything particularly rough or rushed or passionate--as if it were even possible for him to love her too much.

Filled with him, surrounded by him, held so safely and tenderly in his arms, Joey sighed, closing her eyes to hold on.

"Yeah…now I am."

Glancing in her rearview mirror, Joey smiled at Amy fastened safely in the borrowed booster seat before checking on Meg, snug in hers.

"Ready for some lunch, girls?"

"I am!" Amy replied with her usual happy energy, and Meg kicked her legs and babbled, excited to have a travel companion along.

It was a glorious day, the sky so endless and blue above. The sun-warmed water sparkled brilliantly, foamy waves rolling onto a clean sandy shore, the town beach stretched out for miles, returned to its pristine glory. Downtown, all the leafy trees along Main Street swayed in the warm breezes off the Nantucket Sound, while cafes and restaurants opened their doors wide, tables set up outside. Joey recognized several familiar faces strolling past shops, relaxing on sidewalk benches, everyone greeting each other with happy smiles.

It was something no one really advertised, but September, when all the summer people were gone, was inevitably the single most perfect month of the season, if not the whole year. Warm sun-drenched days, zero humidity, evenings comfortably cool, with the ocean as clean and refreshing as a day at the spa. Nature's gift, perhaps, to the year-rounders for having to put up with the influx of tourists those other three long months.

Of course, it always made the return to school just a little more difficult. Even Jack had been tempted to play hooky on a day like today, but he had some important teachers' conference to attend. But, with Grams up in Boston for her annual appointment with her doctors, his dad away on a business trip and Doug working a double shift at the station, he was stuck when it came to picking up Amy from preschool.

Joey had been secretly thrilled to get the call. With their friendship still on a slow mend, she felt some small honor to be entrusted with his daughter's care like this--even if she happened to be the only available option left in town.

She brought both girls back to her house, setting Amy and herself up with lunch on the deck while Meg had some yogurt and applesauce in her highchair. After that, she spread a blanket out in the yard for the baby and let them play, Amy taking charge of every game while Meg simply looked on in fascination, every so often bouncing where she sat in dimpled delight.

Jack arrived right on time to pick her up, smiling his hellos as he came through the kitchen and out onto the deck. Joey was hoping he might stay and visit a while, so had a pitcher of iced tea and some snacks waiting. Jack never turned down snacks.

"I have the final menu for the rehearsal dinner," he said, pulling it from his back pocket as he took a seat at the outside table. "If I could maybe just leave this here for Pacey." Only the briefest hint of a teasing grin crossed his face. "I have a feeling you might be seeing him before I do."

Joey only nodded her head with a smile, but didn't comment, ever cautious on the subject of their relationship.

"Oh…" Shifting in his deck chair, Jack then reached into his other pocket. "I also picked up the rings, if you'd like to see them."

This time Joey didn't hesitate, lighting up in anticipation. "Oh, yes…I'd love to!" She leaned forward to get a better look. "Wow, Jack…" She reached out to finger the unique etched details in the thick silver bands, an original creation of one of the local artisan jewelers downtown. "They're beautiful."

"Yeah," Jack said, smiling as well as he admired them. "It's going to be a really simple service, just the exchange of rings with some vows we're going to write…just the two of us up there." He shrugged a shoulder as he put the rings away. "I mean, if we were to do a whole traditional thing with a wedding party, I would have chosen to have Andie up there next to me. And Doug…" His voice drifted off there as he cleared his throat with a slightly furrowed brow, and it was apparent to Joey that he just remembered who he was talking to here.

"And Doug would have, of course, had Pacey," she finished for him with the hint of a sigh in her soft voice.

He met her eyes with the faint impression of a smirk. "Woulda been a little awkward."

"Yeah." The corner of her mouth turned up in a sad smile of acknowledgement as Joey reached for her iced tea. She brought it to her mouth but only gazed down into the glass a moment. "Jack, you know I'm so happy for you guys and I love you both," she suddenly blurted out, placing the glass down. "Which is why I would be fine with sitting out this wedding--in person, I mean," she rushed to amend, reaching over to touch a hand to his arm, "because I would completely be there for you in spirit. But you don't deserve to have to feel uncomfortable, or have a day that should only be a happy one for your family compromised in any way. I more than understand."

She thought she was doing the right thing, and was trying to be a good and selfless friend--taking one for the team--but Jack only seemed confused and perturbed by the suggestion.

"No," he frowned, "I don't want that. We don't want that." He leaned forward, resting elbows on the table to speak more candidly. "Look, if it's Dawson that has you concerned, we haven't received his response--but you know as well as I do that we'll probably be getting the card congratulating us but sending his regrets any day now. And as for Andie…" Here, on the mention of his sister, his voice softened. "Well, she's always been stronger than anyone gives her credit for, I think. She already assumed if you two aren't together now, you will be eventually, so…" He left it there with a vague shrug of his shoulder.

Joey frowned dubiously. It sounded a little too easy, like she was just being let off the hook.

"She said that?"

Jack's smirk of amusement made a brief reappearance. "Not in so many words, but I think it's safe to say it was--and is--the universal assumption made."

A corner of her mouth twisted sadly, appreciative of the fact he could still gently joke with her in this way, even if they both knew how much pain Andie went through.

"That doesn't mean it won't suck for her to have to see it," she said.

"Oh, no…it will totally suck," Jack readily agreed, skipping the sugarcoating with a comical snort. "Big time. Oh, there's no way around that."

This managed to get a small, reluctant laugh out of her. Grinning, Jack took a swallow of iced tea before his smile softened.

"You want to know something?" he asked quietly, gazing down into the glass. "And this is just between us."

He was waiting on her response with an arched brow so Joey quickly nodded her head.

"There's this guy down in Providence, another doctor…she went to medical school with him," Jack said. "He's been pretty much her shoulder to cry on since the day she arrived, but I have a feeling it might be turning into something more. In fact, she may bring him to the wedding." He shrugged his shoulder again. "For a lot of reasons, she'd really prefer to keep her private stuff private…but I thought you might like to know."

Amy walked over to him then, needing her sneaker laces tied. Joey drew in a shaky breath to exhale slowly, absorbing this new and rather surprising information. Of course it didn't change the past, but it did cast a little brighter glow on the future--most especially the immediate future of the wedding, knowing Andie wouldn't have to be there alone.

"Well, I have to admit that is nice to hear," she finally replied and then hurried to explain, needing to make it perfectly clear that this didn't absolve her from her crimes. "It's just that I really want her to find some happiness, Jack. I hate, hate the fact that what I've found has to coincide with what she lost. I'm never going to feel right about that. It's just not fair."

"Well, unfortunately, life doesn't always play fair." Jack finished tying Amy's sneaker and stroked a hand over her hair before she scampered back over to Meg. His eyes lingered on the little blonde girl, and something in his voice changed, like it was coming from some faraway place. "I think we can safely say that's one lesson we've all learned."

Following his gaze to Amy, she smiled sadly. "Yeah, I guess you're right about that."

Then he turned to meet her gaze with a more knowing smile.

"But it sure does have a funny way of working itself out."

Joey held his gaze before reaching across the table for his hand, their fingers intertwining in a gentle, familiar squeeze.

"Watch me!" Amy suddenly cried out with excitement. They both glanced over to see she'd managed to climb up onto a branch of the small dogwood tree and was now swinging from it like a gymnast's bar.

"Wow…impressive!" Joey called out with a smile. "Meg, look what Amy can do."

The baby, however, was already gazing up in awe, her blue eyes filled with wonder. Amy let go with one hand to wave but almost slipped before she caught herself. Although she nearly brought both adults to their feet, she only giggled and let out a "woops!"

"That kid," Jack snorted under his breath, shaking his head as he sat back, but there was the sound of pride in his tone. "She has absolutely no fear right now." He glanced at Joey. "I think you must learn it, you know?"

"Or earn it," Joey added, almost without thinking.

Jack smiled, tilting his head in consideration. "Yep--that too," he agreed.

It was in that moment that Joey knew she and Jack would be okay. Somehow, they would find a way. At the very least, they always managed to understand each other--like her and Pacey in a lot of ways but different too. She and Pacey had something that was, at times, volatile and passionate, other times infinitely sweet and tender, the ever-shifting dynamic of two seemingly polar opposites who were actually identical at their core.

Yet both he and Jack were constants in her life, the kind of people who actually help give you a sense of your life. And sometimes, just knowing those people are out there, in it still, can be enough.

Only in Pacey's case, maybe for a long time she convinced herself it was enough simply because she was too afraid to admit she wanted more.

After Jack left with Amy, Meg ended up dozing right off with her bottle on the blanket in the backyard. Joey grabbed her book off the kitchen counter and curled up nearby in a lounge chair on the deck, happy to let her enjoy a little fresh air nap.

At one point, she almost drifted off herself, so when Pacey was suddenly there, for a moment she wasn't sure if she was still inside a dream. He came up behind her chair, his hands smoothing down her neck and kneading her shoulders in gentle massage.

"Mmm…" she murmured in lazy appreciation as he applied that perfect pressure. Taking off her glasses, she placed her book aside to lay it on the arm of the chair. Then, smiling, she tilted her head back, meeting him halfway in an upside-down kiss.

"Look at her," he chuckled, breaking away from the kiss to shift his blue eyes to the baby sleeping nearby.

He came around to take a seat in the lounge chair next to her. Joey let her gaze briefly linger on Meg before she glanced at him.

"We're really lucky, huh?" she asked softly, as it was one of those realizations that only came to her gradually, revealing itself a little more with each passing day. Or perhaps it was her who was finally opening up to accept her reality.

Face it, Joey. Your life is perfect.

"Well, I know I am," Pacey sighed with a self-deprecating chuckle, easing back in the chair. "You? I'm afraid it's debatable."

"I think I'm lucky," she said more definitively. When she returned her gaze to Meg, however, her smile started to fade. "I only wish I could ensure it would somehow all rub off on her."

Pacey chuckled again, cocking his head to watch the round, rosy-cheeked baby sleeping peacefully in the dappled sunshine, her fleecy blanket spread out on a soft bed of grass. "Yeah, she's got it tough, our little one."

"I just meant…" Frowning, her hands in motion, Joey tried to explain. "I don't want her to ever have to pay for our-I mean my mistakes."

She winced inwardly, wishing it hadn't come out like that. Once again, she hadn't intended to make him feel bad. She just couldn't seem to stop herself.

Pacey only lowered his eyes. "No," he sighed, a sound of quiet resignation in the sound. "You had it right the first time. It was both of us."

She turned to look at him. "I'm talking about how I grew up in this town, Pacey," she said, trying to make sure he understood. "The way people looked at me, talked behind my back, made assumptions about who I was…all because of the things my father did. I don't want her to ever have to experience anything like that, but the gossip and rumors are already out there. People aren't just going to forget you were married, or that I was living out in LA with someone else. All of us, everyone involved, came right here from this little town--and it seems it only gets smaller everyday."

He rubbed at his chin, sighing again. "Jo, granted, we broke commitments made to other people, and those people got hurt. It was a bad thing…one I really wish never had to happen. But, sorry, I don't really consider that kind of mistake to be in quite the same category as illegal drug trafficking." He shrugged a shoulder, his gaze shifting with his voice. "Then again, I don't really consider you a mistake."

"I don't consider you a mistake either, Pacey," she insisted, keeping a level tone to convey that one point with absolute clarity. "You know that. But, whether or not it was a matter of following our hearts--trust me, there are very few people out there who are ever willing to give the benefit of the doubt."

He glanced away, and there was a subtle yet undeniable touch of sarcasm in his tone. "You don't say…"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asked sharply, narrowing her gaze, although she knew immediately that it was somehow meant for her.

"Nothing." Pacey seemed to shake it off, and then he swung his legs around in the lounge chair so he was sitting on the edge of it, facing her chair, elbows resting on his knees. "Look, it's natural as a parent to worry. I know-I do it too," he admitted more openly, speaking with his hands. "It can be a big bad world out there. But you can't always compare your experiences to what hers will be, or assume the worst. She's gonna grow up and have a great life here, filled with nothing but happiness." He reached for her hand resting on the arm of her chair, taking it in both of his. "And so, from now on, are you."

Gazing down at their fingers intertwined, a glimpse of those two wedding rings passed briefly through her mind, leaving a small shiver down her spine. She lifted her eyes to his.

"And how do you know that?" she asked, but a corner of her mouth curved up to soften the question.

Holding her gaze with all that blue, Pacey smiled. And, lifting her hand, he bowed his head to kiss it softly.

"Because I'm gonna make sure of it, that's how."

Grabbing one side of a four-top, Pacey carried it across the restaurant floor with Aidan to line it up with all the others. He glanced quickly at his wristwatch as he did so, grateful that Joey had offered to pick up his suit at the tailors and leave it at his apartment. He barely had time to shoot back there now to shower and dress.

"Are we putting out all of these?" Quimby asked, holding up one of the votive candleholders from the box, each in the shape of a frosted glass leaf.

"Eh, once we get the tablecloths on, just line some up down the center, I guess," he replied.

"Well, aren't these fancy!" she said, motioning towards the rich forest green, gold and deep wine colored linens and napkins folded to the side, something to dress up the usual nautical blue décor.

"Yes," Pacey noted dryly, "Doug brought those in. Apparently we're going with a theme here. They're very big on themes."

It was then that she found the basket of miniature pumpkins and autumnal gourds Doug also wanted for the table centerpieces.

"Oh cute!" she exclaimed lifting one up. "They're shaped just like little penises! How perfect!"

He paused with a faint smirk. "Yeah, I don't think that was exactly what he was going for." He pretended to chastise her. "'Big Gay Wedding Party' is not a theme."

"No, it's just what you wrote down on the reservations sheet booking the room tonight," Aidan grinned.

"Yeah, I did do that, didn't I?" Pacey chuckled at his own humor.

Once Quimby walked away to start dressing up the tables, Aidan glanced at him, lowering his voice to speak more confidentially.

"So…can I assume Andie going to be at this thing?"

"Yes, since Jack is her brother, and he is the one getting married, that is safe to assume," Pacey sighed with only slight sarcasm.

"That'll kind of weird, huh?"

Rubbing at the back of his neck, Pacey was about to make another sarcastic comment about his friend's uncanny ability to state the obvious, but he actually had to think about this one a minute.

In truth, he had only the most minimal anxiety about having to face Andie tonight. He was prepared to deal with any awkwardness or discomfort, and was hopeful that it could be a relatively painless encounter--most especially for her.

What was actually weird about the situation was that Pacey felt he'd lost that connection to his former life. It didn't even feel like him anymore, in looking back. It was almost like it happened to some other guy--one he knew really well, but someone else nonetheless.

In that other life, he had a wife but no children. In this one, he had a child but no wife. Yet this life felt more like the real thing--and he felt more married to Joey than he ever had to anyone else. His commitment to her, in his heart, ran so deep that it wasn't one he had to officially or even consciously make. In fact, it made him. It made sense of his life. It always had.

Pacey never completely lost his connection to her. It was more like it got misplaced, but he always knew it was there somewhere, just waiting to found. And now that she was back it was like he had a missing part of himself back.

"By the way, when your brother Doug was here earlier, he seemed a little jittery," Quimby said, moving closer to place the candles. "Poor guy…it must be nerve-wracking to know you're on the twenty-four hour countdown to your wedding. I feel bad for him," she laughed.

"Really?" Pacey arched an eyebrow, lining the last table up just right. "I envy him."

When he was met by silence, he glanced up to notice both Aidan and Quimby had stopped what they were doing to exchange knowing looks before they smiled at him. It occurred to him then he'd said too much, completely giving himself away.

"What?" he frowned gruffly, lifting his hands. "Am I suddenly the only one working here?"

"Sorry, boss," Quimby replied, biting back a laugh as she returned to her task.

"Yeah," Aidan snickered, ducking his head. "Sorry."

"Screw you both," he muttered, but had to cover his own smile. "I'm going home to get ready."

Tucked away in a quiet corner, Joey dipped the small plastic spoon into the bowl before bringing it to Meg's mouth, her pretty dress covered and protected by a plastic lobster bib. The kitchen made it up especially for her--freshly pureed squash with a touch of butter and cinnamon--and one of the waitresses even offered to feed it to her while their table enjoyed their adult meals.

Joey thanked her but declined. Maybe she was a bit of a coward, but she was glad to have the distraction of the baby to hide behind.

She stole another glance in the direction of the laughing voices, dinner now over and people lingering over dessert. Andie was there with her new doctor friend, but they only exchanged a quick hello, mostly for appearances sake. He seemed very nice, completely attentive and perhaps even a little enamored of her. Joey could only hope it led to something good.

She knew how difficult this must be for her. Pacey had hired a lot of new wait staff at the end of this summer, all of them in love with Meg and always making such a fuss over her. They were also exceptionally friendly to Joey, aware of her connection to both Pacey and Bodie. The ones still here who did know Andie obviously didn't quite know what to say or how to act, so they simply stayed away.

To Andie, it probably felt like walking into a different place--or like someone had walked into her life and walked away with it.

Joey nearly winced at the thought, her forehead creasing into a frown as she spooned out more squash. Meg held out a little hand, pushing it away to indicate she was done. Untying her bib and cleaning her up with a wipe, Joey lifted her from the highchair to settle the baby on her lap. Wrapping her up tight, she pressed a kiss to her head.

She hoped it wasn't like that for Andie, but one thing was certain. Joey gave her a lot of credit for handling it so gracefully and being here for her brother. Pacey may have made decisions that turned out to be wrong for him, but his heart usually led him to good places, and to other good people. Perhaps that was the difference in not letting his heart be ruled by fear.

Joey couldn't exactly say the same-but, then again, very rarely were her choices in the past even led by her heart's direction. More often than not, she went running the other way.

Glancing around the restaurant as she rocked Meg in her arms, votive candles flickering to create a rather dreamy glow, she supposed it was stupid of her to have wasted so much time worrying about Dawson. He was never going to come to this--though it had been rather rude of him not to even respond. He shouldn't let his bad feelings for her affect other friendships like this, but in the end it would have to be his loss.

"Still hiding out, I see."

She glanced up to see her sister Bessie approaching, pretty in a flattering jade green silk dress.

"I'm not!" she insisted, though she held on even tighter to her baby, and her sister's soft smirk was full of disbelief. "She was really hungry, but took her own sweet time with the squash."

"Well, she looks like she's done to me," was Bessie's wry observation.

Joey realized she was probably clinging to her like a child would to a teddy bear, seeking that comfort and security. She relented with a sigh. "Well, now I need to get her out of this dress, change her diaper and put some pajamas on. You know she'll be out like a light when she gets in the car, and I want her all ready for bed first."

"Not only can I do all that," Bessie offered, "but I can even take her home with us, if you want. We need to get Alexander out of here and home to bed soon anyway. He has a Pop Warner football game at 9:00 in the morning. And that way, you can stay as long as you like."

Joey's frown deepened as she snuck another dubious glance in the direction of the rehearsal party group.

Bessie sighed, taking a seat with her. "Look, it's not wrong of you to celebrate tonight, you know," she said pointedly, but her tone was gentle. "And it's certainly not wrong of you to celebrate with him. You've hardly spent a moment together, and yet everyone knows you're together. So why bother to hide it?"

Joey lowered her eyes. "Only six months ago he was still married to her."

"Yeah," Bessie replied with her typical blunt candor, "and his life was a big miserable mess."

Joey hated to imagine Pacey had really been that unhappy, hating herself a bit for partly wanting it to be true. Even though she felt such sympathy for Andie in this situation, she was still a little jealous that Pacey had belonged to her once. Pursing her lips on a thoughtful frown, she tried to suppress another small sigh.

"Sometimes I wish--I wish we got our shot, fair and square, you know?" Lifting her eyes to meet Bessie's gaze, she shrugged a shoulder. "Just the two of us…no one else to hurt or involve. And that doesn't mean taking her out the equation," she added, smoothing a hand over Meg's soft brown hair as she ducked down to give her a kiss on her round cheek. "It's actually because of her. I wish we had a better story to tell, of how we-and she-came to be. It's like Pacey and I…" Shaking her head, she sighed again. "We fell in love way too soon but figured it all out way too late, after so much damage was done."

"It's not too late," was Bessie's quick and confident reply. "Not by a long shot. In fact, your lives are really just beginning."

Joey glanced over, watching Pacey as he laughed with Jack and Doug across the room. When he turned away to pick up his beer, his eyes immediately went to her, smiling almost uncertainly as he held her gaze through the crowd and lifted his hand in a small wave. He was only respecting her spoken wishes in keeping his distance, Joey knew that. The only problem was that it wasn't what she really wanted.

Now if she could only communicate what she actually wanted, instead of trying to convince herself it was too good to be true, things would be great.

It seemed Joey was proficient in analyzing every aspect of a situation in order to seek out any possible catch, any hidden angle, or any way it could remotely go wrong. Yet she somehow lacked the basic ability to see what was right there in front of her.

And there Pacey was, right in front of her, everything about him so true and so good.

"Maybe I will have you take her," she murmured, resting her chin on Meg's head, half thinking out loud.

"Yeah?" Bessie arched her eyebrows before quickly covering a yawn. "Fine by me. I'm ready to call it a night anyway, especially when we have to do it all over tomorrow. You have the diaper bag?" She stood from her seat. "I'll go change her now."

"It's right on the back of that chair." Joey motioned towards it before giving her a grateful smile, "Thanks Bess."

Joey stood on slightly shaky legs once her sister lifted the baby from her lap to walk away. Smoothing down her dress, she drew in a deep breath and tucked her hair behind her ears. One thing she would always regret from their younger years was making him wait so long, denying herself what she really wanted just because she was too afraid to have it all.

Pacey said they had to get some credit for being older and wiser, and Joey decided it was time she started cashing a little of that in.

Nobody else here was looking back or dwelling on the past; tonight's celebration was all about the promise of the future. Even Andie was ready to move on. Everybody, all their friends around them, were moving on in their lives, moving towards their own kind of happiness, finding it where they could.

And hers stood right across the room.

Joey made her decision then and there. It was time. They would have their first night together--of sorts--in the house, in her bed, just the two of them. He would take her home, and she would ask him to stay.

Now all she needed to do was find Pacey and tell him that. She noticed Jack had moved to sit with his father and Doug had walked away to chat with some friends.

"Doug, have you seen Pacey?" she asked as she came up beside him, her heart beating up inside her throat just to say his name.

"Yeah," he smiled, inclining his head. "He went to check something out in the kitchen."

"Thanks." She left him with a squeeze of hands, a silent wish of luck that was as much for him and Jack as it was secretly for herself.

Approaching the kitchen, Joey thought about the last heartfelt conversation they had in here, years ago, on the day of Jen's memorial service. She walked away from him that day, as difficult and gut-wrenching as it was, ignoring her heart as it screamed and cried for her to turn back around and go straight into his arms.

The door swung open just as she was about to press through, and suddenly they were face to face.

His warm blue eyes lit up on his smile. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," she grinned a little breathlessly.

"You're taking off now, huh?" he said, rubbing hands up and down her arms in a quick gesture of affection, taking advantage of the privacy of their location. "I just saw Bessie going to change Meg, and figured you were getting her home to bed. And actually," he drew in a breath, waiting on her reaction and response as he brushed her long hair back off her shoulders, "I know I said I'd take you home, but I was kind of hoping you might be able to catch a ride with them--if that's okay."

Joey's lips parted, but he continued on before she could say anything.

"See, after I help close up here, I was gonna stay the night out at the beach house with Doug and Jack. It's not like I ever threw either one of them a bachelor party so, you know, I'll do my best to amuse and entertain," he chuckled before comically narrowing his gaze. "Only I'm not sure of the protocol tomorrow morning. Am I supposed to keep the groom from seeing the groom before the ceremony, or…" Suddenly he paused on a quizzical smile, tilting his head to regard her more closely. "Hey, are you okay?"

Joey realized her disappointment had to be written all over her face, so she quickly forced on a bright smile. It was obvious he was in a great mood right now and looking forward to this time with his brother and Jack. With the way all their relationships had been so strained in the past year, there was no way she could deny him this. She wouldn't even want to try.

"Um, yeah…yes," she said quickly. "I'm fine. But you're right…" She feigned a yawn, bringing a hand to her mouth. "I am tired. And I should catch Bessie to get that ride before she leaves."

He grinned then, looking every bit like a little boy who was just told he could go out and play.

"Okay." Still holding her shoulders, he brought her in close, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'll see ya in the morning?"

"Yeah," she smiled up at him. If not tonight, there would still be tomorrow--and then the whole rest of their lives. "See you then."

The Sea Pines Inn was one of the many historical and charming turn-of-the-century homes on the Cape Cod coast, the sprawling twenty-acre estate boasting two small freshwater ponds and some gorgeous botanical gardens. It was right in the flower garden, under an ivy-covered trellised archway, where Jack and Doug had their small and private ceremony, with the larger, festive reception taking place right afterwards inside the formal dining room, spilling onto a spacious outside deck with sweeping ocean views

The late afternoon sun beat down from a cloudless blue sky, softened and cooled by the lovely sea breezes coming in off the bay. They couldn't have asked for a more gorgeous day for a wedding, especially in this setting, and Joey couldn't have been happier for them.

The affair was both casual and elegant, a mix of both their tastes, with a spread of fancy gourmet dishes on the buffet table but-thankfully--no assigned seating for the guests. So Joey was grateful when Pacey diplomatically guided her right away from the table where his parents were trying to wave them over, instead finding a cozier table out on the deck with his sister. She wanted to keep a fairly low profile as much as possible today, and Gretchen was the perfect company--keeping both the sarcasm and the champagne flowing. Joey was here to celebrate, but didn't want to take anything away from Andie's enjoyment of the day.

After all, hadn't she already taken enough?

Although Andie unfortunately had to leave early to get back to Providence and her responsibilities at the hospital, she did seem to have a great time--dancing with her date, laughing with her brother, all the while wearing a bright and genuine smile. For that, Joey was grateful, too.

These were not the only reasons for her happiness, however. Her courage may have wavered here and there throughout the day, but it had not failed her yet, and she was still planning on asking Pacey to stay with her tonight. Of course, all that champagne was buoying her courage and keeping it afloat. Frowning faintly, she took another sip, but finally placed the crystal flute down. Too much bravery, however, probably wasn't necessary.

If tomorrow was really going to be the first day of the rest of their lives, she preferred not to wake up hung-over, clutching a toilet bowl.

She did, however, want to wake up with him.

Glancing around, hoping to spot him in the crowd, Joey had to pause and laugh when she caught sight of both Jack and Doug out there boogying down with Grams on the dance floor as the impressively talented band grooved along with an old James Brown classic.

"God, they are so white," Gretchen sighed under her breath next to her before she laughed too, obviously watching the same scene unfold. She then turned towards little Amy, currently enjoying her third piece of wedding cake. "So you're pretty lucky kiddo. How many kids get to have two such awesome dads?"

"I know," was Amy's matter-of-fact reply. Licking a thick blob of white frosting off her finger, she glanced at Joey. "And Meg is lucky to have Pacey for a daddy, too, because he's wicked fun."

"Yes, he is wicked fun," Joey smiled in agreement. "As he would be the first to tell you."

Gretchen laughed again. "Hey, have you checked in yet with the babysitter, by the way?"

Joey nodded her head, patting her slim leather bag that held her cell phone. She'd checked in about seven times, but who was counting. "I just called, and she was having her dinner, right on schedule."

"Oh no!" Amy's little cry broke into their conversation, her frosting covered hand going to her head. "My flowers!"

Her wavy blonde hair had been done up into a little bun with Grams that morning at the hairdressers downtown, but the wreath of real autumn wildflowers they pinned in place was starting to come loose and slide right off.

"Oh, we can fix that, sweetie," Gretchen immediately assured her, sliding her chair back from the table to stand. "They have all kinds of emergency beauty supplies in a big basket in the ladies room. C'mon," she held a hand out to the little girl, "Auntie Gretchen will have you back to looking fabulous in no time."

When Gretchen glanced over to let her know they'd be right back, Joey only nodded her head distractedly, having finally located Pacey on the other side of the dance floor.

Smiling, she stood from the table and started towards him, making gradual progress through the wedding guests. Pacey was in the middle of a conversation with a bunch of guys but when he happened to glance over, she noticed him pause, all words seeming to vanish. He excused himself from the group and simply waited there for her to join him, holding her gaze as he smiled.

Although he'd teased her with a few discreet glances and murmurs of appreciation in her ear over the course of the long afternoon, this time he didn't even try to disguise the way his near-awestruck, appreciative gaze drank her in so deeply.

Her dress was expensive silk, a deep rich merlot, daringly strapless with a fitted bodice that managed to do something quite remarkable to her breasts. (Now eight months old and far too curious about every little thing around her, Meg had decided to wean herself, preferring the mobility of the bottle. But so far it had very little effect on her size, and her C cup almost overfloweth.) And, while she usually opted to clip her hair up, today she let it fall long and sleek and dark past her smooth summer-bronzed shoulders.

The tiny air of confidence with which she carried herself, however, didn't really come from the fact she knew she looked good-or that she knew she had done everything humanly possible within her power and limited finances to look good. Even in this boutique designer dress that fit her like a glove, and despite the ridiculous amount of money she spent at that exclusive salon on Newbury Street this week, there was nothing that could make her feel as confident and as sexy as the way he was smiling at her right in this moment.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself," Pacey replied. Reaching out to take her hand, he gently stroked his thumb across her knuckles, his touch holding a quiet kind of thrill. "So, how're you doing? Did you get enough to eat? Can I get you another glass of champagne?"

Joey could only smile up at him for a long moment, secure in the knowledge that Meg wasn't the only lucky one. While a moment ago the pure lust in his gaze was evident, there was nothing but sweet and doting tenderness in his questions. No one else had ever loved her quite like this, or could give her what he could. Maybe motherhood was softening her, but Joey realized it wasn't so bad to admit she always wanted this and needed it in her life-that she'd always wanted and needed him.

"No, I'm good," she said lightly, and then casually flipped back her hair. "In fact," giving him a glance over her bare shoulder, she started to stroll away, wandering the perimeter of the dance floor, "I currently have everything that I could ever want."

Intrigued, Pacey didn't hesitate to follow right along, adjusting his tie as he cleared his throat.

"Everything?" he asked, his voice deepening suggestively.

"Well, maybe not everything." She glanced back at him, feigning innocence even as she added a little sway to her hips, and trying not to smile too much when she noticed his visible reaction. "I mean, this is a wedding, and you have to admit that's a really good band…" She paused a moment, letting out a soft sigh. "But I haven't even had one dance."

Pacey stood back, hands in his trouser pockets as he regarded her from what seemed a safe distance-as if she had suddenly transformed into something slightly dangerous before his very eyes. Narrowing his gaze in appraisal, his wary expression shifted between some amused affection and a swiftly rising desire.

"Are you telling me, Potter, or asking me?"

She held his gaze a beat on her half smile.

"Hmm…maybe a little of both."

His grin warmed his eyes before he ducked his head to chuckle quietly. Hands still in his pockets, he took those last few steps to close the distance, close enough to almost touch, and smiled down at her.

"Ah, so that's how it would be, huh?" he asked softly, his eyes slowly drifting over her face as he inclined his head towards the two grooms across the room. "If it were me and you?"

Joey could only gaze up at him a moment, lost within all that breathtaking blue. Although she maintained her composure, still playing along, inside she was trembling. It was the closest they had ever come to the truth.

"Maybe a little like that, yeah."

She watched him as she said the words, noticing the subtle shift in his expression, and the way his smile softened. Inexplicably, for a moment she actually thought she might be on the verge of tears, yet felt nothing but happiness

Pacey seemed like he was about to say something, the words forming on his lips, but then he only glanced down at the ground. She could almost feel the emotion tying a knot in his tongue, and she struggled along with him, grinning in near relief when he finally lifted his eyes back to hers.

"It's the suit, right?" he joked, smoothing a hand down the finely tailored lapel. "Because I look pretty damn good in this suit."

She laughed. "If you do say so yourself, right?"

"Well, someone has to say it," he replied, arching his brow. "Unlike you, who looks good in anything." His gravelly voice dropped to that thrilling, deep timbre as he lowered his head. "Or especially nothing at all..."

Joey almost let him make contact, but then teasingly ducked away just as his warm breath tickled her lips. She tried not to smile too much when she heard him bury a soft groan-even though she felt it to her knees.

She wandered away, through the door out onto the deck, tasting salt on the warm breeze that swept across the blue ocean view. The afternoon light was already turning pink, approaching that golden hour.

Pacey strolled out behind her, leaning against the porch rail as he gave her one of his looks, a faint smirk lurking somewhere behind his expression.

"What?" she laughed, once again playing innocent.

"You know exactly what," he said, glancing off over the gardens as he chuckled wryly. "Don't give me that."

She only smiled. "Lovely wedding, isn't it?"

He grinned at this and, glancing back, his gaze fell on the delicate charm she wore around her neck--the very same one he gaze her on Mother's Day. Smiling, he brought his hand to it, lifting the little Meg charm on the tip of his finger.

She had to swallow back a silent gasp when his knuckles grazed her skin, feeling like he lit a fire within.

"It looks nice with those new breas-I mean, with that new dress," he amended.

Joey only narrowed her gaze to give him a skeptical smirk of reproof as he chuckled.

"So, fess up." Sighing, he smoothed away a strand of hair the wind blew across her cheek. "How many times today did you call?"

"Once."

He gave her another heavy-eyed look.

"Okay, more like seven," she relented with a sheepish grin, tucking the hair behind her ear. "And you?"

"Me?" He furrowed his brow to scoff as if the idea were preposterous. "I think by now it's apparent that Natalie is wise and mature beyond her years, a perfectly capable caregiver, so I…" He gave up there, relaxing back into a grin. "Twice. I called twice."

"I'm actually kind of sorry we didn't bring her," Joey admitted. "I think she would've really enjoyed it."

"Well, next wedding we're at," he said, "maybe we can think of a way to include her."

Joey arched an eyebrow. "Who says they'll even be a next one?"

He met her eyes again with one of those smiles that quicken her pulse, and set her heart racing.

"I think I already told you, Jo…I'm leaving that entirely up to you."

Staring at him speechlessly, she had to swallow to even breathe, her mouth suddenly going dry.

"In the meantime," he sighed, pushing away from the deck rail to hold out his hand, "How about that dance?"

Joey took the hand he offered, letting him lead her inside to a more secluded corner of the dance floor. He eased her into his embrace, into that perfect fit, just as the band shifted over into something slow.

She glanced up almost shyly to meet his eyes. "Sounds like another old song."

Only the corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile and, without a word, he leaned down, soothing the tiny trembles of her bottom lip as he captured it in a slow, soft kiss. It was gentle, yet seductive, conveying a sense of promise with that underlying ache of longing, so Joey was helpless to do anything but kiss him back.

Enticed and entranced by the delicious slow strokes of his tongue, her hands smoothed up the hard wall of his chest as he fisted the back of her hair. This kiss went on and on, probably for a few minutes too long, but every single second of it was pure heaven. Her mind went hazy with that lovely warmth of desire, so Joey was only vaguely aware of the fact they were doing this right out in the bright wide open, in the middle of the wedding celebration, caught up in the moment and swept away by a completely unguarded show of feeling and emotion.

Despite how intimately Pacey knew her by now, it was like experiencing the delicious thrill of their very first kiss, leaving her weak-kneed and breathless.

When he finally broke away, giving one last, sweet pull on her bottom lip as if to savor the taste, their eyes met and for a long moment all either one could do was smile.

In the background, other faces finally came back into focus, and Joey noticed Jack first. She realized, however--for maybe the first time all day-- he wasn't smiling. She hesitated, and her stomach sank just a little, worried they were wrong to have been so open in their affection. But when she glanced back up at Pacey's face, that slow sinking sensation went into freefall, landing with a sickeningly hard thud. Not only was his smile gone, but his entire expression had hardened into something dark and wary. Only he wasn't looking at her. He was looking past her.

Turning slowly, Joey knew before their eyes even met who it would be.

Dawson.

The steely flint of his gaze knifed between them, his face dead of expression.

She had to swallow back a hard lump in her throat to speak, so her voice came out as a rasp of breath.

"D-Dawson…when did you get here?"

"Just in time, apparently." The quiet sarcasm in his tone left a deeply bitter aftertaste. "And this wasn't exactly the homecoming I asked for, but I guess it's the one I should have expected."

Flustered, fumbling, Joey tried to respond. "You never sent a response. Nobody knew if you were going to come."

"I wasn't," he said flatly. "But I had to fly back from Europe on business, so I transferred flights to one coming into Logan. I figured I should at least put in an appearance to congratulate two old friends." He smirked then, almost laughed, but it was a sound of utter disgust. "I still can't quite believe what I'm walking into here, however. That you would seriously be so cold and callous, so vulgar as to flaunt your infidelities?" For the first time, he addressed Pacey directly, scowling with contempt. "How long ago did your marriage to Andie even end? This is her brother's wedding. Do you operate of some depraved need to hurt and humiliate her even more?"

Joey was only grateful that Andie was already safely on her way back to Providence.

"The two of you," he nearly snarled now, suddenly and viciously snide, "it goes beyond disgust, beyond comprehension. It's pathetic, is what it is. Does your twisted obsession run so deep?" He fixed his gaze on Pacey again. "And the baby-oh, it is yours, by the way? You've had the tests done, right? Because I honestly couldn't even tell you who else she slept with while I was away…hell, let's face it, there's even an outside chance it could be mine, right?"

Joey could barely even look at him, but she felt Pacey's whole body tighten with tension and restraint, his gaze holding a dangerous warning.

There was never even a glimmer of doubt in her mind that it was Pacey. She knew for sure, even before Meg was here, resembling him in every conceivable way. So what would possess Dawson to make such an unfounded claim? How could he even dare, when she already told him otherwise?

It made Joey wonder again if he had looked at that medical bill, looked into her private records and made wrong assumptions on some dates. But what else had he seen? Suddenly, she was hit with a wave of dread and nausea so strong she was afraid she might throw up on the spot.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's something you would want to know," Dawson went onto casually, and it suddenly occurred to Joey that he was acting strangely, like he was possibly intoxicated. "To have some solid proof--seeing how it ended your marriage and destroyed Andie's entire life. Especially since it was only because she wasn't getting what she wanted from me that sent her back here, to you. Did she mention how she had no friends in LA, or how that big job didn't quite work out as expected…" Dawson's snorted out a cruel laugh. "But what better way to make her feel good about herself than to see how high she could still get you to jump--and you did it, too! Just like she knew you would. There you are, probably thinking this is some second chance…but the truth is, to her? You mean nothing."

It seemed Dawson had a knack for selecting only the words he knew would inflict the most damage.

"Infidelity, though…we can't give Joey all the credit, now can we?" He flicked his hard gaze at her once and then back. "No, you always just took what you wanted, consequences and other people be damned. Yet, even after you got what you wanted, after you slept together, after you cheated on your wife--tell me, Pacey, where was she? Because as I recall, she came back in LA." Sudden fury spit through his voice now, and he punctuated the words with small jabs of his finger into the air. "She knew she was pregnant but came back to me, back in LA, back in my house, back in my bed. In my bed, maybe with someone else's child in her, and she never said a word. How's that make you feel? Because I know how it made me feel."

Joey's mouth dropped in dismay, but it was swiftly replaced by anger. She knew Dawson was hurt, and she could admit to the terrible truth of her cheating, but this was an obvious attempt at a lie. She knew what he was trying to imply, and they both knew it wasn't true.

It was what caused Pacey to finally break, however, and he lunged without warning. Probably anticipating the reaction, Doug managed to jump in before he could do real damage, but it took another couple of wedding guests, his friends from the police department, to physically hold him back.

It was Jack who emerged from the fray to stand in Dawson's way, pressing a hand to his chest. To some it may have appeared he was holding him back from any similar acts of aggression, but in actuality he was just trying to keep Dawson from getting himself killed.

Dawson tried to push him away, shouting past him.

"Why did she wait so long to tell you, Pacey, huh? Can you answer that? What do you think she was waiting for?"

"Just end it, man," Jack warned him. "Let it go."

This caused Dawson to finally take a step back, brushing off his suit jacket as he stared at Jack, aghast.

"Jack…you're not seriously on their side?" he asked in disbelief. "After what they did to nearly ruin your sister's life? After all their deceit and selfishness and lies…you would defend them?"

"It's the wrong time and place, Dawson," Doug interjected.

Pacey finally shrugged off his hold, pacing the floor like a caged animal ready to attack, but too many trained men were now blocking his way.

"No, I want to hear it from Jack," Dawson insisted. "You welcome them to a gathering that should be reserved for family and close friends with open arms? Is this some idea of a sick joke? I want to know--why are they even here?"

Jack sighed wearily, but his response was steady and even. "They're here because this is where they belong...with the people who love them, with each other and with their daughter. They're here tonight because they want to wish us well and share into our happiness, Dawson. So maybe you need to ask yourself, why the hell are you here? Simply to stir up problems and reopen old wounds? And you actually claim to be concerned about Andie? Come on, man…" Jack shook his head with a small scowl of scorn and skepticism, and lifted his hands to gesture. "Is that why you didn't bother to reply? Did you just come here so you could walk in and ambush them, ruining the night with this vendetta and old tirade? "

While Dawson's response was to Jack, he looked directly past him at Joey. The look he gave her conveyed the full extent of his contempt and disgust.

"I have no idea why I'm back here, and I'll save you the trouble of asking me to leave. I couldn't stand here and witness another second of this, anyway."

He turned to leave then, the wedding guests who had congregated around the scene stepping back silently to let him pass.

Joey could barely move for a moment, half afraid she might buckle to the floor, but suddenly Gretchen was at her side, her arm on hers for support.

"Guess it's good we took cover in the ladies room, huh?" she made an attempt at humor. "Save the women and children first."

Joey only pursed her lips tight, her eyes watering with the hot sting of tears.

"Oh, no, no…don't you let him make you cry," Gretchen clucked gently as she frowned, but her tone remained firm. Leaning in close, she softened her voice to a confidential whisper and squeezed her arm tight. "You have much too much to be happy about…"

As Joey glanced around, however, her face flush with the shame of embarrassment, all she saw were the stares and curious frowns of strangers in the crowd. Even the band had stopped playing to stand there and gawk. All these witnesses to hear her story-the marriage she ruined, the baby girl who was really only an accident, the result of a night of infidelity and lies. Tomorrow her entire life would again be reduced to the stuff of hurtful gossip and whispered rumor. Only this time it would include her innocent baby daughter.

Behind her, they were still trying to calm Pacey down.

"It's okay…" She heard Doug try to soften his strained voice. "Just relax. He's gone. It's over."

"One more word out of his mouth," Pacey muttered darkly, "and I swear I was gonna fucking rip him apart with my bare hands…"

She noticed Jack wince, his wedding day now ruined, as he lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, probably thinking of his sister and grateful she wasn't here to have to go through it all again.

And Joey only stood there, surrounded by all the people she loved.

All the same people she hurt.

Turning away without a word to any of them, she walked right out the closest door, feeling a claustrophobic, clawing sensation at her chest and desperate for fresh air to breathe. In a heartbeat, Pacey was there behind her, down the steps of the deck and across the lawn, running to catch up.

"Jo…Joey. Wait…"

He jogged up to get in front of her, moving to block her way as he gently grasped onto her arms. Behind him, the sky was stained with the hues of sunset, and all around them shadows were starting to gather in the garden.

"What's going on? Where are you going?" he asked, the concern in his blue eyes still darkened by harsh remnants of anger, although his tone was tender. "Look, I apologize, okay? I know I lost a little back there, but-"

"No…it's not you, Pace," she said, her voice barely a raspy whisper as she shook her head and looked away, still shaking on the inside. "It's nothing you did. It just--it feels like it's never going to end." Upset and confused, a little sick to her stomach, all she knew right now was that she needed distance on this place--distance from herself, if it were only possible. "Everything that's happened…with Meg to think about…I don't know, maybe it's not the right time."

"Not the right time for what?"

"For this."

His body went completely still for a moment, and then he slowly released his hold, arms falling back stiffly to his side. Suddenly, his voice got very quiet.

"By this, you mean us."

Joey tried to respond but emotion welled up in her throat, a lump too hard and painful to dislodge.

"You're going to do this again?" His anger flared again, fueling his bitter disbelief. He stopped to scowl at her and nearly shouted. "You're going to fucking let him do this to us again--after everything?"

She winced, but was helpless to say anything, trying to hold back the hot wave of tears building behind her eyes, scorching her throat.

"Right," Pacey scoffed when he got no answer, dropping his head to walk away. "I'll see ya."

Desperation managed to wrench an urgent cry from her. "Pacey, wait!" She spun around to plead. "Don't…"

He paused, but his gray, somber eyes only seemed to look right through her.

"No, you know what? Maybe I can't do this again," he said, strangely and coldly matter-of-fact. "And this is supposed to be a celebration for Doug and Jack, right? Like you said--it's not about us. In fact, it's never been about us. So maybe we should just face the facts." He turned to go again, muttering quietly under his breath. "It's never gonna be…"

Watching him walk away as the tears streamed silently down her cheeks, Joey clamped her mouth shut to suppress a soft sob.

Behind her, the sun finally sank below the horizon, fiery embers fading to dusk. And in front of her, there in the deep blue twilight, the first star of the evening appeared in the sky.